Is it cool to ask a girl to shave and shower before you go down on her?

[jane100]

the guy (creep) who originally posted this is a "flamer" - as you can see by the unpleasant and disrespectful arguments that have followed - don't indulge him by even discussing his cretinous original post. people should just have called a spade a spade and told him that in the first place.

[northern_sky]

I think what Sky was meaning is that as Leigh is sexually inexeperienced, she cannot assume that the few men she has known sexually are typical of all men. I am however quite sure Sky was not equating experience levels to hygiene levels.

 

Exactly. You phrased it better than I could have.

 

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[bac]

The guys who write these posts have been watching too much porn and have no central axis for reality anymore about what real sex is actually about, or that women are actually real people with real bodies and real feelings.

 

Indeed. Some guys mistake online dating with going to the grocery store to choose a quality p...sy. They ask for a clean, fresh and shaved p...y. Then, they are contemplating eating the p...y. That is about it.

[theizz]

The guys who write these posts have been watching too much porn and have no central axis for reality anymore about what real sex is actually about, or that women are actually real people with real bodies and real feelings.

 

Being with a girl that is clean and groomed isn't real sex? Who knew?

 

I know they are real girls with real feelings, and I love women. I just want to make them feel as good as possible, but I can't do that if I can't enjoy myself at the same time. I don't want to make them uncomfortable by asking in the wrong way, that's why I'm asking for advice on how to handle this.

[theizz]

the guy (creep) who originally posted this is a "flamer" - as you can see by the unpleasant and disrespectful arguments that have followed - don't indulge him by even discussing his cretinous original post. people should just have called a spade a spade and told him that in the first place.

 

What was unpleasant or disrespectful of anything I wrote? If anything I think the women getting all upset and attacking me are the flamers.

[theizz]

Indeed. Some guys mistake online dating with going to the grocery store to choose a quality p...sy. They ask for a clean, fresh and shaved p...y. Then, they are contemplating eating the p...y. That is about it.

 

That maybe true, but just because I asked about p..y doesn't mean that's all I'm interested in. It just happens to be the topic of this one thread. I'm looking for a long term partner for a real relationship. But sex is an important part of a relationship and I would like to make it as good as possible. I don't see what's wrong with that.

[somedude81]

OK, so it's rude to ask a girl to shower first.

 

But how do you ask somebody to shave or at least trim if she doesn't? Assuming you've already had sex.

 

I like giving oral, but I'm not going to do it if there's a bush.

Edited January 15, 2011 by somedude81

[sweetjasmine]

Being with a girl that is clean and groomed isn't real sex? Who knew?

 

Your mistake is in equating completely shaven with clean, groomed, and hygienic and presumably labeling everything other than being completely bald as unclean and ungroomed.

 

What you don't understand is that removing pubic hair is unhygienic for a woman. That hair is there for a reason. It prevents bacteria and germs from getting into her vagina and it controls the temperature down in her pubic region. A woman who's shaved bald is more likely to develop vaginal infections and yeast infections (from the heat and sweat allowing bacteria to grow). That's not even touching on the issues of nicks, cuts, and ingrown hairs.

 

And you really can't compare a woman completely shaving all of her pubic hair to you shaving yours. In order for you to develop an infection, bacteria would have to go up your urethra. That's much more unlikely than it is for bacteria to go into a woman's vagina.

 

So, yes, it's likely to be taken as an insult, even if a woman isn't aware of the potential risks of shaving bare. Still, I agree with the others. If you don't feel comfortable even broaching the topic with someone, I'm not sure how you could possibly feel comfortable having unprotected oral sex.

[theizz]

Your mistake is in equating completely shaven with clean, groomed, and hygienic and presumably labeling everything other than being completely bald as unclean and ungroomed.

 

What you don't understand is that removing pubic hair is unhygienic for a woman. That hair is there for a reason. It prevents bacteria and germs from getting into her vagina and it controls the temperature down in her pubic region. A woman who's shaved bald is more likely to develop vaginal infections and yeast infections (from the heat and sweat allowing bacteria to grow). That's not even touching on the issues of nicks, cuts, and ingrown hairs.

 

And you really can't compare a woman completely shaving all of her pubic hair to you shaving yours. In order for you to develop an infection, bacteria would have to go up your urethra. That's much more unlikely than it is for bacteria to go into a woman's vagina.

 

So, yes, it's likely to be taken as an insult, even if a woman isn't aware of the potential risks of shaving bare. Still, I agree with the others. If you don't feel comfortable even broaching the topic with someone, I'm not sure how you could possibly feel comfortable having unprotected oral sex.

 

I don't mean to say not being shaved means a girl is unclean, its just not enjoyable to look at or go go down on. I think the health risk you described is so minimal its not really an issue unless the girl knows she's particularly susceptible to it. Most women can shave and will have no related heath issues. I mean there's a health risk that I might trip and fall down the stairs next time I go to leave my condo, but that doesn't keep me from using the stairs.

[Mme. Chaucer]

A historical note from an "older woman":

 

When I was a young woman, having a shaved girly area was considered an interesting kink. It was unusual and special. Pubic hair was completely normal and accepted by everybody.

 

How did this move towards everybody shaving come to pass?

[Emilia]

Your mistake is in equating completely shaven with clean, groomed, and hygienic and presumably labeling everything other than being completely bald as unclean and ungroomed.

 

What you don't understand is that removing pubic hair is unhygienic for a woman. That hair is there for a reason. It prevents bacteria and germs from getting into her vagina and it controls the temperature down in her pubic region. A woman who's shaved bald is more likely to develop vaginal infections and yeast infections (from the heat and sweat allowing bacteria to grow). That's not even touching on the issues of nicks, cuts, and ingrown hairs.

 

And you really can't compare a woman completely shaving all of her pubic hair to you shaving yours. In order for you to develop an infection, bacteria would have to go up your urethra. That's much more unlikely than it is for bacteria to go into a woman's vagina.

 

Actually this is an old fashioned and incorrect, conservative view. Bodyhair was necessary before modern hygiene products.

 

Many European women - including myself - wax Brazilian style and there is a reason why it's so popular: it's much easier to keep clean during menstruation for example.

 

Waxing legs, the nether regions and shaving under arms are essential grooming for the modern woman and many men expect it.

 

You get UTI from wiping in the wrong direction usually.

[theizz]

Alright well I think I have my answer. I start with the scratch and sniff test. If there is an issue with smell, then I don't mention it, but suggest we take a hot shower together. If there's an issue with hair, then I hold off on the oral at first. After a relationship starts to develop and we feel more comfortable with each other, then I mention how I'd love to shave her and go down on her.

 

Does that sound reasonable? I'm curious if I'm still going to get a bunch of angry girls slamming this post.

[tinktronik]

Actually this is an old fashioned and incorrect, conservative view. Bodyhair was necessary before modern hygiene products.

 

Many European women - including myself - wax Brazilian style and there is a reason why it's so popular: it's much easier to keep clean during menstruation for example.

 

Waxing legs, the nether regions and shaving under arms are essential grooming for the modern woman and many men expect it.

 

You get UTI from wiping in the wrong direction usually.

 

My gynecologist says otherwise. She strongly urges all of her patients, because of the increased risk of infections, to stop shaving and waxing their genitals and to perhaps trim instead.

[sweetjasmine]

I think the health risk you described is so minimal its not really an issue unless the girl knows she's particularly susceptible to it. Most women can shave and will have no related heath issues.

 

How do you know that most women will have no related health issues? Some women will be more susceptible to skin problems than others. Some women will be more susceptible to infections than others. Ingrown hairs, razor bumps, and razor burn are very common.

 

I mean there's a health risk that I might trip and fall down the stairs next time I go to leave my condo, but that doesn't keep me from using the stairs.

 

That analogy doesn't work. A woman doesn't need to shave off all her pubic hair in order to go about her daily routine. It's entirely optional.

 

Actually this is an old fashioned and incorrect, conservative view.

 

Take it up with my doctor.

 

It's a fact that bacteria grow in warm, moist places and that pubic hair traps that bacteria and dirt, preventing it from entering your body. If you have no hair, you're more susceptible to those kinds of infections. It has nothing to do with being old-fashioned.

 

Many European women - including myself - wax Brazilian style and there is a reason why it's so popular: it's much easier to keep clean during menstruation for example.

 

Completely removing every pubic hair isn't necessary to keep clean during menstruation. Trimming hair can help.

 

Waxing legs, the nether regions and shaving under arms are essential grooming for the modern woman and many men expect it.

 

It's a social expectation, just like shaving off all of your pubic hair.

[theizz]

Actually a really good lesson I've learned from some of the responses on this thread is that there are some angry closed minded women out there that get offended that a guy could possibly want a girl to shave, and she will grasp for any kind of argument regardless of how truthful it is to defend her stance that she should be able to remain hairy (e.g. she will have all sorts of horrible health problems).

 

So if I date a girl and she comes off like one of the angry women on this thread, then that's a red flag for me to stay away. I would gladly do things for a girl I'm with to make her happy, especially when its as easy as shaving. If a girl can't do the same for me, then she's a little too high strung for me.

Edited January 15, 2011 by theizz

[Stung]

Actually this is an old fashioned and incorrect, conservative view. Bodyhair was necessary before modern hygiene products.

 

Many European women - including myself - wax Brazilian style and there is a reason why it's so popular: it's much easier to keep clean during menstruation for example.

 

Waxing legs, the nether regions and shaving under arms are essential grooming for the modern woman and many men expect it.

 

You get UTI from wiping in the wrong direction usually.

 

It's a simple biological point of view, not old-fashioned and incorrect. Ask any gynecologist. I personally throw caution to the wind and keep shaved more often than not, but I'm aware of the biological facts surrounding the issue. A lot of modern hygiene products do more harm than good on the female anatomy by introducing harmful perfumes or altering the delicate pH balance.

 

Many European women also, by the by, eschew shaving altogether. It's still very common to see hairy pits all over the Continent.

 

Alright well I think I have my answer. I start with the scratch and sniff test. If there is an issue with smell, then I don't mention it, but suggest we take a hot shower together. If there's an issue with hair, then I hold off on the oral at first. After a relationship starts to develop and we feel more comfortable with each other, then I mention how I'd love to shave her and go down on her.

 

Does that sound reasonable? I'm curious if I'm still going to get a bunch of angry girls slamming this post.

 

Yes, that is a much more reasonable position than you gave in your original post. By the way, about half of the responses laughing at you initially were from male posters.

[Art_Critic]

theizz.. it might just be time you to man-up and have sex with a woman hair and all...

 

Just the fact that you won't go down on a woman unless she is bald is kinda ..well...

 

Some women are shaved today.. some women don't and some women just trim it..

You obvious haven't had a discussion with a woman about keeping a shaved bush up, have you ?

 

They have to shave it every day.. nicks... infected hairs and all..

Then with all the razor burn and bumps they get all the itching as it grows back in a day or two if they don't keep it shaved..

 

For you to make it a rule that a woman must shave is just asking too much.. IMO..

 

I didn't read it in this thread but are you shaved or just trimmed ?

[theizz]

theizz.. it might just be time you to man-up and have sex with a woman hair and all...

 

Just the fact that you won't go down on a woman unless she is bald is kinda ..well...

 

Some women are shaved today.. some women don't and some women just trim it..

You obvious haven't had a discussion with a woman about keeping a shaved bush up, have you ?

 

They have to shave it every day.. nicks... infected hairs and all..

Then with all the razor burn and bumps they get all the itching as it grows back in a day or two if they don't keep it shaved..

 

For you to make it a rule that a woman must shave is just asking too much.. IMO..

 

I didn't read it in this thread but are you shaved or just trimmed ?

 

Honestly your reply is too judgmental and assuming for me to even answer your questions.

[Stung]

Actually a really good lesson I've learned from some of the responses on this thread is that there are some angry closed minded women out there that get offended that a guy could possibly want a girl to shave, and she will grasp for any kind of argument regardless of how truthful it is to defend her stance that she should be able to remain hairy (e.g. she will have all sorts of horrible health problems).

 

So if I date a girl and she comes off like one of the angry women on this thread, then that's a red flag for me to stay away. I would gladly do things for a girl I'm with to make her happy, especially when its as easy as shaving. If a girl can't do the same for me, then she's a little too high strung for me.

 

The problem was more with the way you wanted to go about it rather than what you wanted to ask. Maybe you should take a look at your opening post again, it's (apparently unintentionally) pretty hilarious. I DO shave and if you came off with me the way you came off in that post, you would never have had an opportunity to find that out for yourself.

 

BTW, your reading comprehension on the biology issues seems to be a little off. You're obviously allowed to have your sexual preferences, and your preference is that women be shaved. That itself is not really a big deal, a lot of people have that preference, including some women. However, you've been coming across as very high-handed about your preference, and blatantly judging everything else as extremely gross and unhygienic--which is factually inaccurate. Why act shocked that people took it upon themselves to educate you a little bit about something you were apparently ignorant about? Nobody claimed that shaving gives women genital cancer, they simply pointed out some medical facts about possibilities of infections and ingrown hairs to counter your argument that shaving irritations were trivial, rare, and unlikely. You're still clinging to your stance that shaving is always easy, and at this point YOU'RE the one getting your panties in a twist about it. In fact, it's not easy for everyone, as this thread should have revealed to you.

[O'Malley]

 

Waxing legs, the nether regions and shaving under arms are essential grooming for the modern woman and many men expect it.

 

As others have mentioned, most medical professionals don't recommend completely shaving the genital area.

 

Some people may desire smoothly shaved partners; however, it is hypocritical to expect this if they personally are not grooming in a similar manner. I haven't read the entire thread, but I don't recall OP mentioning if he is completely shaved.

 

I'm curious if I'm still going to get a bunch of angry girls slamming this post.

Both men and women disagreed with your views.

[sweetjasmine]

Alright well I think I have my answer. I start with the scratch and sniff test. If there is an issue with smell, then I don't mention it, but suggest we take a hot shower together. If there's an issue with hair, then I hold off on the oral at first. After a relationship starts to develop and we feel more comfortable with each other, then I mention how I'd love to shave her and go down on her.

 

Does that sound reasonable? I'm curious if I'm still going to get a bunch of angry girls slamming this post.

 

It sounds reasonable. The only issue would be that someone might not feel comfortable with another person taking a razor to their genitals. Still, that's a tactful way of approaching the issue.

 

and she will grasp for any kind of argument regardless of how truthful it is to defend her stance that she should be able to remain hairy (e.g. she will have all sorts of horrible health problems).

 

I wonder who you're talking about.

 

My argument comes from advice I got from my own doctor and a list of basic facts. I guess that amounts to grasping at straws. Well, okay, if you say so.

[Art_Critic]

Honestly your reply is too judgmental and assuming for me to even answer your questions.

 

It isn't too judgmental.. you are posting ideas about women and their genital areas that leads me to believe you need to grow up some or you are going to have a tough time having sex with women...

 

Are your genitals shaved ? .. that isn't too judgmental of a question..

[theizz]

The problem was more with the way you wanted to go about it rather than what you wanted to ask. Maybe you should take a look at your opening post again, it's (apparently unintentionally) pretty hilarious. I DO shave and if you came off with me the way you came off in that post, you would never have had an opportunity to find that out for yourself.

 

BTW, your reading comprehension on the biology issues seems to be a little off. You're obviously allowed to have your sexual preferences, and your preference is that women be shaved. That itself is not really a big deal, a lot of people have that preference, including some women. However, you've been coming across as very high-handed about your preference, and blatantly judging everything else as extremely gross and unhygienic--which is factually inaccurate. Why act shocked that people took it upon themselves to educate you a little bit about something you were apparently ignorant about? Nobody claimed that shaving gives women genital cancer, they simply pointed out some medical facts about possibilities of infections and ingrown hairs to counter your argument that shaving irritations were trivial, rare, and unlikely. You're still clinging to your stance that shaving is always easy, and at this point YOU'RE the one getting your panties in a twist about it. In fact, it's not easy for everyone, as this thread should have revealed to you.

 

I'm actually perfectly calm. Nobody here has educated me on health risks. I already know about ingrown hairs, and if you do about 5 minutes of google searching you'll find out how to avoid them. As far as infection, very improbable and shouldn't be an issue.

[Art_Critic]

I'm actually perfectly calm. Nobody here has educated me on health risks. I already know about ingrown hairs, and if you do about 5 minutes of google searching you'll find out how to avoid them. As far as infection, very improbable and shouldn't be an issue.

 

Google tells you how to avoid them ..lol

 

I would suggest you shave yourself and keep it shaved for a month or so then see if your views have changed..

 

As a male who has shaved before I can assure you that shaving isn't a pleasant deal.. Today I use a body razor and only trim..

[theizz]

My argument comes from advice I got from my own doctor and a list of basic facts. I guess that amounts to grasping at straws. Well, okay, if you say so.

 

Yeah you're exaggerating the health risks. They're completely trivial.