Sooki Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 So I was dumped by my ex for another girl almost a year ago but I guess they didn't work out. We had no contact for a few months and then he tried contacting me to see what's up and I didn't respond. Several months later, when I was talking to a mutual friend, he was around too and said something condescending and rude to me just to put his two cents in. He had always been like that towards me when we dated and acted like I never knew what I was talking about, even if the subject didn't relate to him at all. But he was also not going anywhere and doing anything productive with his life and didn't want to move out of his parents' house so I guess he was trying to say mean things to compensate for his lifestyle. Now, I haven't spoken to my ex since we broke up so I don't understand why he would be bitter and rude with me if he was the one that dumped me for someone else. I moved on and hung out with friends and have gone on a few dates but these things never got back to him and we are from almost completely different social circles. The thing is though, he has anger and anxiety issues so I'm wondering if this could be part of the reason why he attacked me. I'm wondering if dumpers have the ability to be bitter and does it sound like he was being bitter or what? I'm not bitter with him at all and just wish he would get some help. But isn't it supposed to be the other way around? Aren't I supposed to be bitter and not him?
Fern Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 Let the loser be bitter. At least his behaviour has shown you that he hasn't changed and that him dumping you was the best thing for you. You had a lucky escape and you know it. I'd be bitter too if I was a condescending loser who lived with my parents and was going nowhere in my life.
Rose T Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 He sounds very immature - not just because of his post-breakup behaviour - but also because of the way he left you. Sounds like you're a lovely, mature person who took the hurt on board and slowly tried to get back in the dating scene - good for you! Many of us dumpees are looking for positive role models on the board and your story shows exactly why behaving with a bit of class pays off in the long run. I get the impression that sometimes dumpers who behave rashly and thoughtlessly are bitter because they secretly don't like themselves very much. In your case, you seem well shot of your ex - everything from your NC to your elegant composure really seem to have riled him. All the more reason for the rest of us to take note of your story. Just goes to show you behaved perfectly.
tatteredwings Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 This definitely shows his immaturity. Usually when people are condescending to me, I understand that they do this because of their own insecurities and that they need to assure themselves that they are a decent person by putting others down. You are lucky you are not with this kind of person anymore. So be proud of yourself for taking the higher road, and ultimately showing him who the better person is.
spiderowl Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 Yes, I would think the one who was dumped is most likely to be bitter. I get the strong feeling your ex is just being true to form. His fundamental character hasn't changed: he blames others for his misfortunes and belittles them to make himself feel better. Sounds like you did well to escape and more fool him! I hope you don't have any sympathy for him and keep well away: critical people are best avoided.
Sugarkane Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 My ex is exactly like this aswell. It puzzles me as he was the dumper and I haven't done anything wrong. My ex also has to belittle other people to make himself feel big. Like the picture of Dorian Grey, he is attractive on the outside, but rotting on the inside!
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