LoveGirl18 Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 I've been in a LDR for a year and six months now. Everything was going fantastic in the beginning of our relationship up until things started cooling off. I fell into depression because of it. I was missing the rush and excitement of the relationship. I knew I wasn't getting it back. Well I became unhappy. Everything was a blur. I didn't know if I wanted to be with him anymore. I started focusing on all his flaws. I wasn't very attracted to him and I wanted to leave. I remember not feeling in love and I remember thinking, "This doesn't feel special. A relationship shouldn't feel like this". I didn't enjoy anything. I felt like I was getting nothing out of the relationship. It felt like torture. Even when we had sex it didn't feel special. My boyfriend was heartbroken. Eventually everything died down and I accepted things. I realized that being in a relationship with someone wasn't going to always be beautiful. I started to see the good in him. Basically I changed my perception of love. Eventually I began feeling butterflies and realized the "lovey" feeling popped in unexpectedly sometimes. I felt content with the relationship. We're both still in school. We see each other every break we have. But ever since my depression early on, he's been a totally different person. He tried leaving me multiple times. I've realized he's suddenly losing all the rush and excitement like I did early on. He says being with me doesn't feel special. He says he doesn't feel happy and that sex doesn't feel special either. He said he doesn't feel like he is in love with me. Some days he is a totally different person again. He says how he doesn't know what he would do without me and that he wants to marry me. He says his life would feel empty and lonely. I ask him where all of this comes from and he tells me he doesn't know. I keep telling him this is a test and it will pass because I've been through this. He says the long distance is putting a strain on all his feelings. He says he doesn't want to be with me. I keep telling him we'll be together permanently after high school. Some days he is so excited for it and he can't wait. He says we'll be so happy. I told him to focus on that but he says it's hard. I tell him that I am going through this too and he has to be strong for this relationship. We'll be together in a year permanently. Today he was completely selfish. He didn't seem to care that I was in tears and hurting. He said he'll never be happy. He wants someone to make him happy. He tell me I'm amazing and that there is nothing wrong with me. He's just not happy. I told him that he can't rely on me making him happy. He has to bring the happiness to the relationship. He just doesn't understand that. He's acting so immature about it. The thing is, I've imagined being with me since day one. I imagine sharing my life with him. It honestly feels like he is the one for me even through all the I've been through. He's told me he's felt like that too but it goes away. I don't understand anymore. Right now I decided to leave him alone for a while. He says he loves me and cares for me, he doesn't want me out of his life, yet I feel so pushed away. One day he'll tell me one thing and another day he'll tell me a different thing. It's heartbreaking. I've been through this so I know what he's going through. He's just giving up to easily. I need help. How can I fix this? I don't want to leave this. I'd rather fix this. I want to get him to be happy again.
madjac74 Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 He is likely trying to push you away because he still carries that hurt with him and is afraid to invest anymore emotion into the relationship because of that. Male pride sometimes works like that. I've tried it myself and it doesnt work. You guys obviously care about each other because you are still talking and trying
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