quietGuy13 Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 I always see women with their female friends, like they don't really care about men ..they don't even seem attracted to men. They have fun with eachother and don't seem like they have adesire for a boyfriend. is that how women are? they have no interest in men. And lately i visited dating sites and half or more of the women say they're BI so it making me think that women really are not into men. I guess i dont understand women. can anyone tell me? Do women secretly want men too OR is the only reason why i see couples and married people because the guys were the ones that kept trying to get the girl and finally they did.?
Ruby Slippers Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 I always see women with their female friends, like they don't really care about men ..they don't even seem attracted to men. They have fun with eachother and don't seem like they have adesire for a boyfriend. That's just because they're trying to look fabulous, like the image of a successful, youthful woman without a care in the world that the media serves us up on a platter. And they are trying to look fabulous... for men.
carhill Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 IME, talking with female friends, wives of male friends and with personal experience, women enjoy certain aspects of having males around, exclusive of satisfying them sexually, mainly in the security and safety areas. A man makes them feel safe and secure. I hear this a lot from my married female friends and wives of male friends. It's often one big reason they stay in less than wonderful marriages. One big advantage, at least with current social norms and socialization, to being a woman is being able to get many intimacy and emotional needs met by other women; for a large portion of the male population, this is difficult to do with their gender, assuming hetero in both instances. Fortunately, men are socialized to deal with this disparity and process their emotions and intimacy needs in other ways. Over the years I've wondered why attached women approach men like myself to get such intimacy and emotional needs met when they could easily do it with female friends. The only conclusion I can make sense of is two-fold: One, it is efficient, since sex is a motivator far more powerful than mere friendship and, two, a man thinks like a man and doesn't 'get' women like a woman does, so he's more easily manipulated. Ergo, it takes a lot less 'work' to get the same result, namely empathy and validation. Anyway, OP, I don't think there are any hard and fast generalizations which can be applied or inferred. Everything is anecdotal, as I just shared above. One only needs to read LS to see that, for many women, it is definitely not OK to be without a man in their lives and go through life with their female friends. I think that mirrors my real life experience and is the basis for my 'women are single for ten seconds or less' theory of explaining why I can never find a single woman. If they weren't interested in men, there would be a whole bunch more single (demonstrably) and they certainly, IME, are not. Good luck in your search
utterer of lies Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Are most women Ok without men and just being with female friends? Most women aren't even ok with a relationship and lots of friends
daphne Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 I don't have a lot of female friends so I don't think so. I do have a lot of male friends, and I kind of like the male energy. Guys are kind of juvenile and dumb but fun and warm hearted. Women can be more intimate and reliable for emotional situations, but can be very catty, petty and jealous. I actually trust men more than women because of this. I'm not terribly intimate with men (unless I'm in a relationship) so I don't have to worry about getting my feelings hurt.
waynebrady Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Most women have a take it or leave it attitude and wouldn't really care if they never had a boyfriend. Alot of women would probably even prefer to never be with a man at all. This is just how it is. It's not in the female nature to desire men and want to be with men....
sally4sara Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 You're going to have a healthier relationship with someone who isn't desperate to be in a relationship but would enjoy romantic companionship. I remember really enjoying my time with my friends whether I had a date lined up, a BF, or nothing much going on romantically at all. But I'd already been married and unhappy in that, so being single was a bit of a reprieve. I also think geography comes into it as well. I held a lease for a year in a small burg outside my home city and the lack of nearby activities combined with the amount of driving involved in going into the city for a night made me feel a bit lonely towards the end of that lease. If you live in a bigger city with a good amount of entertainment options, people might just seem not as interested in relationships but would welcome one if it came along. Seeing them out and happily socializing, for some reason you interpret this as not caring if they have a man in their life? Kinda makes you sound like you're looking for that vulnerable, desperate chick crying in her beer in the corner because she's easier prey.
Emilia Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 I don't have a lot of female friends so I don't think so. I do have a lot of male friends, and I kind of like the male energy. Guys are kind of juvenile and dumb but fun and warm hearted. Women can be more intimate and reliable for emotional situations, but can be very catty, petty and jealous. I actually trust men more than women because of this. I'm not terribly intimate with men (unless I'm in a relationship) so I don't have to worry about getting my feelings hurt. I agree with this post, this is how I see my friendships. women can be a bit more hard work than men, the discussions usually run deeper and I don't always fancy that - in fact usually don't fancy that. I'm not big on talking about my feelings for example. with my male friends we usually do activities together and to be honest that's enough for me in terms of intimacy 80% of the time.
pandagirl Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 I prefer having deep relationships. Period. Friendship where I can really talk and discuss intimate topics, hence, I have mostly female friends. Most of my guy friends are SO's of my girlfriends.
denise_xo Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 I am in a relationship now but have spent many years on my own and I was quite happy like that in many ways. I am called 'very independent' by a lot of people and usually have tons of projects or things I want to do going, so I am never bored in my own company and have enough friends to keep a regular social schedule when I want to. I am not close to my family, so with the exception of a few individuals, some of my friends are the closest I have to a family in terms of receiving ongoing practical and emotional support. They are extremely important to me. My H once put me in a situation where I was expected to choose between him and a friend, and there was no way I was prepared to do that. To me, it was like choosing between H and a sister. When I was single, I did of course miss the physical intimacy and just having someone that you are very close to. There is a security in it but not so much in terms of typically 'male protection' from my POV - it's more about just having someone there to share and consult with on all the little (or larger) things in life that you don't necessarily feel warrant a separate phone call to a friend. It reduces stress levels (provided relationship is healthy of course). Most of my friends are female but I have good male friends, too. In my case, the former aren't any more work than the latter. I pick my friends wisely
Emilia Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 I prefer having deep relationships. Period. Friendship where I can really talk and discuss intimate topics, hence, I have mostly female friends. Most of my guy friends are SO's of my girlfriends. interesting. I consider some of my friendships with men very deep with a strong bond, we just don't feel the need to discuss things all the time. sort of just get on with it. there is a certain kind of connection with people which is rare when you know that even if you didn't talk for 10 years you would pick up everything where had left it off, regardless of gender. 1
Emilia Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Most of my friends are female but I have good male friends, too. In my case, the former aren't any more work than the latter. I pick my friends wisely there you go, in case anyone needed my point proved
bac Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 I always see women with their female friends, like they don't really care about men ..they don't even seem attracted to men. They have fun with eachother and don't seem like they have adesire for a boyfriend. is that how women are? they have no interest in men. And lately i visited dating sites and half or more of the women say they're BI so it making me think that women really are not into men. I guess i dont understand women. can anyone tell me? Do women secretly want men too OR is the only reason why i see couples and married people because the guys were the ones that kept trying to get the girl and finally they did.? IMO It is not about genders but women prefer relationships with emotional/intellectual connection vs. sex with no emotional connection.
Recommended Posts