is2008 Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 hey all. only my second post but me and my ex were in an LDR for 7 years. we recently split up because she basically stopped showing affection and giving our relationship the attention it deserved. we would agree certain times to talk, and she'd never turn up, i'd call her and call her to wake her up but she wouldn't wake up. it ended up hurting my feelings a lot and she never apologised for it. i therefore needed even more affection to make up for the affection i never got. it has really dented my confidence and trust in her. i still want to be with her but she told me that we weren't getting back together. she seems to be really indepedent nowadays and pretty much doesn't have time for me/a relationship anymore. she's told me to move on as well. any suggestions?
LifeIsGreat Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 Yep.... move on!! When an ex tells you that show some respect and do it.
Gettingtired Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 I wouldn't say too needy. Just wanting what you want from a relationship. I hate to say it, but I think she's lost interest or has found someone else closer to home. Just let her go and find someone that can give you what you want/need.
Leandro Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 Maybe a little little little bit. My ex said i was needy too, but everyone else said it was the other way around. I don't think I was needy at all. She told you to move on? It's over for good man. She down with it and may have found someone else at home. That would explain why she wasn't answering the phone in the morning and never apologized for it.
cerridwen Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 Have needs isn't the same as being needy, so no, you weren't needy.
Author is2008 Posted January 14, 2011 Author Posted January 14, 2011 thank you all for your replies. i guess i've just got to forget about her as hard as it is. been taking st johns wort in the hope it'll lift the anxiety/mild depression i'm currently going through with the breakup. i'm the sort of guy that would really struggle to be friends with an ex, just too many feelings and emotions that would come up. it's got to be good bye then even though i used to adore everything she was. i like some, have been living a lie, just staying with someone when clearly they'd changed.
cerridwen Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 is2008, 7 years is a long time so expect some uncomfortability as you adjust to things being over. What I'm thinking about specifically is habits related to the relationship. I don't want to take the focus off you but I need to use me for as an example because words are failing: I had a LDR. We would constantly text. When it was over, I missed not only him but also just the constant contact with someone. I missed expressing my thoughts throughout the day. That's why I began posting on LS. My point is, be aware of making adjustments to your habits. Try to find alternate outlets for them so you're not as uncomfortable as you transition out of this relationship. Best to you.
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