bolase Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 I ask out of curiousity. I dated this guy recently for a couple of months. He told me about his past, mentioning that over the last 3 years involving 2 relationships, he had continued to be in love with this other girl. Eventually at the end of the second relationship (6 months ago), he asked out the girl he was in love with, and she said no. She subsequently left the country for good, and he said that's good timing for OUR relationship as she was out of the picture (our thing is now pretty much abandoned, as I left the country for good too:confused:) They post on each other facebook walls, and according to him are really good friends. While I really like this guy and would've loved to have longer with him: would he ever really get over being in LOVE for 3 years with the girl who turned him down? According to him, its the most grating thing that happened to him with a girl including breakups. Do you have any stories?
utterer of lies Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Do you ever get over a girl you're in unrequited love with? Yes, of course, but it might take a few months or years. And she'll always be something special.
somedude81 Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 I'm a little fuzzy with the numbers but I've gotten over about 15 unrequited loves over the past 16 years. BTW, just to make things clear, too me, an unrequited love is a strong crush or infatuation on somebody who does not return the affection. I still remember every one of their names and the basics of what they looked like and who they were. There are a few girls who still make me sad when I think about them. Right now I'm trying to get over somebody I had an unrequited love with. I haven't seen or spoken to her in a month. Unfortunately if I want to go to the Japan club at my school, I'm going to be around her again. I'll need to keep my distance from her. A while ago I told her I couldn't be her friend anymore, so hopefully she'll know to not approach me.
carhill Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Yes, but it took psychological therapy. Time elapsed - 24 years, 5 months. Most significant past NC - 14 years, 2 months. Current NC - 1 year, 4 months
Bookworm123 Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 If we're looking at unrequited love as a strong crush or infatuation as somedude81 mentioned, then I agree, a guy will eventually get over the girl. However, I don't think a man can get over a woman that they truly loved. He may not think of her every day, or even every year, but he'll inevitably remember and reminisce. He'll remember a crush and think of her for a second if he hears her favorite song on the radio, but hearing the favorite song of the girl he truly loved will cause him to remember all the great times and what might have been. Luckily, there's not too many women in a man's life that will fall into the true love category. Not sure what's going on with your ex though. He sounds like he's still infatuated with his ex, which isn't really the same as guys never forgetting their former loves. He sounds more like a guy with too much access (Facebook) to a former girlfriend and he can't get over her.
FreeNow Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 Only one and it wasn't, by definition, unrequited. We dated and privately exchanged vows (young love) as we were to lawfully wed within that year. She broke up with me before the wedding. That's the only person I haven't been able to completely leave behind in my heart or mind. I've had marriages since and even raised a family. Not too terribly long ago, we had a chance to reconnect. We spoke a bit (interestingly enough, she never married but was finishing up raising her own family). I backed away from getting involved again with her. She hadn't changed one bit in these past decades. I mean... she never grew up and I could still predict practically everything she was going to do before she knew she was going to do it. I'd grown far beyond where she was at; a complete mismatch that on the surface appeared like a perfect fit. It never would work so with even more therapy and time, I'll re-frame my thoughts and feelings about 'that one'. So, I'd answer the question with "Yes, people do get over it... but I haven't completely as of yet."
OceanGirl Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 I am girl and I fully got over all my unrequited loves (there have been 3 and each lasted for years). I got over them to the point of thinking UGH WTF did I ever see in him?
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