Jake99 Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 I came on here in November and after my gf (now ex) pulled the old “I need space” spiel and basically deflected everything back on me to get out of the relationship. Then she dumped me via email after a lame disagreement. Well, after a month of sporadic text and emails, and reading advice from certain individuals on LS, I went into NC and have been for over 6 weeks. My ex emailed me at Christmas and I never read it or returned an email, I just deleted it! I found out via friends that she went back to an ex who she dated 2 years ago who whined and pleaded that he had changed and wooed her back. He appears to be quite the guy! No job, dreams alot and lives off everyone else! Beauty!! So here’s my second chance. It’s not with my ex, it’s with me! The moment I went into NC, I started working out at the gym 5 days a week, socialize with friends and have gone on a couple dates. I got the person I was before back and gain a far greater respect for myself than before. Of course there are days when I miss her and yes I still care for her, but when I reflect back I also realize how disrespected I was being treated in last month of being with her. It’s all about attitude and how you deal with yourself, not with your ex! If you’re willing to keep pinning and wishing them back, you don’t get yourself back. I made a commitment to myself to be in the best shape ever and I see the changes both physically and mentally. I know that one day I will bump into my ex and I can’t wait to see the look on her face when she realizes what she missed out on. A guy with a good career, who is driven, and loads of fun to be with while she hangs out with an unemployed bum! Well deserved!!
aerogurl87 Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 You know I'm happy that you are happy with yourself now, but it really irks me when people assume that outward appearances, status, and/or money has a total bearing on how they're ex will feel when they bump into them. He may be a bum, but if he's a bum that makes her heart sing, in the end she will look at you and yes she may envy those qualities, but she's probably thinking "he can't love me like the guy I'm with now." I know that sounds like crazy talk, but love makes people do and think crazy things. Just because someone is great on paper, doesn't mean they're gonna be the best when it comes to matters of the heart for someone else. Just something to think about.
Author Jake99 Posted January 12, 2011 Author Posted January 12, 2011 You know I'm happy that you are happy with yourself now, but it really irks me when people assume that outward appearances, status, and/or money has a total bearing on how they're ex will feel when they bump into them. He may be a bum, but if he's a bum that makes her heart sing, in the end she will look at you and yes she may envy those qualities, but she's probably thinking "he can't love me like the guy I'm with now." I know that sounds like crazy talk, but love makes people do and think crazy things. Just because someone is great on paper, doesn't mean they're gonna be the best when it comes to matters of the heart for someone else. Just something to think about. Thanks aerogurl87, I understand where you are coming from and please don't take me the wrong way. I didn't want to go into great detail of things because I would be longwinded and boring. It was a nutshell story to explain how I moved forward and the second chance for me. I wish I could describe what we had because I made her heart sing as you put it, she claimed I was the one on so many occasions and I gave her the real meaning of love. Bottom line, she got maniuplated by a guy who is a scam and although I respect your comments, I really do; I know her better than most and how she operates. Thanks for your comments though, it is something to think about.
aerogurl87 Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 Thanks aerogurl87, I understand where you are coming from and please don't take me the wrong way. I didn't want to go into great detail of things because I would be longwinded and boring. It was a nutshell story to explain how I moved forward and the second chance for me. I wish I could describe what we had because I made her heart sing as you put it, she claimed I was the one on so many occasions and I gave her the real meaning of love. Bottom line, she got maniuplated by a guy who is a scam and although I respect your comments, I really do; I know her better than most and how she operates. Thanks for your comments though, it is something to think about. I understand that, and I'm happy for you. I wish my most recent ex boyfriend would do like you have to be honest. I wish he'd work on himself and learn to be happy with himself instead of relying on someone else. Hopefully he will one day. But I'm happy you are happy with who you are and found yourself again, because in the end the only person who will love you unconditionally without a shadow of doubt is yourself.
zigawit Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 I came on here in November and after my gf (now ex) pulled the old “I need space” spiel and basically deflected everything back on me to get out of the relationship. Then she dumped me via email after a lame disagreement. Well, after a month of sporadic text and emails, and reading advice from certain individuals on LS, I went into NC and have been for over 6 weeks. My ex emailed me at Christmas and I never read it or returned an email, I just deleted it! I found out via friends that she went back to an ex who she dated 2 years ago who whined and pleaded that he had changed and wooed her back. He appears to be quite the guy! No job, dreams alot and lives off everyone else! Beauty!! So here’s my second chance. It’s not with my ex, it’s with me! The moment I went into NC, I started working out at the gym 5 days a week, socialize with friends and have gone on a couple dates. I got the person I was before back and gain a far greater respect for myself than before. Of course there are days when I miss her and yes I still care for her, but when I reflect back I also realize how disrespected I was being treated in last month of being with her. It’s all about attitude and how you deal with yourself, not with your ex! If you’re willing to keep pinning and wishing them back, you don’t get yourself back. I made a commitment to myself to be in the best shape ever and I see the changes both physically and mentally. I know that one day I will bump into my ex and I can’t wait to see the look on her face when she realizes what she missed out on. A guy with a good career, who is driven, and loads of fun to be with while she hangs out with an unemployed bum! Well deserved!! I severely wish that I was strong enough to go it alone, because my relationship seems far from working at the minute. I used to be such a fun, lively person and i was always smiling. The life and soul of the party, but my relationship has turned me into half the person i used to be. I dont go out without him, I overthink things too much which has made me anxious and upset. I know i wuld be better off on my own but im not at that place yet. i wish i was. Good for you for getting your life on track!
Author Jake99 Posted January 12, 2011 Author Posted January 12, 2011 I severely wish that I was strong enough to go it alone, because my relationship seems far from working at the minute. I used to be such a fun, lively person and i was always smiling. The life and soul of the party, but my relationship has turned me into half the person i used to be. I dont go out without him, I overthink things too much which has made me anxious and upset. I know i wuld be better off on my own but im not at that place yet. i wish i was. Good for you for getting your life on track! I hope you will find that place. Actually I know you will, you just need time to re-focus and believe in yourself.
Graceful Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 Nice news, Jake. I have read your posts and I do not think you sound like someone who would criticize a new man in your ex's life unless it was the truth. Most important, you like yourself, you know you're a good person, and next time around, you will be appreciated for your goodness and all of your other wonderful qualities. Stay the course. Nothing is more important than feeling good about the progress you have made, your inner strength, and how much you know you deserve respect, consideration, kindness and love. You will get there. My very best to you, it's nice to read about changes from within that are for the better.
Author Jake99 Posted January 12, 2011 Author Posted January 12, 2011 Nice news, Jake. I have read your posts and I do not think you sound like someone who would criticize a new man in your ex's life unless it was the truth. Most important, you like yourself, you know you're a good person, and next time around, you will be appreciated for your goodness and all of your other wonderful qualities. Stay the course. Nothing is more important than feeling good about the progress you have made, your inner strength, and how much you know you deserve respect, consideration, kindness and love. You will get there. My very best to you, it's nice to read about changes from within that are for the better. Thanks Graceful, no I am not one to criticize another person. I look for the best in people and I am also more than willing to acknowledge others. I know and I am confident in saying that my ex gf's best interest is not being put first and the influence she is getting is superficial. However, it's not my problem nor my business anymore. I simply will not be there to pick up the pieces when she falls. I have no interest in being friends with her because that will only affect me in the long run. Thanks again for acknowledging my posts!
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