Saxis Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 I've settled for someone I'm really not that into and let it go WAY TOO FAR. It was pretty good at first, but I really had no idea what I wanted coming out of a divorce. She was great with my daughter, sex was good, always eager to please. But it's different now... We've been living together for 2 years, she's completely engrained herself into my life, my daughter, my friends. She never goes out to see her own friends, and they stopped calling her and inviting her to get-togethers. I tried encouraging her to go, because I definitely do like my personal time, bowling nights with the guys and such. I get the guilt trip any time I want to do anything without her. The worst part is the constant battle with my XW. Let's just say they didn't hit it off, even before they met, as the X was still trying to win me back or some such... It's still just a dramatized disaster, which I'm stuck in the middle of. About six months ago, while lying in bed, she asked me when I was going to marry her. I just said that I didn't know... So for six months she's been leaving open jewelry magazines all over the place with rings circled, telling my best friend and his wife that she only wanted a ring for Christmas. They only bring it up about every time we see them... It's pretty much just become one sided. She does all the initiating, because I could care less. I feel extremely guilty because I know she's not going to get what she wants out of this, yet I haven't ended it already. I know, I'm a jackazz! It's going to floor her when I tell her there is no future and it's over, and that sure doesn't help. Other factors that don't help me leaving: a place to live, stability for my daughter, finances... Pretty much just a rant, as I know what I have to do, but please feel free to leave comments/suggestions. Don't bother telling me I'm a prick for wasting her time, I know this already.
Surrealist Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 Oh man, does she have a place to go and live?? You say you're leaving her so I guess not??
Author Saxis Posted January 12, 2011 Author Posted January 12, 2011 (edited) We are just renting, but she lived there almost 2 years before I moved in. I don't even want to live there though. I'm currently driving 25 miles to and from work every day and would rather live closer to town. That's another issue though. I'm ready to buy a house, but not as long as I'm in this relationship. She has a bankruptcy hanging on her head for 6 more years. I'm not sure she could afford to live there if I left though... Edited January 12, 2011 by Saxis
Surrealist Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Yeah not saying you're a prick of anything, understandably you don't want any future with her and she is pushing the marriage card quite strongly by the looks of it. Still cannot help feel sorry for her as I'm sure you probably do to some extent as well?
Author Saxis Posted January 13, 2011 Author Posted January 13, 2011 Yes, that is where the guilt comes from. I'm going to hurt her either way. I keep thinking "The timing just isn't right...". My brother was having issues for a few months with his SO, and he started living with us right about the time I thought I would break it off. Then we made a bunch of plans with both of our families for the holidays. My brother is settled again, holidays are over and I really have no excuse now.
ReadyforLove Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 You need to let her know asap that you have no intentions on marrying her. You have wasted enough of her time by leading her on (yes, you lead her on) for this long. Her goal is marriage (and possibly children) WITH YOU but you do not want the same. You need to set her free and let her find someone who is willing to give her those things.
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