Hannah86 Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 My boyfriend and I have very traditional upbringings, but our parents 100% support us moving in together around the 1-year mark (we are at 8 months now) He is about to then 26 and I just turned 24. We have talked about becoming engaged in about 2 years, married in 3. He has also asked, "would you rather have a small ring now, or a big one later?" which had me thinking. Note: HE is the one that first suggested moving in, HE is the one that always brings up the subject of marriage. I know a LOT of people will be very judgmental about us moving in together in sin. Do you think talking about a subtle, inexpensive promise ring would shut people up, like, show that we are not stupid enough to rush into marriage, but we know that this is the real thing? Or are promise rings really, really stupid?
denise_xo Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 I think you are both brave and wise to set your relationship within a time frame that is right for the two of you. It's great that your families support you as well. If a ring will be both a meaningful internal symbol for the two of you as well as a signal to society around you that you are serious about each other, then no I don't think that's stupid at all. Whether it would actually shut everyone up is an open question, but the important thing is that the two of you know what's right for you and that you can confidently stand by that.
O'Malley Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 (edited) I wouldn't worry about the ring -- your families are supportive of your relationship and that's what matters. Acquaintances are going to think and say what they want. Have either of you lived alone, or with roommates, yet? It's always a good idea to live on your own and have your own life before you cohabitate or are married. Keep in mind that you can still pretty much live together at each other's homes. It also allows you more time to develop your relationship (and get used to each other's habits) without the pressure of a commitment or lack of one. Regardless, it's not a bad idea to wait another year (the two year mark that your boyfriend discussed), then see if you're still on the same page about engagement and marriage before moving in together. Edited January 14, 2011 by O'Malley
Author Hannah86 Posted January 14, 2011 Author Posted January 14, 2011 Yes we have lived with roommates/alone. I'm not worried about habits, as it is I'm practically living at his place, I can't remember the last time I did my laundry at my own house. I'm not worried about how we'll get along once we move in. We fart around each other and I leave the door open when I pee. We can handle the move in, totally comfortable around each other. I think I was just worried about what others think, which is stupid. I'll proceed as usual.
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