Stradman30 Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 Girl dumped me out of the blue. Trying to move on but having a really hard time. My ex gf and I dated for 2 years and I was her everything. She had moved from another state, was pretty shy, and attended my high school and I took her under my wing and showed her fun things to do around town. It then evolved into a relationship from there. She wasn't only my gf but she was my best friend. I loved her like crazy..We spent tons of time together, and when ever we weren't together we text messaged. We spoke every night on the phone about our day and to say goodnight. I treated her so well and we had an amazing relationship until the start of this year. We attend the same college in the same town as the high school we attended. Im a college sophomore and I moved her (a college freshman) into her dorm at the start of the year. A week went by and we spent a lot of time together moving her in, showing her around school, etc. The first weekend of school she wasn't feeling very good so I spent the night with her in her dorm and we watched a movie and just took it easy. I kissed her goodnight and walked back home. The next morning at 6 am I get a text that says "we cant be together anymore" from her. This was all without warning and I was super confused. I called her and asked her "why" and I was an absolute mess. She told me she was busy all day and couldn't meet up to talk about it until that night. So the whole day I was freaking out about what I could have done blah blah blah. So that night I go and meet with her and she says "I can't be with you because I need to find out who I am and I need to be alone to do that. You have been an amazing bf and I still love you a lot. But I just cant be with you anymore." So....I was just confused again by her reasoning..and I went home, respected her wish, and gave her her space..she texted me and then wouldn't respond back for longer and longer as the conversations would progress. Then she wouldn't answer any of my calls. I was getting info from other people that she says she sees absolutely no future back together with me but she still loves me a ton. I was so confused from everything and then, after about 3 weeks, I get a call from a girl I have never really talked to. And she says to me that my ex was hooking up with her bf and that she just found out about it and thought I deserved to know. I was sad and upset so I went down to my ex's dorm and confronted her and got her to spit out the truth. She confessed she was doing that stuff and that the guy said he was single to her blah blah blah. She said it wasn't right of her to do because she wasn't fully over me and still had very strong feelings for me. She cried to me and apologized and I just said "ok, you still have a lot to figure out about yourself" and left. she started sending texts about being sorry and stuff. I kept saying ok, its fine. but I ignored her after saying it once and then went into no contact because she wasn't making the additional effort of wanting me back or even trying to save the relationship on a friend level. I didn't understand her intentions at all by saying sorry a million times. She was a pretty straight laced girl through our relationship. Never smoked, and drank very little and as soon as she was single she started hanging with a new group. she started smoking a lot and drinking a lot. I blocked her on fb and deleted her number but after 3 weeks of no contact I found out from a friend that she got a new bf. Her new boyfriend doesn't compare to myself and is a stoner type of guy. They seem pretty low key, they have mutual friends, and she met him right after I stopped talking to her so she hadn't known him previously. I still have not spoken with her. I never confronted her about her new relationship and don't plan on it. She has my belongings and hasn't tried to return them and the only thing i've heard from her since her new relationship was a text the day after christmas saying "Im so sorry, I treated you like **** l hope you had a nice christmas. And that if you don't respond I'll leave you alone for good. Sorry, again".. Its been about 3 weeks since then and haven't heard a word from her. They were official a few days before winter break. She's been with this guy for a month and a half but they didn't see each other for more than a few days over winter break which was almost month long. I have no idea about how far they've gone sexually, how serious it is (it seems low key), and how much they hang out. I know nothing and I don't want to know the details really. I just don't understand how she could do all this to me and jump right into a new relationship so fast?..... I am still in no contact but think of/miss her everyday. Im in counseling, and have just been going about my life trying my hardest to move on. Im keeping busy, hanging with friends , and having fun, but she's constantly on my mind. I see her sometimes at school but never with her bf. I also see him sometimes at school but never with her. I just wonder if she'll ever come crawling back and realize how great I was to her or if she'll never talk to me again? She just seems insecure but I try not worry about her and just focus on myself. What should I do? Continue NC? Do you think she'll ever come to her senses?... I have kept telling myself if she truly loves me she'll be back and if not then it was for the best but she's constantly in my mind.
500daysofsummer Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 join the club man, gotta stay strong with NC
BlindRage Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 Look at how many of us sit here with our broken hearts thinking, "will they come to their senses and see how others suck but not me?". Guess what buddy? We are still here and them out and about.
Author Stradman30 Posted January 14, 2011 Author Posted January 14, 2011 So you guys think for my situation NC is the way to go and just keep sticking to it and things will work out or what?
BlindRage Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 What I'm saying is NC is so you can start mending your broken heart, its not so your ex can want you back, don't expect it.
selena_cat Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 Hey! Sorry about your situation,however you will hear alot about NC. No contact,best to google it on your own,its hard. I know,however,when someone cuts us offf,say they no longer want the relationship. You have to walk away though it hurts,and you cant blame yourself. Some people get scared when relationships get serious,sounds like that in her case. Be strong,talk to close friends,try to be around people. That shouldnt be hard you seem like a easygoing fella!
Author Stradman30 Posted January 14, 2011 Author Posted January 14, 2011 She came up to me in the library today and said "your alive?" and I said yeah and she said "how r u?" and I said I was doing good. And she said "are you sure?" I said I was sure and that was the extent of the convo and then she left. Who knows what will happen next. she left her bf's side to come to talk to me which was kinda weird. I can tell she still feels like crap but she just left and I didn't chase. Im not expecting a text or anything but we'll see. just kind of weird. I was lookin' good too and she was pretty timid. so we'll see what happens next.
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