Cassandra92 Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 So tomorrow I'm meant to meet him after work to discuss things... We broke up because I'm going away to university in a different city in a few weeks, but we both still love each other and want some form of a relationship until I go. He told me he still wants us to be able to hold hands/hug/kiss when we hang out, so essentially it would still feel like we are together... only he doesn't want the 'boyfriend/girlfriend' label anymore. I guess because he thinks it will hurt less when I go if we aren't technically 'together'. He told me to think about it and see him in a few days, because he wanted me to really want that too. It was either that, or he told me to come up with another plan, and he would go with it. It feels like an awful lot on my plate, but I have been thinking. I do still want to be able to be physically close to him, not sex, just things like cuddling if we watch a movie. I miss those things more than anything. But at the same time, this break up has hit me so hard, I cry all the time even though we haven't cut contact, and I wonder if my judgement is clouded by how sad I'm feeling. I'm unsure if I should go tomorrow. There's a part of me that just wants to not show up, that would be the end of things. But I don't want to leave things horrible between us. Another part of me wants to give it one more chance and see if we can come to some agreement.
PegNosePete Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 We broke up because I'm going away to university in a different city in a few weeks, but we both still love each other and want some form of a relationship until I go. So, why did you break up? It doesn't really make sense to me. If you still want a relationship why break up? Why not stay together until you go? And if you really love each other, why break up at all? He told me he still wants us to be able to hold hands/hug/kiss when we hang out, so essentially it would still feel like we are together... only he doesn't want the 'boyfriend/girlfriend' label anymore. Sorry but this is a crock of sh#t. He wants to have his cake and eat it. Sounds like he is using you. Don't accept this treatment. this break up has hit me so hard, I cry all the time even though we haven't cut contact, and I wonder if my judgement is clouded by how sad I'm feeling. By pretending to still be with him, you're prolonging your agony. The best way to get over him is to cut contact completely. It will hurt more at first but it will get better. By hanging around and doing bf/gf type things but without being bf/gf, you're just in limbo and you can never move on. I'm unsure if I should go tomorrow. I would say a resounding no. If you want to get back together then tell him this. If he doesn't want to, then don't accept a demotion from GF to just a friend, or some kind of half-GF. There is really nothing to discuss, tell him you want to fix things and if he wants to then he knows where you live, but if not then goodbye. But if you're going to break up in a few weeks anyway then there's not a lot of point getting back together really, might as well stay broken up, cut contact so you can recover and go to uni in a healthy emotional state.
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