amythan Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 Hi, So this guy and I have been in a LDR for several months. We never broke up, just he pulled away but we kept in touch all the time. We saw each other end of Nov and tried to make plans for xmas - but the never happened. We had some big arguments lately because I do not know what he wants. He keeps asking about my life and sticking around but i do not feel he is that interested. But when I ask he is caring and does not leave me alone. Last week we have a massive argument and I told him very clearly that i need to know what he wants exactly. And if he still wants to spend time with me. I am going to be in Berlin end of January. He lives in Paris. So his reply to my email: "I know i keep on disappearing but days go by too fast. I could be in Berlin on the 29 if you want to meet me". What do you think he wants ? Sometimes I think if he was not interested why would he come but from his email I do not see he is that excited. I also wonder if he is just coming to clarify the situation but he can do that on the phone ... As I do not know where we are I do not even asked him if he plans to stay with me. I am lost here.
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 I'm sorry for all you've gone through in this relationship but by this point it seems as if you are willing to take any crumbs this man is willing to toss your way. Is this good for you? If it's worth it, I guess you can go on hoping for and accepting whatever he is giving. From your posts here, though, it sure does not sound like it is.
Negative Nancy Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 if he goes there cos he had something to do (i.e. business) there anyway, then it is not a good sign. if he comes there just for you, it is a good sign and maybe you can start over new.
Author amythan Posted January 14, 2011 Author Posted January 14, 2011 Yes, he is coming just to see me. He just texted me to say that he stays the full w/e. Now I need to think what I want to do. At least we should talk about this ... i am not ready to jump again into the same crap and post here the week after with same rant ...
Truly Lost Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 A non-abrasive chat about where your relationship is going is definately in order. I'm sure you don't want to continue down the same path as you both have been....but sadly....this is what an LDR entails. LDRs DON'T WORK!!! It's when you two finally come to an agreement (one person moves closer to the other, or you move in together) is when someone can say their relationship survived long distance. You are serious, but you don't think he is. Actions do speak louder than words. Just be careful and consider all the signs that tell you this relationship isn't working out. It will be the difference between wasting a little bit of your time or a lot of your time. Not to mention the men you missed out on because your head was wasting time thinking about this guy instead of meeting someone new and more compatible.
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