StreetDog Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 (edited) I find that when i'm done with a particular phase of my life, i need to rid myself of all the things pertaining to it. I like to throw stuff away and make a fresh start. A lot of the time it pertains to clothes or particular bands/CDs but sometimes it's people/friends. It's silly stuff. Something as silly as: For a while I was into Metallica. I'm not a metal guy, but I started listening to them a few months ago. I bought a CD. Then i bought another CD. Then I was a fan. Then I didnt feel like a true fan, so I had to have all their CDs. Then I wanted a shirt and even thought about getting a tattoo of one of their logos. Then it just simply wore off and I fel soooo dumb because, i'm not a metal guy and I wondered how this must look to my wife and to my friends. I have NO idea why that happened. I ended up selling the CDs and throwing away the shirt i bought because i just felt foolish. I just threw it all away. I still go thru phases even in my 30's where, I'll want to be metal, then i'll want to be punk, then i'll want to be rockabilly greaser and I dont get why i can't just be ME. Edited January 14, 2011 by StreetDog
sally4sara Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 I have Slayer and Vivaldi in my music catalog. Neither define me. I just like how it sounds depending on my mood. You don't have to be metal. You don't have to be punk. You can just be someone who likes music.
Author StreetDog Posted January 14, 2011 Author Posted January 14, 2011 thanks Sara. I have a ton of different things in my music catalogue as well. I like so many different things and am influenced by so many different things that i guess for me, it's been hard in my life to process it all because I have a "fanatic" nature about me. If I really like something, I LOVE it.. and I throw my whole self into it and want to be all about that "thing". Be it Country Music (oh, i wanna buy some vintage country shirts), be it oh, i'm into Street Art now, or...I'm a Horror Movie guy now, I gotta collect horror figures and movies and shirts and... Not sure why. Identity Crisis? i'm not sure.
josie54 Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 thanks Sara. I have a ton of different things in my music catalogue as well. I like so many different things and am influenced by so many different things that i guess for me, it's been hard in my life to process it all because I have a "fanatic" nature about me. If I really like something, I LOVE it.. and I throw my whole self into it and want to be all about that "thing". Be it Country Music (oh, i wanna buy some vintage country shirts), be it oh, i'm into Street Art now, or...I'm a Horror Movie guy now, I gotta collect horror figures and movies and shirts and... Not sure why. Identity Crisis? i'm not sure. Depends. People change, and what you love now may not what you love in the future. When that happens over time, it's just simply evolving. BUT, if you throw yourself into "thing" after "thing" and then lose interest soon after, THAT'S an identity crisis for sure. It's a distraction from just being with yourself. Sounds corny, but have you tried meditation? 15, 20, or 30 minutes a few times a week of just sitting, breathing, being--that sort of thing. That frenetic feeling of having to collect/collect/collect sounds to me like a coping mechanism that you've created to fill some underlying void. What that void is, only you can discover. Meditation might be one way to quiet your mind enough to find it (many people say they "can't" meditate, which is untrue. Anyone can meditate. You just have to make yourself sit for a few minutes and whenever you mind wanders, bring back to breathing, no matter how many times it takes.) If this truly worries you, scheduling a few sessions with a counselor might be another way to get to the bottom of it. Heck, just talking with friends to ask what their take is on your behavior and who you are as a person could be yet another (cheaper) way to get an objective viewpoint on who you SEEM to be to them. You can compare what they say to what you feel. If there's a discrepancy, sometimes that will help you home in on who you really are.
Author StreetDog Posted January 14, 2011 Author Posted January 14, 2011 JOSIE, you don't know how many times i've thought about meditation but never tried it, simply because I wasn't sure how to do it correctly and just felt like i didn't have the time. I'm convinced now, ha. Seriously though, I really do think it would help me out. I'm really going to look into it. Thanks.
josie54 Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 Here's a book you might consider: Real Happiness: The Power of Meditation (A 28-day program) by Sharon Salzberg. She kind of packs a whole class in meditation into one book--it's a great start for someone who wants to learn more about meditation and different meditation techniques. The most helpful message in it, I think, is that the only way to "do it wrong" is to not do it at all. Otherwise, there are many methods and many outcomes, depending on the individual.
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