SarcasticBlonde Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 (edited) Hi, I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 months and he is wonderful. Things are going great and he treats me better than any other man I have ever dated. He is 31, I'm 30. It is a little bit different for me though because we both come from different cultures. I'm Caucasian and was born and raised in the United States. He is Japanese but spent most of his life in Great Britain. He moved to New York for his job as an engineer. He has only had one girlfriend and that was when he was in his mid twenties and it lasted a few years. I have a bit more experience when it comes to dating. He told me for the first time the other day he has always only been romantically interested in Caucasian women. He has never dated an asian woman or any woman of any other race. I was quite surprised by that. I have never dated an Asian guy before him, but I was open to different cultures if I felt chemistry. So I guess my question is, is this common? Edited January 14, 2011 by SarcasticBlonde
waynesworld Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 I have a couple of asian friends like your boyfriend. They just find caucasian women more physically attractive. Some guys like blondes, some guys like brunettes, some guys like other guys. It's just a preference.
Author SarcasticBlonde Posted January 14, 2011 Author Posted January 14, 2011 I have a couple of asian friends like your boyfriend. They just find caucasian women more physically attractive. Some guys like blondes, some guys like brunettes, some guys like other guys. It's just a preference. I guess I was looking at it a little more seriously than hair color...lol.
musemaj111 Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 Did you know that recently a Chinese pop singer died from a plastic surgery in her attempt to totally alter her face to be more Caucasian? In Asia, its the dream of everybody to look white. And as someone who grew up in Asia, I also like Caucasian women more over other races due to my upbringing.
Author SarcasticBlonde Posted January 14, 2011 Author Posted January 14, 2011 Did you know that recently a Chinese pop singer died from a plastic surgery in her attempt to totally alter her face to be more Caucasian? In Asia, its the dream of everybody to look white. And as someone who grew up in Asia, I also like Caucasian women more over other races due to my upbringing. No I didn't know that. Why do you prefer Caucasian women?
tigressA Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 I wouldn't concern myself with it. I think if he had some kind of fetish he wouldn't have brought up his preference to you. The relationship is going well and you're happy, kudos.
Untouchable_Fire Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 He told me for the first time the other day he has always only been romantically interested in Caucasian women. He has never dated an asian woman or any woman of any other race. I was quite surprised by that. I have never dated an Asian guy before him, but I was open to different cultures if I felt chemistry. So I guess my question is, is this common? Who cares... he treats you good and you like him. Win! I've known several Japanese guys who married American women. Japanese people like many, many other cultures like light skin tones and light eyes.
Untouchable_Fire Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 Did you know that recently a Chinese pop singer died from a plastic surgery in her attempt to totally alter her face to be more Caucasian? In Asia, its the dream of everybody to look white. And as someone who grew up in Asia, I also like Caucasian women more over other races due to my upbringing. I actually read that on Fox News of all places. They didn't say she was trying to look more caucasian. They had a picture posted and she was quite pretty already.
fishtaco Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 He told me for the first time the other day he has always only been romantically interested in Caucasian women. He has never dated an asian woman or any woman of any other race. I was quite surprised by that. I have never dated an Asian guy before him, but I was open to different cultures if I felt chemistry. So I guess my question is, is this common? Yes it is. I'm Asian, my preference is Hispanic women. Not that I don't date any other ethnicities, I do, just my preference is Hispanic women. As for Asian women, not that I don't want to date them, I just usually don't pay much attention to them. If I'm the one that has to do the work of approaching, I'm going to approach a non-Asian woman, preferably a Hispanic woman. But if an Asian woman approaches me, why not, I'll give her a chance if she strikes my fancy. One of my long time friends who is now married to a Caucasian thinks exactly the same way as me, except he doesn't have a preference for Hispanic women. So far, not counting Filipinas (because I like them too, the darker skinned ones), I've only been with a half Chinese. That's the extent of my experience with Asian women... 0.5. But that's because Asian women don't date Asian men either. So you have disinterest going both ways. I see these types of Asian men: 1) The ones that are obviously immigrants, they don't fit into the US culture very well, prefer everything of their own culture. They tend to date women that are the same as them... i.e. immigrants that stick to their own ethnicity. 2) Westernized ones like myself, and probably your boyfriend. We tend to date non-Asians. Personal preferences aside, it's also practical, because we are too "white" for the immigrants, and Americanized Asian women don't date Asian men. 3) The lazy Asians. They can't get women, but they're too lazy to improve themselves, so they sit around and complain about how Asian women rather date white guys than them. There are Asian players too. Years ago I happen to run across this Korean kid that barely speaks English, but damn he gets EVERYTHING. I don't know how he does it, his skills transcend language and cultural barriers. I don't even think he's a good looking guy (from a straight male's perspective, so I could be totally off). But he's got that X-Factor. Man, I am still impressed to this day when I think about it. It's like magic.
tami-chan Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 Did you know that recently a Chinese pop singer died from a plastic surgery in her attempt to totally alter her face to be more Caucasian? In Asia, its the dream of everybody to look white. And as someone who grew up in Asia, I also like Caucasian women more over other races due to my upbringing. I am of Asian descent (Japanese)... in Asia, being fair (or white) has nothing to do with wanting to look "caucasian"-at least, not in most Far East Asian countries. It is culturally rooted. Long time ago, the darker Asians are usually the laborers ( they had to work exposed to the elements, i.e. the sun. The more privileged ones didn't have to and even were shielded from the sun when they went out. So that , when a girl is born poor but fair skinned, she is considered "very attractive" and the hope would be for her to attract someone from a higher social class. At any rate, with globalization and such, I am not surprised that Asian men would find non-Asian women attractive and not only find them attractive but actually have the "b*lls" to ask them out.-'about time! Asian men have so much to give and share! Enjpy your BF! I myself have never dated an Asian guy (been asked out many times, though)...but it is because I have a Caucasian fetish...
tami-chan Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 Enjpy your BF! I myself have never dated an Asian guy (been asked out many times, though)...but it is because I have a Caucasian fetish... I better clarify this...I AM being sarcastic about having a "fetish" . I think OP is wondering if her BF has a fetish for Caucasian women...just like many people think men who only date Asian women have a fetish for them... I think he simply just finds your type attractive it does not necessarily have to be a fetish. Again, enjoy!
stillafool Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 Hi, So I guess my question is, is this common? I think it is just a matter of choice and what appeals to him. Just like some men are attracted to only tall brunettes. No different.
Author SarcasticBlonde Posted January 15, 2011 Author Posted January 15, 2011 I am of Asian descent (Japanese)... in Asia, being fair (or white) has nothing to do with wanting to look "caucasian"-at least, not in most Far East Asian countries. It is culturally rooted. Long time ago, the darker Asians are usually the laborers ( they had to work exposed to the elements, i.e. the sun. The more privileged ones didn't have to and even were shielded from the sun when they went out. So that , when a girl is born poor but fair skinned, she is considered "very attractive" and the hope would be for her to attract someone from a higher social class. At any rate, with globalization and such, I am not surprised that Asian men would find non-Asian women attractive and not only find them attractive but actually have the "b*lls" to ask them out.-'about time! Asian men have so much to give and share! Enjpy your BF! I myself have never dated an Asian guy (been asked out many times, though)...but it is because I have a Caucasian fetish... Not too concerned it was a fetish, just very curious about his preference. I always assumed most Asian men dated preferred Asian women.
USMCHokie Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 I always assumed most Asian men dated preferred Asian women. I've dated every race except Asian...
callingyouuu Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 For me, as an asian male born and raised in the USA, it has to do with the personality types that you tend to find in caucasian women. They tend to be more independent, assertive, and just generally more resilient in personality. Their values are also more similar to mine overall. This isn't to say that there aren't any asian women like this, but it explains why there is just a larger pool of caucasian women I would be interested in than asian women.
BlueRidgeMTs Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 I guess i'm the odd ball out here. I find people who disregard people of their own race to date others as having some sort of deeper "issue" than just simply preference. I dont feel its the same as liking blondes over brunettes, or short people over tall, etc..etc. I think that if you are, for example, Asian, and you totally disregard Asians to go after non asians to date, then its some sort of self loathing you have. Im sorry..im sure im in the minority here. But, to me, a person who has a healthy, emotional outlook on THEMSELVES and their race, would not be like that. A person who is happy and proud and comfortable with their race would go after and have just as much interest in their OWN race as others, if not more. In this world, society tells us "white is right". all our standards of beauty are defined by white features, whether male or female. I truly believe deep inside a lot of minorites who only date whites for example, do that because somewhere deep inside, they think whites are better..or they think they will be regarded better by others if they have a white partner. Usually, people deny this left and right. They will tell you that they simply have a preference, but that it doesnt mean they dont care for their own kind. However, just about every person i know who does this, if i hang around them long enough or they get comfortable enough..they finally admit that they just think dating whites is better. I personally dont like people like that. It just makes me feel like they have some self image issues, and that they have drank the kool-aid when it comes to the "white is right" thing. I am in a relationship right now with a black man (although he has some mixture also..as I do) who dated mostly non black women. He swore he was not biased against black women when we first met. I was put off by that, because as i said before, I dont care for people like that. I took a chance on him, and we are boyfriend and girlfriend now. We are both very lightskinned blacks, with some mixture down the line. As we grew to know each other, he finally admitted that he just felt a lot of black women were ghetto, and that in order to get ahead in the world (he was into Real Estate and Investment Banking) he felt he needed to have a white women on his arm because he saw how they could open doors when doing business. So, to me, there is always some other reason when people overlook their own kind. But, people dont like to admit that.
USMCHokie Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 A lot of minoriites just experiment with white women. Uh...I definitely do not agree with this...I'm sure there are folks that think of dating as "experimenting," but how about this: you date people you meet and like...it's as simple as that...the only reason I've dated white women is because I grew up in a predominantly white area...and so I became accustomed to having white friends and meeting white people...there was never a time when I saw a non-Asian woman and thought to myself, "now's my chance to experiment!"...it's as simple as, boy likes girl, girl likes boy, boy dates girl... This is all truly unfortunate...
spacekey Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 He has never dated an asian woman or any woman of any other race. I was quite surprised by that. ... So I guess my question is, is this common? No, I don't think that is common. I grew up both in Asia and the West... but I also have never dated Asian girls. In fact, usually I don't find them attractive. And for the same reasons as this guy: For me, as an asian male born and raised in the USA, it has to do with the personality types that you tend to find in caucasian women. They tend to be more independent, assertive, and just generally more resilient in personality. Over here, the Asian girls are usually shy, prude and conservative. Those are not my values. So I usually hang out with Caucasians. It's not that I exclude Asian girls beforehand. But really, among my peers, there are only a few Asian girls who go to parties. I am not surprised that Asian men would find non-Asian women attractive and not only find them attractive but actually have the "b*lls" to ask them out.-'about time! This is so interesting! I've never heard of this stereotype before, that Asian men don't date Caucasian women. I did a bit of googling... so many discussions on this topic. Where I live, we don't question the possibility that Asian men date Caucasian women - it just happens!
quietGuy13 Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 for me it's the other way. I'm not Asian(and not white) and I have only befriended mostly Asian women.Cause it's easy and they accept me. Versus American born women who think (always) that i'm a loser and stupid cause i'm shy and quiet. Meanwhile the Asians(from asia) i've met that are nice are really happy to talk to me. At work, there's Americans/latinos/and AsianAmericans and they think i'm a piece of c*ap.
mtber75 Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 OP. He's just westernized so he's use to being around white people and culture. I'm also an westernized Asian (American) so I guess I'm looking for more forwardness in a woman (non Asian quality). I dated Asian women before and more often than not, its a one way street where I do all the initiating...That's a lot of work:) I never had any particular preferences when it comes to race. But I'm really into brunettes:)
pandagirl Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 OP. He's just westernized so he's use to being around white people and culture. I'd have to second this. I'm Asian-American, born-and-raised here, and I have not dated any Asian men. I attribute this to being primarily around Caucasian people growing up. You're just attracted to what you're used to a lot of the time.
Ruby Slippers Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 I guess i'm the odd ball out here. I find people who disregard people of their own race to date others as having some sort of deeper "issue" than just simply preference. I truly believe deep inside a lot of minorites who only date whites for example, do that because somewhere deep inside, they think whites are better..or they think they will be regarded better by others if they have a white partner. I think you are right. It's quite rare to hear white people say, "I don't date white people / I'm not attracted to white people." It's usually Asian or black people who avoid their own race for dating.
TouchedByViolet Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 I know white girls who love black men, white guys who only date asian women, black men who go crazy for middle eastern women, Filipino men/women who only date within their own ethnicity, and etc. I think most of it is just a preference built from a person's environment, upbringing, and their unique personality. I wouldn't make too many generalizations about someone just because of which ethnicities they are or are not physically attracted too.
spacekey Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 I guess I'm looking for more forwardness in a woman (non Asian quality). I dated Asian women before and more often than not, its a one way street where I do all the initiating...That's a lot of work:) Oh yeah, I totally agree with that. Typical Asian girls wouldn't surprise you by suddenly sitting on your lap, opening your zipper, putting a condom on your little friend and saying "I want you now". That is soooo sexy... can't imagine Asian girls doing that. Maybe westernized Asian girls. The only ones I met who were that liberal were from California.
tigressA Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Oh yeah, I totally agree with that. Typical Asian girls wouldn't surprise you by suddenly sitting on your lap, opening your zipper, putting a condom on your little friend and saying "I want you now". That is soooo sexy... can't imagine Asian girls doing that. Maybe westernized Asian girls. The only ones I met who were that liberal were from California. I'm mixed (black/white) and my BF is Indian; he was born and spent most of his life in India, so only dated Indian girls before he met me. He told me the other day that I'm the only one who's made him feel really special because I'm not shy at all about showing my affection for him and how much I desire him (he responds in kind! )--girls he dated before were rather prudish in that way.
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