AverageJoe Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Yeah, but you didn't act; you didn't make the first move. You just responded. She made the first move. That "got any other bad habits" was an obvious come-on. What if she DIDN'T say that? Would you have still gone for the number? What if you don't have girls trying to chat you up all the time? What do you do when you have to make the first move? I expected this response from you. And, you are actually right somewhat. She did say something to me. My question was, what would YOU have done. How easier can it get. Err scratch that...it can happen easier. BUT, would you have asked for her number? I have a feeling you would not have. My example was for you to get an understanding men are not always the one that has to make any comments. What would have you done? This is the easy stuff, how much easier can it be? You cant approach women if you cant respond to an obvious comment towards you. She made the initiative, you didn't. Right? If you cannot adjust and make that kind of situation work, then you don't need to be asking what would you do in regards to approaching someone if you can't deal with the easy stuff. It seems you cant even handle the easy steps if it drops in your lap. Instead, you just want to question it. Why question it? Fear.
dispatch3d Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Hey guys, have you seen 500 Days of Summer? Be honest, is it a chick flick? Because my bros are saying I should rent it, but they've totally tricked me into seeing crappy movies before. They took me to see Lovely Bones, and I swear, 30 minutes in, I wanted to slash their tires. Seriously, that girl comes back from the dead for one day. She COULD have gone to the police to reveal who the killer is and perhaps saving another girl's life. What does she do instead? Spend it with some boy. What a selfish bi...girl!" "Hey, have you guys seen Tron Legacy yet? I dunno if you plan to or have seen the first one, but yo, they totally ripped off the music from Inception; you know, those violin riffs and that horn that goes "BAHM-BAAAAAHM!" And the actual character Tron, the guy whom the movie is named after, is in it for like 30 seconds. How stupid is that? Refund!" Alright, couple problems I see: (1) why are you talking to them about a particular movie? In pickup slang the thing has to be rooted, meaning you are talking to them about tron because of x. Like if she's wearing a tron hat, well that's easy. Or if you are waiting in line for tron then that's cool too. (2) Some sort of false time constraint is "supposed" to be in there. In all honesty, I'm not totally sold on the false time constraint (unless everyone is sitting, then it seems obviously necessary) but I can think of many instances where it's not useful. (3) There's a 3 second rule out there. So if you are going to do something canned (you prepared it or someone else) I suggest looking for a particularly good canned response. (4) Talking about crap like this shows way too much interest. Telegraphing interest in a way that is not direct (ie. your hot lets dance type direct) is bad. And being direct will result in you having more blowouts/problems/whatever. The other problem is the way to get better at these things is by actually doing it. The only way to get better at dating is to date girls, and the only way to get better at hitting on girls is to hit on girls. It's that simple. There's a lot of subtle things that are way more important than whatever the **** comes out of your mouth. Some basic ways to talk to women: (1) some dramatic event just happened, and you have to talk to someone about it. People love drama, so if you are a drama filled guy this might be easy. The only thing that sucks about this opener is the ones who will respond the best will be the most dramatic (doh!) (2) there's cocky/funny/role playing stuff you could attempt. However just by your sheer lack of ability to understand any of my satirical posts, or comprehend my tongue-in-cheek humour I'm thinking this isn't going to work for you. (3) Being funny - which is what I do fwiw. Or commenting on some random thing that both of us are around at the time. Or the fact she starts talking to me randomly (idk why). (4) Opinion openers are all the rage. However, don't go asking for a female opinion - mystery's a little toooo popular. One of the pro's openers is asking girls if he looks like a drug dealer, because people keep asking to buy stuff from him. Then he riffs off this, it can go various ways (like and they always get mad when I don't have any, yadayada). Make sure the opinion opener is either about you or an event (not them! or anything they are wearing!) The most important things you have to get used to is talking to strangers, and that being just a normal thing for you. A ton of this stuff just comes down to straight up social skills, which I can tell you don't have. However, the more you do it, the faster your social skills will grow. And they grow really really rapidly when hitting on women (it's basically live or die, and once you decide you will not die, well, you'll figure out **** whether they enjoy it or not). fwiw I would just start with being able to have normal conversations with people in retail, people working at burger king, whatever. Initially I assume the interactions will be really weird, and they definitely were for me when I started. But eventually everything just flows, and before you know it you're talking to random cashiers all the time and slightly annoyed that your "like this" haha. Like some kind of victim of friendly behaviour ;-).
Surrealist Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 (edited) U87 you are going to have to come to terms with one very important and yet sobering life fact: Not everyone has luck with the opposite sex. For guys it can be worse, because though women may have trouble finding an LTR, they do not have anywhere near as much trouble landing dates or casual encounters. You may well be sitting here on this forum when you are a 40 year old man (like me) with no woman, no dates, and no sex and wondering WTH. You'll look at life like a big script written out by Cupid, where people all around you will be either in love or otherwise screwing each others' brains out, walking about with big smiles on their faces - or at least not having temper tantrums because of frustrations borne out of a fundamental absence of human sexual intimacy. You will either persist with your efforts, in misery, until such time you become disappointed and then, disillusioned, and finally relinquish any hope of finding intimacy with women. At this point you'll consider some options, some good, some not-so-good. You may sit back and learn to live with it, and live in mediocre happiness and contentment, or like fighting gravity, persist with ever increasing frustration and bitterness that will invariably lead to depression and goodness knows what else until such time loneliness grips us in its dark, diabolical stranglehold. Life is not fair, it is life and only the strong survivie, or more importantly, thrive. Edited January 13, 2011 by Surrealist
Author U1987 Posted January 13, 2011 Author Posted January 13, 2011 Just go do it. Chat up multiple women a social situation with alcohol, music, and dancing. Get too cozy with a total stranger and follow her home. Say crazy bs things to her like how you wish you could turn back time or why do people hate being in the rain, yet love showers. Drink more and inhale substances with her. Say silly stupid things to each other or have "deep" meaningful talks. Make out, but keep pushing forward. Be relentless and disrespectful. Get under her clothes and pray she doesn't stop you. And when she does, whine and pout, and say you have a meeting in the morning and leave. Don't ask for her number. Why bother? Go out the next night and find a woman who is more desperate than the last. She's pretty drunk and on the rebound from a cheating boyfriend so she wants revenge. You tear at each other in the parking lot while strangers stare with disdain. You are embarrassed, but you persist. You take her home and move fast so she won't change her mind. But she has something to prove to her ex so she wants to f*ck. And even though you're boring, you'll do for one night. She is loud and wild and you feel like a superhero even though you have trouble keeping it up from the alcohol. But you finish. And you thank her, but she's already in the bathroom texting her ex and begging him to come back. Wake up the next morning with a hangover and a lingering sense of satisfaction mixed with emptiness and shame. You think of the woman from last night and you have feelings for her. Her crazy sex in 14 different positions has penetrated your libido. Plus her blue eyes with their sadness has touched your heart. But no time to think of her. You've got another conquest to get. Casual sex is a full time job and you are always on the clock. Maybe you can find somebody online or text a desperate ex. Keep moving because the fear that maybe you have an STD or that you are a lousy lay lingers in the background. Lather, rinse, and repeat. Fun times I can tell you're speaking tongue-in-cheek, but in all honesty, this is everything I want in life right now (minus the fear and whiskey-dick). There will be no shame or emptiness either.
Untouchable_Fire Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Just go do it. Chat up multiple women a social situation with alcohol, music, and dancing. Get too cozy with a total stranger and follow her home. Say crazy bs things to her like how you wish you could turn back time or why do people hate being in the rain, yet love showers. Drink more and inhale substances with her. Say silly stupid things to each other or have "deep" meaningful talks. Make out, but keep pushing forward. Be relentless and disrespectful. Get under her clothes and pray she doesn't stop you. And when she does, whine and pout, and say you have a meeting in the morning and leave. Don't ask for her number. Why bother? Go out the next night and find a woman who is more desperate than the last. She's pretty drunk and on the rebound from a cheating boyfriend so she wants revenge. You tear at each other in the parking lot while strangers stare with disdain. You are embarrassed, but you persist. You take her home and move fast so she won't change her mind. But she has something to prove to her ex so she wants to f*ck. And even though you're boring, you'll do for one night. She is loud and wild and you feel like a superhero even though you have trouble keeping it up from the alcohol. But you finish. And you thank her, but she's already in the bathroom texting her ex and begging him to come back. Wake up the next morning with a hangover and a lingering sense of satisfaction mixed with emptiness and shame. You think of the woman from last night and you have feelings for her. Her crazy sex in 14 different positions has penetrated your libido. Plus her blue eyes with their sadness has touched your heart. But no time to think of her. You've got another conquest to get. Casual sex is a full time job and you are always on the clock. Maybe you can find somebody online or text a desperate ex. Keep moving because the fear that maybe you have an STD or that you are a lousy lay lingers in the background. Lather, rinse, and repeat. Fun times I can see your talking from personal experience here. In my not so humble opinion... both people engaged in this aforementioned encounter are disgusting.
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