Aisha4457 Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 Well after a rocky break up and past few weeks I spoke to my ex today. He said the door is definitely shut and he is 100% sure in his decision. So we spoke about the relationship were it went wrong for both of us and what we could have done better to make it work. He agreed with everything I said and said he blames himself for it all, wishes he could of done it better and he is a complete kn*b for it. I said to him I can't believe I'm not going to see you again and he put a '' Then he had to go so he said I'm here if you need me xxx and left. I am just sooo fustrated, if we both know where we went wrong, both know what to do to fix it, why not give it another go!!
500daysofsummer Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 (edited) hey aisha, i know how you feel. after my ex and i broke up. she told me she never wanted to talk to me again. we'll never get back together. she even started a serious relationship, said she loves him etc etc blah blah. she put on the full court press and i knew deep down that she was bluffing. but i kept on breaking NC, begging, pleading for another chance (bad idea). no luck. but after a year and a half she finally told me that she loves me (always did) and she still has feelings for me. she said she still doesn't want a relationship but that she still wants me in her life and she misses me. and maybe we can talk about things later. don't give up hope. only you know how much you love him and if he really loves you. you kind of got a feeling as to how he's feeling right? i knew my ex still loved me even though she said she didn't. i could feel it. turns out i was right (not being arrogant). but i think the best thing for you to do in this situation is to give him his space and to NC him. i read somewhere that guys are more likely to break NC than girls and i believe it. im a guy and i ALWAYS broke NC. there's a chance that he really might be over you. based on what you wrote i don't he's over you. you can't change his mind, he has to come to his senses. and the only way he can do that is by you giving him a chance to miss you by NCing him. what do you think? Edited January 14, 2011 by 500daysofsummer
SophiaL Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 Hey Aisha, how long were you guys together for? I'm in a similiar position, we spoke about what went wrong, but i was mainly the one to get the blame...he said there was a time that he realised i had changed a lot and then he just let it go, it made me very upset cause i just wanted him to try to work things out, and he just took a step back and let our relationship go...as a mutual decision we then split up. I think it gets to a point that men just let it go, so that they try new things...who knows? Botton line is even though you had this conversation with him, you will always have questions about it...and the more you ask the more they get upset, maybe just give him space, but while doing that try to move on and better yourself...you will have good days and bad days, i unfortunately keep breaking NC... but if you think you can be strong, just go NC and whatever is meant to happen, will happen...
Author Aisha4457 Posted January 14, 2011 Author Posted January 14, 2011 hey aisha, i know how you feel. after my ex and i broke up. she told me she never wanted to talk to me again. we'll never get back together. she even started a serious relationship, said she loves him etc etc blah blah. she put on the full court press and i knew deep down that she was bluffing. but i kept on breaking NC, begging, pleading for another chance (bad idea). no luck. but after a year and a half she finally told me that she loves me (always did) and she still has feelings for me. she said she still doesn't want a relationship but that she still wants me in her life and she misses me. and maybe we can talk about things later. don't give up hope. only you know how much you love him and if he really loves you. you kind of got a feeling as to how he's feeling right? i knew my ex still loved me even though she said she didn't. i could feel it. turns out i was right (not being arrogant). but i think the best thing for you to do in this situation is to give him his space and to NC him. i read somewhere that guys are more likely to break NC than girls and i believe it. im a guy and i ALWAYS broke NC. there's a chance that he really might be over you. based on what you wrote i don't he's over you. you can't change his mind, he has to come to his senses. and the only way he can do that is by you giving him a chance to miss you by NCing him. what do you think? He said last time we split up he would never want me back but hey ho when we saw eachother after a month and a half he realised how much he missed me. So much crap has happened since we broke up he hasn't had the chance to miss me. I do think he still loves me to an extent but I don't know if he is over me or not. I guess only time will tell. I love him more than anything in this whole world, and if that means setting him free, thats what I will do. Hey Aisha, how long were you guys together for? I'm in a similiar position, we spoke about what went wrong, but i was mainly the one to get the blame...he said there was a time that he realised i had changed a lot and then he just let it go, it made me very upset cause i just wanted him to try to work things out, and he just took a step back and let our relationship go...as a mutual decision we then split up. I think it gets to a point that men just let it go, so that they try new things...who knows? Botton line is even though you had this conversation with him, you will always have questions about it...and the more you ask the more they get upset, maybe just give him space, but while doing that try to move on and better yourself...you will have good days and bad days, i unfortunately keep breaking NC... but if you think you can be strong, just go NC and whatever is meant to happen, will happen... We were together for a year officially year and a half as a "thing" felt like I had known him forever though. I really really want to resolve it and the ways we could resolve it are so simple. But we are both very hurt at the moment. I just don't know whether to go full NC or sometimes talk to him to remind him of me...I know that sounds silly, but I just want my boy back.
SophiaL Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 It doesn't sound silly at all! All I want is my ex back too, Go NC for as long as you can, and I believe he will then contact you-don't cry or beg...just show him you are working through the break up...
Author Aisha4457 Posted January 14, 2011 Author Posted January 14, 2011 It doesn't sound silly at all! All I want is my ex back too, Go NC for as long as you can, and I believe he will then contact you-don't cry or beg...just show him you are working through the break up... Okay hun, thanks for your support and kind words it means alot x Part me thinks he wants it but is scared it will mess up again, but it won't! Well not on my behalf anyway!!
Author Aisha4457 Posted January 15, 2011 Author Posted January 15, 2011 Well thanks to one of my "friends" the ending on good terms and NC lasted all of 2 hours. She messed it all up for me. Had an argument and in turn he had to contact me to say sorry for getting me involved and crap. My so called friends have been on at him since we broke up. Whatever chance there was to rekindle anything I bet has gone now.
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