Nexus One Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 Just tell him you can't see him and you've decided to take a break from dating. That would only be convincing to him if she took down her online dating profile too.
Author daphne Posted April 16, 2011 Author Posted April 16, 2011 I am a huge fan of dating breaks. In fact, I had one for 4 years. On my last dating break that lasted 4 months, I rewarded myself with a trip to Europe. I rang in the New Year in Berlin. I had a fear of flying so I hadn't gone to Europe in 15 years, but I faced my fears and flew over. It was incredible to push myself and succeed. The trip helped me win my boyfriend. I had met him at a group function and was talking about my trip. He said that he became attracted to me because he thought I was intelligent and independent. He asked me out for coffee and I didn't take it seriously because he was so much younger than me. But I said yes and I am glad I did. We have been in a good, loving relationship for 3 months. And still going strong. I don't know what your romantic "meet cute" story will be. But I hazard to guess that it will be incredible. I think that's where the cliche "love will come when you least expect it." You can't plot and plan your love story. A lot of it happens by luck and coincidence. I'm going to Italy next month. I'm looking forward to getting away. I'm not looking forward to the dreaded ass pinch I keep hearing about. Had I known about this phenomenon, I think I might have chosen elsewhere. But I can't wait to see the Amalfi Coast and Capri. WOOHOO! No disrespect intended, but that cliche is what has kept me single for years. No one is going to ring my doorbell to ask me out. If you think about it, you weren't at the group function thinking there was no way you were going to meet someone. You do have to put yourself out there. Even if it's exhausting and gets old. Really, really old. Just tell him you can't see him and you've decided to take a break from dating. I really hate being a flake. I just don't like it that I feel manipulated into the date to begin with. I'm wholly uninterested in this guy. He is manipulative and I do not like his vibe. So why am I going? Because I have integrity or because I don't want to hurt his feelings. If I were honest, I'd recognize there no where in teh integrity book does it say that if you realize you are uninterested in someone are you lacking integrity by breaking a date. Oy!
Author daphne Posted April 16, 2011 Author Posted April 16, 2011 That would only be convincing to him if she took down her online dating profile too. I am. It runs out shortly.
Author daphne Posted April 16, 2011 Author Posted April 16, 2011 I'm in all kinds of emotional tangle right now. I've been sick and I think being run down has affected my ability to think logically and remain upbeat. I saw widower last night. I have mostly avoided our common meeting place after realizing that I can't possibly get involved with someone who's in that much pain. I was feeling ill and I was somewhat pushing him away. I don't want to flirt with him anymore when it'll go nowhere and could end up hurting his feelings. It became awkward, which sucks cos we're both fairly warm people and now it's turned cold. And I think I pushed the Scot away too. Whereas I was open to seeing where it went, I had reservations openly expressed about his 6 weeks of breakup from his ex. I put up quite a few barriers. He had an answer for each. He was trying to convince. Yet, he's the one who didn't call. I honestly don't get it. My gf who is getting married in June met her fiance when he was seperated for 6 weeks. Who am I to say that it doesn't work? I don't know. I am thinking too much. Maybe I should just go back to bed and not get up til I feel better.
Eddie Edirol Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 I really hate being a flake. I just don't like it that I feel manipulated into the date to begin with. I'm wholly uninterested in this guy. He is manipulative and I do not like his vibe. So why am I going? Because I have integrity or because I don't want to hurt his feelings. If I were honest, I'd recognize there no where in teh integrity book does it say that if you realize you are uninterested in someone are you lacking integrity by breaking a date. Oy! Sounds to me like you care more about looking like a flake than this guys feelings. You realize that if you go out with this guy me might think you like him and try things, and then when you finally tell him youre not interested, you'll look like a flake anyway. Hell ask "Why did you go out with me for?" Im sure you dont REALLY care about his feelings, hes a grown man. Hes not banking all of his dating life on you, you wont hurt his feelings. If youre not feeling the guy, cancel the date, tell him you dont like him because hes manipulative, and forget about him.
Cee Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 I understand Daphne. What I mean about love coming unexpectedly is that when we do fall in love, it's a shock. It's a blessing and we can't believe it happened. One day I'm thinking "forever alone" and the next week, I'm dating an amazing guy. I have never been a wall flower with dating. I am alert and show interest, but it's still unexpected. I don't really know who my mate will be. It's as much up to him as me. So I am always delighted and surprised when a man likes me back. That's the unexpected part. Part of the magic of the love search is you don't have that much control. You aren't completely in charge. And that's what makes it great. A man will pick you and he will see things you hadn't seen in yourself. And you will see things in him that he doesn't know are there.
oaks Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 Maybe I should just go back to bed and not get up til I feel better. Always a good idea on a Saturday.
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