hensley258 Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 I don't know whats best. My cheating wife that left me with a ton of joint account bills to pay including the house and equity loan has no intention of paying for half her share. She is cozy living debt free with her new man in their cheap apartment while I sink in bills we once shared. As for our only daughter I have her more days and nights that she does because she wants her free time to be with OM. The wife (who I call cheating bitch) wants to get just one Lawar to do an agreeable divorce, but that one Lawar by law must still represent one party and they may say they will be even, but you never know. On top of all my time with my daughter and my wifes equal income she wants child support! The house can't sell because it is worth 30K less than market value. I can't do a refi to get her off the loan because my credit score is too Low. They have a team here called Cordell and Cordell that that are experts at reprisenting only Men and their right to their children and the financial means to do so. From what I hear they are every Cheating Bitches worst nightmare and attornys hate going up against them. Should I go ballls out and just let the bodies hit the floor on this now? She demands more by the day.
PegNosePete Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 The wife (who I call cheating bitch) wants to get just one Lawar to do an agreeable divorce, but that one Lawar by law must still represent one party and they may say they will be even, but you never know. Lawar is a town in India... I assume you mean lawyer? One lawyer cannot represent both parties because it is a conflict of interests. They either represent you and she acts for herself, or vice versa, or you both get your own. Plus your divorce doesn't sound very agreeable, form the other things you've written! The house can't sell because it is worth 30K less than market value. This doesn't make much sense; a house's "worth" is the same as its "market value". A house is only worth what someone will pay for it. It has no intrinsic value other than the cost of the land plus bricks. They have a team here called Cordell and Cordell that that are experts at reprisenting only Men and their right to their children and the financial means to do so. From what I hear they are every Cheating Bitches worst nightmare and attornys hate going up against them. Should I go ballls out and just let the bodies hit the floor on this now? She demands more by the day. Yes. Shock and awe my friend, shock and awe.
You Go Girl Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 There's too many details that we don't know, and we're not lawyers anyway. Yes, there's a "Y" in the word lawyer. First consultations with attorneys are free, you usually get at least 45 minutes. Why don't you talk to several? Not just one, because remember they are all looking at you as $ signs, and you need an assessment of probable outcome, not be lured in by greed. Maybe your bank will let you do a short sale. If you want to keep the house, she isn't going to agree to still being responsible for its debt. How old is your daughter? Could she live with you half-time and still get on the schoolbus? There are some arrangements in which neither parent receives child support if it is half-time. However this has nothing to do with that she makes equal to you. Child support is just that, money for the child, and the parent who has the most time with the child will receive it.
donnamaybe Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 First, I would quietly go about getting affidavits of the time spent with your child from anyone and everyone who has first hand knowledge. If you have assumed the responsibilities of school issues, doctor, dentist, etc. that should also be documented. If you are going to have custody, you should have it on paper and YOU should get support. As for the rest, bills and such, you should look at whatever equity you have in the home and whatever value you have in your car(s) and compare your assets it to your debt and see where everything pans out. If you have a lot of assets compared to debt, it may be easier to just have her do a quit claim deed for the property and split the car(s) somehow. If, however, you have a lot of debt compared to what equity you own in your house, then yes - get a lawyer and have things split. There is no reason you should be left with the brunt of the debt.
carhill Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 My advice in your case would be to, via referral, interview a number of the best matrimonial lawyers in your area. Ask around. Plenty of people have been divorced and common names will come up. By doing so, you eliminate those lawyers as potential representatives of your wife. It's a great strategy and it costs nothing generally. Then, do an aggressive filing. Over the top. To the limit of the law. As another poster put is, shock and awe. In our jurisdiction, the respondent has 30 days to figure out a response and present it to the court. That'll keep her busy, especially when she starts calling around and all those good lawyers can't take her case.
starting2wakeup Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 My advice in your case would be to, via referral, interview a number of the best matrimonial lawyers in your area. Ask around. Plenty of people have been divorced and common names will come up. By doing so, you eliminate those lawyers as potential representatives of your wife. It's a great strategy and it costs nothing generally. Then, do an aggressive filing. Over the top. To the limit of the law. As another poster put is, shock and awe. In our jurisdiction, the respondent has 30 days to figure out a response and present it to the court. That'll keep her busy, especially when she starts calling around and all those good lawyers can't take her case. Quoted for truth! hensley258, carhill's advice is spot on. The minute my wife mentioned a separation I sought out a lawyer. Actually I went and spoke to the lawyer who represented my W's mother in her divorce, as in her situation she was the one who came out on top. I knew this would anger my W but more importantly, I knew he was a damn good lawyer and that's what you need. Throughout my separation (coming up on 6 months) I have made good decisions and bad decisions. Finding a good lawyer early on is probably THE best decision I have made to date.
2.50 a gallon Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Heed the advice of the previous posters and get your own lawyer I Googled Tennessee divorce laws, and from my understanding you can file a Fault divorce under adultery. Check it out, that might throw lots of weight in your favor. Maybe no alimony? Hopefully you are journaling all contacts with the STBXW. Also tread carefully when you interact with her, this is war! And WW have been known to call the police and file false reports of abuse, the next thing you know you are in the pokey and she is getting everything in her favor
carhill Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 I seriously doubt (but could be wrong) that the OP has the resources to see a fault divorce to fruition. Legal expenses will kill him. A meeting with a lawyer and financial adviser (to assess risks/rewards) would be a relatively cheap investment though, if such an action is contemplated. I recall Sara Evans suing her now ex-husband in Tennessee under their fault statutes and it got pretty messy and in public. She could afford it
fltc Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 One lawyer cannot represent both parties because it is a conflict of interests. But a divorce can work well with one lawyer, mine did. He mostly acted as a referee as we discussed settlement and, most importantly, kept us posted on what a judge would and would not allow so when we filed the judge agreed to the settlement w/o either of us having to appear in court. If the OP can't work out an agreement, the single lawyer is probably the best approach to act as a mediator, if that doesn't work then both sides should have an attorney but it's important to know that in many states the divorce settlements are so rigid controlled by law that there's very little to fight about...
Author hensley258 Posted January 14, 2011 Author Posted January 14, 2011 My advice in your case would be to, via referral, interview a number of the best matrimonial lawyers in your area. Ask around. Plenty of people have been divorced and common names will come up. By doing so, you eliminate those lawyers as potential representatives of your wife. It's a great strategy and it costs nothing generally. Then, do an aggressive filing. Over the top. To the limit of the law. As another poster put is, shock and awe. In our jurisdiction, the respondent has 30 days to figure out a response and present it to the court. That'll keep her busy, especially when she starts calling around and all those good lawyers can't take her case. Yea I already spent a couple day researching Lawyers. This one called Cordell and Cordell keeps getting great reports from men that have used them. They only represent Men and only practice divorce. From what I have read they are the last Law firm a Woman wants a man to hire because they so so expert and specalized at what they do. They cost a bit more than your average joe, but this is my daughter were talking about. My wifes OM is also a pot head and now has her smoking weed all the time. When I pick up my daughter I can smell it it that nasty little 500 SF apartment. So now I have my 9 year old baby girl around pot heads and can't do **** about it. I live next to her school. My wife just drives 30 minutes to drop her off when she has her (which she is late most often) I can prove her infedelity, but I don't think the courts give a **** about that. One guy said homes have no value......Oh you best believe they do buddie. When you have several brand new homes next to you that are 1000 SF larger than yours and updated and they are up for sale for 30K less than your home then you do the math. Can I sell you some swamp land in FL? My house apprasal is for 118K and I owe 130K plus a 6K home equity loan on this house. Just do the math. Short sale.......Bank says no and I already tried. The banks must approve a short sale and when you have no equity in a home it's no way sucker. I don't care what the odds are, damn it I really am the better parent living in a better home for my daughter so I am shooting for full custody. I don't care how much I have to spend. I want full custody and no one is going to tell me a father can't get it and that it's a waste of time. I will do it for my daughter. My wife still thinks I am going to play dead so she doesn't want attornys involved. This means I can draw first blood on that cheating bitch pot head. Come out fast and make her play catch up. I already have been saving a ton of documentation just in case they need it. Gotta give them the ammo.
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