sockmonkey608 Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Where to start! I've been with my H for a total of 14years, 8 of which we've been married. Although we have dealt with all of his girl drama off & on almost our entire relationship, I never had any proof of his infidelity till 3 months ago. You know how it goes...he leaves his email open by accident & I find what I've been looking for. You see I've always had intuition that things were going on & when I'd catch him in lies over the years he'd always come up with great stories & I never had hard proof to be able to do anything about it until Sept. So I find out he had an affair with a mutal friend of ours (also married) & supposedly only slept with her 2 or 3 times. That whole situation is really messed up & it hurts me beyond belief but what I found out through another email crushed me more then I could ever imagine. He also had an affair for 7years with different girl. So 5 of the 8 years we have been married he was having a long term affair. I can't even describe the pain I feel in my heart every single day. Of course we had a knock out drag out but he was the most honest he has ever been to me, answering all my questions & trying to console me. But anytime a asked him the hard questions like why did you let it go on that long ect. he answers with "I don't know". What kind of answer is that? How do you NOT know why you did something? Even if it was the stupidest reason you still know why. She found him on a website in june & they exchanged numbers & "caught up" supposedly but then I found out they were still emailing & calling each other after he told me it would end. Her email stated that she thought of him often over the past few years & wanted to marry him so they could screw every day & how proud she was that they had gotten away with it for 7years without her husband knowing anything about it. From what I could tell from her last few emails he never responded with any feelings or commented on her love of him. But that doesnt mean much. I truly think he is trying to fix things now but I don't know how to feel. I hate him, I love him & severely hurt. I told him he needs counseling he hasn't gone yet. But I need some type of advice for dealing with long term affairs & how you get over the hurt/pain whether you stay or go.
Linda9999 Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 It's common for them to say they don't know. They really DON'T know why they did what they did. It's called 'the fog'. Have you found the forum called 'Surviving Infidelity' yet? The steps you need to take now are in their reading. Don't make any decisions right away, see what he does from now on, get yourself into some counseling, and then make your decision.
Author sockmonkey608 Posted January 13, 2011 Author Posted January 13, 2011 Thank you so much Linda9999. I will definetly be looking for that forum.
Recommended Posts