quietGuy13 Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 I'm talking about Looks attraction. Cause i don't have the Talking skills so i know even though some women are attracted to a guy's intelligence and talking skills, that won't be with me. Basically i look skinny and bony and i have injuries and limp. I have a little moustache and i don't shave fully. And my hair is naturally greasy even when i use shampoo it doesn't work so it shows. and i'm kinda balding. Realitstically speaking, women would not be attracted right? The reason i'm wondering and worry is because whenever i go out or go anywhere, I've never in my life seen/noticed that Women even look at me. it seems that women are not at all attracted to me. LIke if i'm attrac ted to a woman, it's obvious cause i become nervous..i look away etc. but i've never gotten any signs from women that would indicated they are attracted to me. never.
Fern Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 (edited) I'm talking about Looks attraction. Cause i don't have the Talking skills so i know even though some women are attracted to a guy's intelligence and talking skills, that won't be with me. Basically i look skinny and bony and i have injuries and limp. I have a little moustache and i don't shave fully. And my hair is naturally greasy even when i use shampoo it doesn't work so it shows. and i'm kinda balding. Realitstically speaking, women would not be attracted right? The reason i'm wondering and worry is because whenever i go out or go anywhere, I've never in my life seen/noticed that Women even look at me. it seems that women are not at all attracted to me. LIke if i'm attrac ted to a woman, it's obvious cause i become nervous..i look away etc. but i've never gotten any signs from women that would indicated they are attracted to me. never. There is someone out there for everyone. I've found that women are far more forgiving of looks than men - I've been attracted to someone because they're funny or intelligent or talented, far more than if they've classically handsome. Looks aren't a big deal really if you're a man. Your problem is this: I always see women with their female friends, like they don't really care about men ..they don't even seem attracted to men. They have fun with eachother and don't seem like they have adesire for a boyfriend. is that how women are? they have no interest in men. And lately i visited dating sites and half or more of the women say they're BI so it making me think that women really are not into men. I guess i dont understand women. can anyone tell me? Do women secretly want men too OR is the only reason why i see couples and married people because the guys were the ones that kept trying to get the girl and finally they did.? You're too desperate and you seem to view us like we're an alien species. We're just human beings - people like you are. Why not forget about romance for a while and concentrate on learning how to be FRIENDS with women first. You might find you get more interest when you let people get to know and like you and don't expect miracles at the first meeting. Slow down. Why are you in such a rush? You're coming across as desperate and needy and a bit socially inept - sorry if that sounds harsh. Work on your peole skills and stop worrying about your looks. ADDS: Attraction you feel for someone based solely on their looks is not going to lead to a fulfilling relationship - 9 times out of 10. Women are people too. Edited January 14, 2011 by Fern Adds.
LifeIsGreat Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 Ditto!! Hey listen, I'm 45 balding and a bit overweight. BUT I ain't shy, very smart, funny, blah blah blah. I was out last week for a few drinks and had a 22 yr old all over me. It wasn't because I was the sexiest dude in the place, it was because I got swagger. Do what you can about your looks, but concentrate on being the type of man a woman digs.
ConflictedGuy27 Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 the hell kind of question is this?? basically you want women to give an opinion of whether or not they'd prefer intimacy with Qazi Modo, as opposed to that of an average, ordinary looking man?? are you describing Qazi exactly as his cartoon image appears on your morning cereal box?? flip this question around, genderwise, and ask yourself the same. it's obvious... look, medical technology is excellent these days, and I'm certainly grouping plastic surgery in when I say that... talk to one. you'd improve the likelihood of being more readily accepted by women if you looked more attractive. Qazi Modo in a tux is still Qazi Modo, but at least he'd be trying. improve yourself, mate.
Author quietGuy13 Posted January 14, 2011 Author Posted January 14, 2011 "I've been attracted to someone because they're funny or intelligent or talented, far more than if they've classically handsome. " That's what i'm saying, i'm not funny intelligent nothing. SO i know i'm not gonna be liked for that. ANd i'm not a good speaker. "You're too desperate " well yes that's true. but it's cause i'm old 31. I may not have enough life left. And yes it's true that i need to learn how to be friends with women. And that's what i'm trying. I didn't say i want to be in romance. But i've been lonely all mylife so that's why i sound desperate. yes women are elike a different world to me because i've never had female friends nor female nothing. So to me, women are special. that's wrong? I never meet women in my life except for some rare times that i did manage to meet them. And yes i'm socially inept, i told you guys already. Thtas why i'm asking questions. I'm trying to work on my people skills but it's difficult, i got a HOW TO TALK TO PEOPLE and make friends book and a dating book from the library. The problem with books is they're meant for people who are good speakers already. Anyways.. i was asking if i could be considered attractive enough for people to even approach me. I don't think i am and just wanted to check. Cause nobody nobody ever aprroaches me.
Author quietGuy13 Posted January 14, 2011 Author Posted January 14, 2011 Another interesting thing is women at work , especially young my age, never approach me never look at me or talk to me. Maybe it's cause i am like a rock. whenever, i am somewhere, i don't mingle and laugh and smile and joke.. I just stare at my work and don't move..like if i'm looking at the computer i stare at it with 100 concentration and i don't say hi or nothing to people around me. I do say it if they say it and if they make eye contact with me, but they generally don't cause i'm like a rock. Are women just attracted to guys who start flirting and making jokes and such? It seems so. that sucks
Gettingtired Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 Do what you can about your looks, but concentrate on being the type of man a woman digs. Part of this yes. The bolded part no. You should be YOU not be like someone wants you to be. If a woman doesn't like you for the way you are, that's her loss/issue. I'm finally beginning to learn to please YOURSELF rather than other people. If you dont look after/out for number 1, there'll come a point where you've spent so much time trying to be something you're not, you wont even know you the real you is. You cant please everybody. As said previously, there will be someone out there for you, it's just a matter of time finding her.
oaks Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 Basically i look skinny and bony and i have injuries and limp. I have a little moustache and i don't shave fully. And my hair is naturally greasy even when i use shampoo it doesn't work so it shows. and i'm kinda balding. Going by your physical description: Skinny and bony isn't necessarily unattractive, but there are degrees of skinniness. Are you underweight for your height? Would a different diet or exercise change how skinny you are? What you wear could make a difference to your appearance as some styles look better on certain body shapes. Injuries and a limp could be a turn-off for some people, unfortunately. If these are treatable then that could be an option, or if not then consider getting professional advice about living with a disability even if it's "only" a limp. Having a positive attitude ("I won't let this stop me.") might help, rather than looking to this as a reason for failing to get the girls. You say you have a moustache and don't shave fully. This sounds like a personal preference on your part. If you're happy with how that makes you look then stick with it, if not then shave differently. Some women prefer facial hair and some don't. Are you using a shampoo specially for greasy hair and are you washing your hair every day? I don't understand how shampoo "doesn't work" (perhaps my lack of experience in this area) but perhaps talk to a pharmacist about options for this. Would cutting your hair differently make any difference? Don't worry about balding, but of course there are lots of people who will take your money for treatments or things to cover the top of your head. Some women don't like balding men, and some don't have a problem with it. So, not everyone will find you attractive... but then not everyone finds Brad Pitt attractive either. Some things you may be able to change, and some things you may just need to change the way you think about them. Being confident and having a positive attitude goes a long way.
oaks Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 I never meet women in my life except for some rare times that i did manage to meet them. It doesn't matter what you look like if you aren't even meeting any women! Can you think of ways to change this? I mean, are there different activities you can do that might lead to meeting more women? Perhaps you have a hobby or interest and you could join a club where you might meet other people with the same interest?
SteveC80 Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 Go for hideous looking women first with no options,regardless of the fluff cliches people are giving you here looks matter allot
bac Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 "I've been attracted to someone because they're funny or intelligent or talented, far more than if they've classically handsome. " That's what i'm saying, i'm not funny intelligent nothing. SO i know i'm not gonna be liked for that. ANd i'm not a good speaker. "You're too desperate " well yes that's true. but it's cause i'm old 31. I may not have enough life left. And yes it's true that i need to learn how to be friends with women. And that's what i'm trying. I didn't say i want to be in romance. But i've been lonely all mylife so that's why i sound desperate. yes women are elike a different world to me because i've never had female friends nor female nothing. So to me, women are special. that's wrong? I never meet women in my life except for some rare times that i did manage to meet them. And yes i'm socially inept, i told you guys already. Thtas why i'm asking questions. I'm trying to work on my people skills but it's difficult, i got a HOW TO TALK TO PEOPLE and make friends book and a dating book from the library. The problem with books is they're meant for people who are good speakers already. Anyways.. i was asking if i could be considered attractive enough for people to even approach me. I don't think i am and just wanted to check. Cause nobody nobody ever aprroaches me. You might try to attract women with money.
Author quietGuy13 Posted January 15, 2011 Author Posted January 15, 2011 It doesn't matter what you look like if you aren't even meeting any women! Can you think of ways to change this? I mean, are there different activities you can do that might lead to meeting more women? Perhaps you have a hobby or interest and you could join a club where you might meet other people with the same interest? Thanks all. Yeah i want to change it. But the thing that .........gosh i dont know the word......the thing that keeps me from even wanting to try is the fact that at work i'm around women and they all think i'm weird so.....if i go to some activity it will probably be the same just like it was when i went to dance lessons in 2007. that is: they were all great speakers and after class they would get together talk and talk fluently. I dont talk fluently cause i'm really slow with a speaking problem so it just feels bad , i know they would see me as weird. But i'm gonna try something soon. The other day i looked at the activities in the newspaper. THere was nothing much though. -Meditation class -Alcoholic anonymous group -Sex addicts anonymous groups -Line dancing -Salsa dancing -Tango dancing etc I'm pretty injured right now because i can't move because of my spine problem and rib dislocation so dancing is out of the question. and why would i go to those support groups, they're not for me. In the newspaper they usually have those kind of things and lecutures about something. but i dont see that helping me meet girls/friends. What else could i try?
ConflictedGuy27 Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 baby steps, my friend. you may want to focus on your recovery and in the interim, hone your communication skills by chatting & making friends online; men & women. some of that success may be universally applied offline.
Eeyore79 Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 Drama group, evening class, volunteer work of some kind, online dating?
waynebrady Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 Women aren't attracted to men... at all. It's not in the female nature to be attracted to men. A woman getting attracted to a man is about as likely as a cat getting attracted to a spider. Just ain't gonna happen.
ConflictedGuy27 Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 Women aren't attracted to men... at all. It's not in the female nature to be attracted to men. A woman getting attracted to a man is about as likely as a cat getting attracted to a spider. Just ain't gonna happen. ...[♪ crickets ♪]...
LifeIsGreat Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 Part of this yes. The bolded part no. You should be YOU not be like someone wants you to be. If a woman doesn't like you for the way you are, that's her loss/issue. I'm finally beginning to learn to please YOURSELF rather than other people. If you dont look after/out for number 1, there'll come a point where you've spent so much time trying to be something you're not, you wont even know you the real you is. You cant please everybody. As said previously, there will be someone out there for you, it's just a matter of time finding her. I agree with you. BUT, this guy has made it clear that he isn't super satisfied with who he is. If you aren't satisfied with yourself, you can't expect women to dig you. He needs to find himself. He needs to determine what kind of man he really wants to be, and then become that man.
Recommended Posts