sarahlove233 Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 My boyfriend has been "friends" with a certain girl at our university. I don't mind him having friends, however I have never met her. If I try to reach out to her via text, e-mail, facebook, she ignores me. My boyfriend also does not tell me when they hang out and smoke weed together. This is the same girl that many people have accused him of cheating on me with. He sneaks over to her appt without telling me. When I told my boyfriend their relationship hurts my feelings, he yelled at me and accused me of being untrusting. I want to know if I am overreacting, or do I have a right to feel like they are being shady? He says he needs to be himself or he cannot be happy. Am I crazy to think this is a little innappropriate?
saddad1 Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 No you are not crazy at all. It is inappropriate. Why would he not introduce you to this girl? The fact that you have not yet met her is a big red flag I'm afraid. Tell him that you are not trying to stop him being himself but that you are concerned with his relationship with this girl and the fact that he is keeping it from you. Have you tried smoking weed with him and try and get some answers out of him then
carhill Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 When I told my boyfriend their relationship hurts my feelings, he yelled at me and accused me of being untrusting. 'Attacking me for feeling uncomfortable regarding this friendship with another woman whom I've never met is unacceptable. I'm going to take some time alone to think about our future' If marijuana is illegal in your jurisdiction and you aren't a user (if you are, you know the risks), make sure he doesn't have any stashed at your place. Better safe than sorry.
Author sarahlove233 Posted January 13, 2011 Author Posted January 13, 2011 Thanks guys! I am definitely going to tell him I need space to consider if we have a bright future for us ahead. Him being so defensive and mean makes me more suspicious he may be hiding something...
jadedone Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Chances are he want's to be with her, but she has friend zoned him. They hang out, and he wants more, but she just wants friends.
PegNosePete Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Chances are he want's to be with her, but she has friend zoned him. They hang out, and he wants more, but she just wants friends. Chances are much higher than they are banging like rabbits. She ignores all your messages, doesn't even reply with "hi"? There must be some reason she does not want to talk to you. Most likely because she's screwing your BF. Sorry OP, he is definitely not a keeper. Get rid of him ASAP.
magicbunblemb Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 read your story, if I were you look him straight in the eye and ask him a question anything random regarding the girl where were you last night if he was with her what did you do last week if it was with her if he dont look you straight in the eye he is cheating on you and if i were you i'd go behind his back and do the same thing make him jealous chances are you'd be able to find someone better and sensative and more relaxing as to who you really are and need and then dump this a*****e let me know how it works. My boyfriend has been "friends" with a certain girl at our university. I don't mind him having friends, however I have never met her. If I try to reach out to her via text, e-mail, facebook, she ignores me. My boyfriend also does not tell me when they hang out and smoke weed together. This is the same girl that many people have accused him of cheating on me with. He sneaks over to her appt without telling me. When I told my boyfriend their relationship hurts my feelings, he yelled at me and accused me of being untrusting. I want to know if I am overreacting, or do I have a right to feel like they are being shady? He says he needs to be himself or he cannot be happy. Am I crazy to think this is a little innappropriate?
PegNosePete Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 read your story, if I were you look him straight in the eye and ask him a question anything random regarding the girl where were you last night if he was with her what did you do last week if it was with her if he dont look you straight in the eye he is cheating on you and if i were you i'd go behind his back and do the same thing make him jealous chances are you'd be able to find someone better and sensative and more relaxing as to who you really are and need and then dump this a*****e let me know how it works. Worst. Advice. Ever. Apart from the dumping part.
Kinder-Horror Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 read your story, if I were you look him straight in the eye and ask him a question anything random regarding the girl where were you last night if he was with her what did you do last week if it was with her if he dont look you straight in the eye he is cheating on you and if i were you i'd go behind his back and do the same thing make him jealous chances are you'd be able to find someone better and sensative and more relaxing as to who you really are and need and then dump this a*****e let me know how it works. I have to idea what you just said. Punctuation is your friend. OP, the guys is cheating. Everyone has already said it, but the two HUGE red flags are that he will not introduce you to her and that she is ignoring your attempts to reach out to her. Not to mention that others are telling you he is cheating with her and that he blows up unnecessarily at you when you try to articulate your feelings about the situation. This guy is a jerk - and you really don't want to be with a guy like that. Run far, far away and cut him off.
2sunny Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 he's grooming you to accept his unacceptable and abusive behavior. is that what you are going to settle for?
freestyle Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 People with nothing to hide..........hide nothing. He's being evasive.(red flag) She's blanking you. (red flag) When you asked your bf about his friend--he immediately attacked you and criticized you......instead of caring enough about you to allay your concerns. It's called turning the tables--it's on page one of The Cheater's Handbook. (huge, giant red banner!!!!...) OP, I hope you're not having unprotected sex with him. Sorry to be blunt, but cheaters aren't the types to consider the consequences of their actions.Your physical health could be at stake right now. No healthy relationship allows for one party to have friends that the other party is not allowed to meet.It's completely disrespectful. Insist the your bf introduce you to his friend. If he has an issue with that, then it's time to introduce him to the curb.
2sunny Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 People with nothing to hide..........hide nothing. If he has an issue with that, then it's time to introduce him to the curb. just his reaction alone (abusive, disregarding her feelings, and disrespectful) shows everything you need to know - dump this abusive, selfish liar!
Hannah86 Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 Speaking from experience...I dated a guy that was close to a girl from his college, but after college, they lived in separate cities. I suppose I was convenient because I was in the same city as he. So, we dated. But he made it very clear that this other girl was HIS best friend, not me. It doesn't matter whether or not he is cheating on you. The fact is, this guy is more interested in another girls' opinion. She isn't giving him the relationship/the sex that he wants, so it's a challenge. He will never be into you as long as he is into her, and, my ex was never in to me as much as he will be into this other girl in another city. I broke up with him when he made an improptu visit to her city-- "i'm not even going to see her, i'm going to see my buddies!"--didn't invite me to come along, and i dumped him before he left. Of course, on facebook the next day, there were dozens of pictures of them hanging out. I would hate the feeling of competing with another girl--PERIOD. He is completely disregarding your feelings, so if I were you, I'd begin the painful process of breaking up now rather than later. A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP is the one I am in now. My boyfriend cruelly ignores his ex flings and girlfriends, and introduces me to the girls he considers to be his friends. He has even introduced me to one or two girls that he has made out with in the past...but...there is no awkwardness there because there are no lingering feelings. If my boyfriend smoked pot with another girl all the time, he would definitely want me to tag along and meet her.
Recommended Posts