lala82 Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 In august I met an Argentinean guy online. We started talked a lot every single day. We chat on msn, he called me frequently in skype and we spoke and for hours and hours. It was the first time for me to have that kind of connection with someone. I am now in Colombia. But I studied in England a MSC. When I met him I was planning to back to The UK. But this guy told me several times that I should go to Argentina instead of back to London. I have the option to go to Buenos Aires or London. So, I start to apply for some jobs in Argentina and I went to the Argentina Embassy to know all the requirements that I need for a residence visa. I spoke with my family and they told me that will help me to move to Baires. He was so happy and we started to make some planes together. However, two weeks ago we had our first argument. I could not connect for a week on msn. I was very busy dealing with some family issues. During that week it was my b-day. When, I connected again. He sent me a msg, which he wished me a happy b-day. He also told me that he miss me a lot and loves me. When, I spoke with him he was very worry. He told me that he though that I didn't connect because I wanted to leave him. I told him that I was very busy. He told me that he never wants to lose me and that he wanted I move to Baires in January. But I was quite angry with him, because my b-day was on Sunday and he sent me the mgs on Monday. He told me that he was in the countryside for x-mas and he didn't have internet. I told him that it was an excuse. I told him that I was very angry that he couldn’t send me a msg, but my ex bf sent me a msg even that he lives in the other side of the word. The Argentinean was very very angry and he told me I should back with my ex bf. I told him that I didn't love my ex bf, because I have feelings for him. Also, I told him that my ex bf was in the Middle East and I am in Colombia. He told me that distance shouldn't be a problem. He told me that he lives near to his ex gf, but he will never back with her even that they have a child. Finally, he told me that he will call me later on skype to have a chat. I say to him that I didn't want to speak with him later, because I needed to calm down. Just we said bye and send some kisses. Since then, he hasn't connected. I sent to him 2 messages. I apologized because I shouldn't mention my ex bf. But he hasn't replied or connected. I know he hasn't deleted or blocked me from msn. I do miss him so badly. And I am very sad, because he hasn't gave me the chance to tell him that I was organizing everything to go to Baires this month. Any advice I do not know what do to??
folieadeux Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 I'm so sorry to hear this lala, can you try calling him? I'm really not sure what more you can do if you can't get in touch with him. Where does this leave you now in regards to your move? I could be wrong, but it sounds like the move was motivated by your SO. If you don't hear from him, does that mean you'll be back in the UK?
creighton0123 Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Lala, Let me be straightforward if it is welcome. This man sounds very, very fierce. Whether it's a cultural thing or personality, he loves and he loves hard. At the same time, he gets angry and fights hard. The move to him seems totally pushed by him. Was there any discussion about him moving? Also, you've only seemed to have been doing the LDR since August. Isn't a move to another country a very big decision, perhaps one that shouldn't necessarily be made having known someone for only five months? You shouldn't be upset about him missing your birthday by one day. If he didn't have internet, he didn't have internet. He wished you a happy birthday the next day. At the same time, you brush off not being able to connect for a week because of family issues... If communication is an essential agreement, I find it odd that you would not be able to find some time in seven days and then get mad at him because, while you were unavailable, he didn't wish you a happy birthday... You need to figure things out. Your boyfriend sounds incredibly jealous and the issues you're encountering (his telling you that you should go back to your ex simply because you mentioned him) are typically present in less stable relationships. No doubt you both care for one another, but do you feel that is enough to justify/rationalize changing the course of your entire life while he doesn't seem to be making any changes?
Author lala82 Posted January 13, 2011 Author Posted January 13, 2011 Thanks folieadeux. One of the reasons of moving to Baires was him. Sometimes, he was very upset because were apart. A month ago, he told me that I was very important for him but that he didn't switch on his cam, because he was very depressed because he knows that we live in different countries. I know he can’t come to Colombia now, because he has to look after his child 3 days per week and I do not think he can pay the trip. Also, he told me that the economic situation in Europe it wasn't the best. He told me that In Baires I can get a good job because I have a MSC in The UK and speak English and Spanish. When I applied for some jobs there I had 2 interviews online, but they didn't hire me because I was in Colombia. I have the option to back to London. However, when I though about the idea of back to London and don't see him I was very sad. I told him that I didn't want to back to Europe, because I want to be with him. I told him that I will speak with my family about my planes and I did it. In X-mas I spoke with my mum about the idea of moving to Baires and she told me that it was fine as long as I was able to get a proper job there. However, in December I apply for visa in The UK. I am still waiting for the results. I did it because I want to have another option in case that I need to travel there. I really want to be with him. But, if he doesn't connect I do not want to move to a country where I don't know anyone. At least, in The UK I have very good friends there, who want I will back soon.
Author lala82 Posted January 13, 2011 Author Posted January 13, 2011 Thanks folieadeux. One of the reasons of moving to Baires was him. Sometimes, he was very upset because were apart. A month ago, he told me that I was very important for him but that he didn't switch on his cam, because he was very depressed because he knows that we live in different countries. I know he can’t come to Colombia now, because he has to look after his child 3 days per week and I do not think he can pay the trip. Also, he told me that the economic situation in Europe it wasn't the best. He told me that In Baires I can get a good job because I have a MSC in The UK and speak English and Spanish. When I applied for some jobs there I had 2 interviews online, but they didn't hire me because I was in Colombia. I have the option to back to London. However, when I though about the idea of back to London and don't see him I was very sad. I told him that I didn't want to back to Europe, because I want to be with him. I told him that I will speak with my family about my planes and I did it. In X-mas I spoke with my mum about the idea of moving to Baires and she told me that it was fine as long as I was able to get a proper job there. However, in December I apply for visa in The UK. I am still waiting for the results. I did it because I want to have another option in case that I need to travel there. I really want to be with him. But, if he doesn't connect I do not want to move to a country where I don't know anyone. At least, in The UK I have very good friends there, who want I will back soon.
folieadeux Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Thanks folieadeux. One of the reasons of moving to Baires was him. Sometimes, he was very upset because were apart. A month ago, he told me that I was very important for him but that he didn't switch on his cam, because he was very depressed because he knows that we live in different countries. I know he can’t come to Colombia now, because he has to look after his child 3 days per week and I do not think he can pay the trip. Also, he told me that the economic situation in Europe it wasn't the best. He told me that In Baires I can get a good job because I have a MSC in The UK and speak English and Spanish. When I applied for some jobs there I had 2 interviews online, but they didn't hire me because I was in Colombia. I have the option to back to London. However, when I though about the idea of back to London and don't see him I was very sad. I told him that I didn't want to back to Europe, because I want to be with him. I told him that I will speak with my family about my planes and I did it. In X-mas I spoke with my mum about the idea of moving to Baires and she told me that it was fine as long as I was able to get a proper job there. However, in December I apply for visa in The UK. I am still waiting for the results. I did it because I want to have another option in case that I need to travel there. I really want to be with him. But, if he doesn't connect I do not want to move to a country where I don't know anyone. At least, in The UK I have very good friends there, who want I will back soon. I think it's a really good idea that you're keeping all of your options open just in case. You're lucky...you have alot of them, and I wouldn't let anyone ruin that for you. I hope you hear from him again, but if you don't, it's good to see you have your priorities straight and will not let him dictate your life.
Author lala82 Posted January 14, 2011 Author Posted January 14, 2011 Thanks Creighton and Foliedaux for your opinions. I know that I had made a mistake for being angry with him for my b-day. But at least I have recognized my mistake and sent to him a msg to apologized for my behaviour. I am still disappointed that he has overreacted. I can't believe that his acting like that in our first argument during 5 months. However, I won't send any single message to him anymore. I think that he has to trust me more, when I tell him that he is the only one and that my ex bf is part of the past. Both or you are right, I can't change all my plans to back to London just for him. I need to focus on my life first. However, still having strong feelings for him and missing him a lot
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