Saxis Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 And that's a terrible place for a man to be; always in pursuit of her love. Why? It's the natural process of 99% of the other living creatures on the planet.
carhill Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 And that's a terrible place for a man to be; always in pursuit of her love. Perhaps, and that's why smart men leave their women perpetually in pursuit of their emotional availability, not to be confused with their love and companionship. I didn't get that memo. Oops
waynebrady Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 And that's a terrible place for a man to be; always in pursuit of her love. I agree. It would be better if women loved the man as much as the man loves the woman. But they are just not capable of doing so. Women are not very "loving" creatures. It's not in the female nature to even like men, never mind love them.
denise_xo Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 I agree. It would be better if women loved the man as much as the man loves the woman. But they are just not capable of doing so. Women are not very "loving" creatures. It's not in the female nature to even like men, never mind love them. Well, since you wrote above that this forum is a main source of information for you, then I have no idea how you got to the conclusion in bold
waynebrady Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Well, since you wrote above that this forum is a main source of information for you, then I have no idea how you got to the conclusion in bold Lovelybird confirmed that women want the man to love her alot more than she loves the man. I have seen similar things stated several times. Women show no intrest in men and women don't express any love towards men so why should I assume that's not the case?
Lovelybird Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 I agree. It would be better if women loved the man as much as the man loves the woman. But they are just not capable of doing so. Women are not very "loving" creatures. It's not in the female nature to even like men, never mind love them. .....................
denise_xo Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Lovelybird confirmed that women want the man to love her alot more than she loves the man. I have seen similar things stated several times. Women show no intrest in men and women don't express any love towards men so why should I assume that's not the case? Right. So you are saying that there is not a single female poster on LS who has 'showed interest' in a man, or 'expressed any love' towards a man. Do I understand you correctly?
waynebrady Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Right. So you are saying that there is not a single female poster on LS who has 'showed interest' in a man, or 'expressed any love' towards a man. Do I understand you correctly? No. I'm saying there's not a single woman on this earth that has showed intrest in a man or expressed any love towards a man, ever.
somedude81 Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Why? It's the natural process of 99% of the other living creatures on the planet. But unlike the other 99% of living creatures on the planet; human males can use logic and reason. Frankly, I'd rather be in a relationship where she has the stronger feelings, which should make her less likely to stray or break up for arbitrary reasons. Perhaps, and that's why smart men leave their women perpetually in pursuit of their emotional availability, not to be confused with their love and companionship. I didn't get that memo. Oops I don't know anything about emotional availability, so I can't comment.
waynebrady Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 ..................... I'm not surprised you find it laughable that I think it would be better if women in general loved their husband/boyfriend as much as the husband/boyfriend loved her. After all, you are a woman and you want every advantage possible in a relationship. Anything else I'm shure is ridicilous to you
denise_xo Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 No. I'm saying there's not a single woman on this earth that has showed intrest in a man or expressed any love towards a man, ever. How do you reconcile that opinion with all the female LS posters who do just that. Are they all men in disguise?
Lovelybird Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 After all, you are a woman and you want every advantage possible in a relationship. you are right again! but wrong again with woman cannot love as much
Feelin Frisky Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 No. I'm saying there's not a single woman on this earth that has showed intrest in a man or expressed any love towards a man, ever. Do your parents know you're playing around on the computer again?
Linda9999 Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Waynebrady aside, I think at different times in a relationship, one partner may feel more love than the other. I will always remember the quote about how a successful marriage involves two people who never fall out of love with each other at the same time.
waynebrady Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 you are right again! but wrong again with woman cannot love as much Women do not even want to love their boyfriend/husband as much as he loves her. So how exactly are you capable of doing it if you do not even want to do it? Women have it as a goal in their relationship to feel as little love as possible for their man, this in effect incapacitates them from even being able to love the man as much as he loves the woman. Personally I'm beggining to doub't women can even feel any love what so ever for a man. You do not even want a man at all. As I said earlier it's not in the female nature to even desire men. If women had their wish(which is to be left alone by men) mankind would soon enough become extinct.
Jazzari Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Women do not even want to love their boyfriend/husband as much as he loves her. So how exactly are you capable of doing it if you do not even want to do it? Women have it as a goal in their relationship to feel as little love as possible for their man, this in effect incapacitates them from even being able to love the man as much as he loves the woman. Personally I'm beggining to doub't women can even feel any love what so ever for a man. You do not even want a man at all. As I said earlier it's not in the female nature to even desire men. If women had their wish(which is to be left alone by men) mankind would soon enough become extinct.Dude, you have some serious issues. Really. I'm a widow and my one comfort is that my husband knew just how much I did love him. I showed it daily in both words and actions. And I know how much he loved me in return. I have no regrets in that area and even though he died suddently and unexpectedly, there is nothing that went unsaid. I won't go into the aftermath of his passing, but a suicide watch on me was the least of it. So don't tell me I can't love. You make your own reality, and yours is f'cked up.
Woggle Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 The best marriages work more when they love each other equally or at least very close. When a woman loves a man more she becomes clingy and controlling and when a man loves a woman more she ends up having an affair with a man she loves more than him.
depplover_1980 Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 I always love more and I suspect I always will because my core is so emotionally damaged that it will seep out and I become extremely vulnerable when I begin to fall in love. So it is not the love itself that I am just dealing with but all previous issues and pain and consequently the struggle I have is to remain focused forward and in control- I am finding this out again now after being single for 18 months. I pick very strong unemotional men because it is the stability I require and I find the characteristics balance my own overt passion, so he does not declare or display his 'love' in ways parallel to mine. What I have learnt is to appreciate each individual and the way in which they communicate that love and to not expect all to reciprocate in 'your' way. A big error made by a lot of people for me is failure to recognise the manner in which your partner shows their love to you.
oaks Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 No. I'm saying there's not a single woman on this earth that has showed intrest in a man or expressed any love towards a man, ever. Are you for real, or did I miss some 'disclaimer' post from you in the past where you already explained why you say crazy things?
SincereOnlineGuy Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 A friend of mine recently told me it's "very clear her boyfriend loves her more than she loves him." To me, this signals it is time for a SERIOUS look at the relationship. To her, it was casual and she may as well have been discussing what she had for breakfast. I'm interested in hearing what people have to say about this. Is someone supposed to love less? Do you know if you're the one loving less? I may be naive, but I was truly under the impression that in an adult relationship, both partners loved equally. When you realize someone loves more, does that open the door for breaking up? Will someone always love more in relationships, as true equality is impossible? Is there degrees of loving someone? Does knowing your partner love you more give a weird sense of control? Very curious to hear everyone's views/ experiences. Wow, this is very thought-provoking, and I have a few thoughts about it. "Logically", someone ALWAYS has to love more, and the other love less (by any measure you could possibly find a way to make) (perhaps it would be like trying to divide 6 million grains of sand equally - technically possible {I guess} but extremely unlikely that one side isn't 'more' and the other 'less') "Emotionally", the centerpiece of "love" is each of us yearning to 'invest ourselves IN the other'. When you've got that mastered, you wouldn't even stop to care or think about what the other side is seeming to 'get' from your investment IN them (other than 'trust', I mean). Our emotional rewards come in far greater amounts from the act of us investing ourselves IN the other party than they ever would from that actual other party him/herself. When trust hasn't been broken, then picture two partners standing back-to-back, each inching their feet forward slowly (heels moving away from those of the other person, while still 'together' back-to-back). The "trust" is what keeps each believing that the other won't suddenly move and cause them to FALL. Most of any satisfaction you're going to receive from a relationship will come not from that other person magically doing or saying specific things, but instead "most" of the satisfaction results from you making that person 'important', and then taking major satisfaction from his/her successes and happiness and sexual pleasure and good fortune. When two parties each *know* that the other is fully 'there' with strong conviction then they bond as strongly as possible. (here's another consideration: when in the throes of oral sex, how much of your satisfaction REALLY results from his magic tongue, and how much results from YOUR having been willing to pry your legs open so completely, and make your body so vulnerable TO another as you relaxed and invited that vulnerability to happen?) (the guy next door might have a tongue two inches longer, and he might even love oral sex more, but when your relationship is going best, you wouldn't trade your guy's tongue for the world!) *** this all flies in the face of you having been thrust into some Algebra class at age 14 and having been sure that 'Johnny', who sat behind you, was your destiny or 'soul mate'. Fact is, you give yourself most of the satisfaction you'll get from a relationship, and that "who loves who more" will NEVER matter as long as there remains no way for an accurate measure. So, ultimately, the main goal is finding someone you are willing to trust, while predicting that person to be entirely interested and wanting to trust you while you share a life path into the immediate and hopefully long-term future.
Author Confusedalways Posted January 14, 2011 Author Posted January 14, 2011 Wow, this is very thought-provoking, and I have a few thoughts about it. "Logically", someone ALWAYS has to love more, and the other love less (by any measure you could possibly find a way to make) (perhaps it would be like trying to divide 6 million grains of sand equally - technically possible {I guess} but extremely unlikely that one side isn't 'more' and the other 'less') "Emotionally", the centerpiece of "love" is each of us yearning to 'invest ourselves IN the other'. When you've got that mastered, you wouldn't even stop to care or think about what the other side is seeming to 'get' from your investment IN them (other than 'trust', I mean). Our emotional rewards come in far greater amounts from the act of us investing ourselves IN the other party than they ever would from that actual other party him/herself. When trust hasn't been broken , then picture two partners standing back-to-back, each inching their feet forward slowly (heels moving away from those of the other person, while still 'together' back-to-back). The "trust" is what keeps each believing that the other won't suddenly move and cause them to FALL. Most of any satisfaction you're going to receive from a relationship will come not from that other person magically doing or saying specific things, but instead "most" of the satisfaction results from you making that person 'important', and then taking major satisfaction from his/her successes and happiness and sexual pleasure and good fortune. When two parties each *know* that the other is fully 'there' with strong conviction then they bond as strongly as possible. (here's another consideration: when in the throes of oral sex, how much of your satisfaction REALLY results from his magic tongue, and how much results from YOUR having been willing to pry your legs open so completely, and make your body so vulnerable TO another as you relaxed and invited that vulnerability to happen?) (the guy next door might have a tongue two inches longer, and he might even love oral sex more, but when your relationship is going best, you wouldn't trade your guy's tongue for the world!) *** this all flies in the face of you having been thrust into some Algebra class at age 14 and having been sure that 'Johnny', who sat behind you, was your destiny or 'soul mate'. Fact is, you give yourself most of the satisfaction you'll get from a relationship, and that "who loves who more" will NEVER matter as long as there remains no way for an accurate measure. So, ultimately, the main goal is finding someone you are willing to trust, while predicting that person to be entirely interested and wanting to trust you while you share a life path into the immediate and hopefully long-term future . I love this! I never really thought to 'measure' in my current relationship. Personally, I took love as a blanket statement, much like you have implied in your bolded post- where a 'measurement' doesn't matter, but just the trust. In other relationships (non-romantic) I never really hear anything about measurements, because it's just seems like it's implied that things are equal. However, I really do continue to see my friends statement of her boyfriend loving her more as troublesome. Perhaps there is just a problem inherently with trying to measure love to begin with. When you start to measure, maybe this is where problems of control, insecurity, etc comes in? Judging by a few posts in this thread, it seems like some people who have been burnt by loving more or less are more likely to find something tangible to measure, and assert their more or less love. I'm really enjoying everyone's views on this!
SincereOnlineGuy Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 However, I really do continue to see my friends statement of her boyfriend loving her more as troublesome. Perhaps there is just a problem inherently with trying to measure love to begin with. When you start to measure, maybe this is where problems of control, insecurity, etc comes in? Yeah, the fact that she started to "measure" (or was inclined to)... suggests that she has reservations about going "all-in(to the relationship)" with HER VULNERABILITY. That is very possibly the result of insecurity (entirely unique to her) OR it could be justifiable in that her instincts are truly telling her something about her boyfriend. I still kinda think that once you're there, in a relationship, much of the mental 'chess match' is played between you and yourself in terms of how willing and how comfortable you are when risking it all... (the ones who risk it all live the HIGHEST highs and sometimes endure the lowest lows -- and the upside potential for "highest" is further away from the start point than is the downside potential for "lowest" - So, when gauged from the start point, the risk-reward potential is always favorable in relationships)
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