e.clipse Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 i've been (kind of, sort of) dating this guy for about 4 months now. i think. something like that. anyway, for about 4 months, we have been casually seeing each other, going on some pretty laid-back dates and just hanging out. the communication was pretty intense, at first. we racked up some 2,000+ texts during the first month of getting to know each other. they have subsequently dropped to about 10 a day. to be fair, we now chat on the phone every night when we do not see each other for about two hours each time. always about nothing. we see each other about twice a week; once during the week and once on the weekend. we have not had sex with each other yet, though we both want to. i suppose it is part of the "let's take it slow" idea that was silently established. that i know of--not that he has explicitly expressed--he is not seeing anyone else. neither am i. i write the above because i am so inept and inexperienced at dating, that i don't even know what the above classifies as. anyway, he is moving out of his place in a couple of days. he is moving in with two roomates, to their place. we didn't really talk much about this, and i didn't ask who or anything. i suppose i figured it would be these two guys he is always with, but that is apparently not the case. last night, he called me while he was really wasted. we talked for some time until, eventually, the subject of friends and hooking up with friends came up. here, he let me know that one of the roomates he is moving in with--a girl--is a girl that he used to hook up with "a lot" whenever he wasn't in a relationship. he followed it up with saying that now they are just close. i don't even know what that means. and well, it's been 12 hours since he told me this, and i am still thinking about it. i mean, it's fine if he moved in with two chicks or three or whatever, but it's the fact that they both have a history of having sex with each other that kind of bothers me. ew, god, now if/when i see her, i am only going to think of them ****ing. but perhaps i am being crazy and am overreacting. am i?
Jazzari Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 It's probably fine, but I feel for you. It would bother me too.
GivenUp0083 Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 i've been (kind of, sort of) dating this guy for about 4 months now. i think. something like that. anyway, for about 4 months, we have been casually seeing each other, going on some pretty laid-back dates and just hanging out. the communication was pretty intense, at first. we racked up some 2,000+ texts during the first month of getting to know each other. they have subsequently dropped to about 10 a day. to be fair, we now chat on the phone every night when we do not see each other for about two hours each time. always about nothing. we see each other about twice a week; once during the week and once on the weekend. we have not had sex with each other yet, though we both want to. i suppose it is part of the "let's take it slow" idea that was silently established. that i know of--not that he has explicitly expressed--he is not seeing anyone else. neither am i. i write the above because i am so inept and inexperienced at dating, that i don't even know what the above classifies as. anyway, he is moving out of his place in a couple of days. he is moving in with two roomates, to their place. we didn't really talk much about this, and i didn't ask who or anything. i suppose i figured it would be these two guys he is always with, but that is apparently not the case. last night, he called me while he was really wasted. we talked for some time until, eventually, the subject of friends and hooking up with friends came up. here, he let me know that one of the roomates he is moving in with--a girl--is a girl that he used to hook up with "a lot" whenever he wasn't in a relationship. he followed it up with saying that now they are just close. i don't even know what that means. and well, it's been 12 hours since he told me this, and i am still thinking about it. i mean, it's fine if he moved in with two chicks or three or whatever, but it's the fact that they both have a history of having sex with each other that kind of bothers me. ew, god, now if/when i see her, i am only going to think of them ****ing. but perhaps i am being crazy and am overreacting. am i? You've been dating 4 months and no LTR established? I feel like that's a long time. He was probably just trying to be honest about the other girl as so you didn't find out through a friend and then come screaming to him when you found out and asking why he didn't tell you. I'm sure it sucks for you, but you have to ask yourself if you can live with this. If he's not your boyfriend, you really don't have a leg to stand on if something were to happen with him and her again (not that it would). It's a great reason to have that talk with him about where you two are going, and if he wants you in his life then he needs to realize how you feel about his new living situation. Otherwise it'll come out passive aggressively or subconsciously and it'll ruin whatever kind of relationship you have.
Jynxx Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 If it's been 4 months and you didn't have sex yet and he's still with you and hasn't had anyone else in that time then the guy's a ****ing saint and deserves a medal.
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