ubetcha Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 I just wanted to get a little insight on my ex's recent text. Here's a quick background: The ex and I were living/together for 6 years. He left me 4 months ago for another woman. I was/am heartbroken. I began NC about 2 months ago and have stuck to it. He has been texting me on an average of about once a week since we broke up. This has been going on for 4 months now. I have ignored ALL texts since I began NC. (You think after ignoring someone that long they would get the hint right? He knows I wont answer!) Most of the messages are just silly things like, "How are the dogs" or "Hope all is well". Anyway, a couple days ago, he stepped it up a bit and I got one that says "I really do miss you guys" (guys meaning the dogs and I). 5 minutes later he sent a picture he had taken on his phone when we were happily together of me on my bed holding my 2 dogs. I cant believe after 4 months he even still has this pic on his phone. Im sure his new lady doesnt take very kindly to it. The following day, I got a text that said "I would really like to see the dogs". Im not sure if that is code for he wants to see me or he just really wants to see the dogs. I have maintained NC and have still not responded to anything he has sent in the past 2 months. I even moved last month and didnt tell him where I went. I got a couple texts a day later asking if I had moved. (Didnt take him long to realize I moved I guess. Maybe he is keeping closer tabs on me than I think.) I have literally just disappeared. Not sure if that is why he is stepping up the texts or not. I guess my question is, do dumpers try this hard to keep someone on the backburner even when the dumpee is unresponsive? Or did the "I miss you guys" text followed by a picture he took when we were happy mean he is trying to reach out? Is it possible the grass isn't as green as he imagined it would be? Or maybe me disappearing has confused him a bit and he is stepping up his game to get me to answer?
LifeIsGreat Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 Do you know for a fact that he is still with the OW? Sounds like he may be trying to reach out to you for potentially get back together, but like most dumpers he doesn't have the balls to come out and say it. OR, he's doing the 'crumbs' thing you will read about on LS. I have to commend you for doing a great job with NC. Ask yourself, do you have any interest in working things out with him if the OW is out of the picture?
1956peace Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 I think if you want to think about giving him another try you have to set your boundaries without them nothing would change. You have to tell him that the relationship with the OW has to be over and that he should go for some therapy himself to see what he really wants in life. Then you two put a plan together as to how you would approach the new relationship, obviously there were things wrong for him to leave you for another woman. Then take it slowly see where and what happens.......
Author ubetcha Posted January 14, 2011 Author Posted January 14, 2011 Do you know for a fact that he is still with the OW? Sounds like he may be trying to reach out to you for potentially get back together, but like most dumpers he doesn't have the balls to come out and say it. OR, he's doing the 'crumbs' thing you will read about on LS. I have to commend you for doing a great job with NC. Ask yourself, do you have any interest in working things out with him if the OW is out of the picture? From what I hear they are still together. Although for all I know they are not doing very well. I would have an interested in working things out but I refuse to even talk to him as long as he is still with her. And thank you for the congrats on NC. It is the hardest thing I have ever done but, I have to say, I feel a certain sense of power knowing that he is still 'chasing' me for lack of a better term. It makes me feel like he could actually be feeling a certain amount of regret for what he has done. Is there such a thing as holding out on NC too long? Is it possible to miss my chance for reconciliation? I guess either way, as long as he is with her, I'm not feeding into what could be a game. I see right through you ex! You can't have your cake and eat it too! Im not second best to anyone!
LifeIsGreat Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 So, if here WEREN'T with the OW, would you want him back? I'm not sure you ever answered this. If yes.... total NC may not be the way to go. At some point you would have to communicate to him and let him know what would have to happen for you guys to have another chance. Sometimes NC gets over used in my opinion.
ginastar Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 I say keep NC until the man tracks you down and has the balls to talk to ur face and tell u what he wants.
Mrlonelyone Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 I say keep NC until the man tracks you down and has the balls to talk to ur face and tell u what he wants. Would that actually work? Ever? Or would most women think that was "weird or strange"? I have to admit that I did that out of the blue once...and did get a second (or third depending on how you count) chance. But not after a chain of ignored messages. In fact after a bunch of ignored messages I would probably loose the idea that the woman was interested at all....Unless I really really had it bad for a woman. In light of that if this guy is anything like me those messages mean he really really does like you allot.
0hpenelope Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 I would've hit that delete button faster than I can blink.
durkadurka Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 To miss someone isn't enough. It's to take action that counts.
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