500daysofsummer Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 (edited) long story short. -together for about 8 very happy months. fell in love. perfectly happy together. -i cheated on her. we separated. -we've been separated for about a year and a half now. during this whole time i've been begging to get her back. breaking NC over and over and over. i tried to show her how sorry i was and how much i want her back. -she went out with two guys. she told me she "loved" one of them. i knew she was just spiteful and it turned out i was right. she told me she thought i was a bad guy. she broke up with her serious bf a few months ago and has been single since. we've been in close "more than friends" contact this whole time. even talking about marriage/family after we broke up/i cheated. -fast forward to last night, she cried and told me she forgives me. she said that i'm not a bad guy. she said that she misses me. but i asked her if there's a possibility we can talk about getting back together. she said no, crying. so then i said that we should NC and she agreed. so just an hour ago... she broke NC, just one day after we both agreed to NC. she sent me a video and lyrics to a song that basically said that "you will always be the one." she didn't type anything out, she just sent the video with lyrics. to me, it seems like she wants to show me that she still has feelings for me. obviously, she told me that already. how should i respond to this? remember, i'm the one trying to get her back. for a year and a half i've been the one breaking the NC. this is the first time she's ever broken NC! i feel that if you ignore a girl they take it much harder than guys and it makes them angry and it pushes them away. i really don't want to ignore her. i feel that if you NC a guy it's much more effective and it draws them in but for a girl it's the opposite. HELP! i really want her back but i want to take the best course of action. Edited January 13, 2011 by 500daysofsummer
Von Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 You really want her back, yet when you directly asked her if there is a chance of getting back together, she said no. Seems pretty clear to me. I would stay in NC and just disappear. If she comes banging on your door for a second chance then maybe consider it. You have to let her go. The last year and half of begging has seriously damaged her attraction for you. When you are gone for quite awhile and have healed and reinvented yourself then maybe if she runs into you she will see you as a new person and will be attracted again. Otherwise your getting yourself no-where but deeper into pain. "KILL THE INNER CHILD SO THE MAN MAY LIVE"
Author 500daysofsummer Posted January 13, 2011 Author Posted January 13, 2011 can i at least play hardball and say to her: "I'm going to ask you to respect our decision to NC." and leave it at that? or should i just not respond at all? i really don't want to leave her hanging.
Fern Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 No! If you're going to do NC then DO it! Don't get dragged into this again. She knows how you feel - leave it at that. You really ARE ruining her attraction to you. Leave her hanging - she's kept you hanging for over a year now.
shayan Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Move on billy, move on. Ask her one last time and if she says no, move on.
Recommended Posts