daphne Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 I said, no I am not. I will not force you to do or go anywhere you do not want. This language and your tone about the whole thing sounds disingenuous and manipulative. I would think it would be more sincere to say that you understand and would rather she be comfortable. It's ok to be disappointed. But you sound more than disappointed. I can tell you that she's setting her boundaries to go slowly, and despite what you're saying, I'm not sure you want to do that. Be honest with yourself and either move forward with her at her pace or find someone who's going yours.
daphne Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 99.9999...% of the time, a date at home implies sex. Unless it's at my house
dispatch3d Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Not to everyone, but if something happened naturally, I would not had stopped it. However, why would she first agree to it without second thought, then a few days later back out? It was not like it was a surprise. She got more anxious as she overthought things. Schedule something more afternoonish so it doesn't trigger this no-sex thing she has going on. I'd just go on 2-3 more dates and if things aren't developing cut if off (basically see where things go, if they go friendship land than blah date someone else, if they don't go there then good).
Author jimbo Posted January 13, 2011 Author Posted January 13, 2011 This language and your tone about the whole thing sounds disingenuous and manipulative. I would think it would be more sincere to say that you understand and would rather she be comfortable. It's ok to be disappointed. But you sound more than disappointed. I can tell you that she's setting her boundaries to go slowly, and despite what you're saying, I'm not sure you want to do that. Be honest with yourself and either move forward with her at her pace or find someone who's going yours. Wasn't trying to be disingenuous or manipulative. If I was on either, then I would be pushing for it. Again, I told her I was disappointed, but it is okay. I honestly wasn't planing on sex, just to welcome her over and cook a nice meal. That is all. There were no hidden intensions with my offer.
Author jimbo Posted January 13, 2011 Author Posted January 13, 2011 She got more anxious as she overthought things. Schedule something more afternoonish so it doesn't trigger this no-sex thing she has going on. I'd just go on 2-3 more dates and if things aren't developing cut if off (basically see where things go, if they go friendship land than blah date someone else, if they don't go there then good). It's not like we've not made out. Heck, she stuck her tongue in my mouth on the second date. I think, the two and a half/three weeks we did not see each other, my have pushed things back a bit. However, there were extenuating circumstances. If I would had lost my sister or niece, I would had been severely in a state of shock and would had probably just needed time for myself. Lots of it. I told her that. I just hope, due to the few of weeks since we've seen each other did not screw up a chance with a good woman. When I am at her place on Saturday, should we talk about it? She's Italian, so they traditionally like strong men. Not sure, showing a sensitive side is a good move so early on.
krz12 Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Quick question: When someone cancels on you (not last minute or anything, so its fair), it is 100% their responsibility to reschedule, right?
Author jimbo Posted January 13, 2011 Author Posted January 13, 2011 Quick question: When someone cancels on you (not last minute or anything, so its fair), it is 100% their responsibility to reschedule, right? Yes. If they do not, then they are not interested. This was not the case, as she wanted to do something else, closer to her place.
krz12 Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Yes. If they do not, then they are not interested. This was not the case, as she wanted to do something else, closer to her place. Right, it was just a general inquiry that didn't really merit its own thread. Thanks.
Star Gazer Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 You should be mindful of the worst case scenario: that she thinks you're upset because she won't put out. Yup, and this isn't a good way to start off any third date, regardless of location. OP, I'd suggest some damage control.
Author jimbo Posted January 13, 2011 Author Posted January 13, 2011 Yup, and this isn't a good way to start off any third date, regardless of location. OP, I'd suggest some damage control. Open to suggestions.
PhillyDude Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 So Ladies if a guy askes a girl to come over his place or her place on the 2nd or 3rd date she automically thinks he is looking for sex???
ConflictedGuy27 Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 ...if a guy askes a girl to come over his place or her place on the 2nd or 3rd date she automically thinks he is looking for sex??? do fat kids love cake?
Star Gazer Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 So Ladies if a guy askes a girl to come over his place or her place on the 2nd or 3rd date she automically thinks he is looking for sex??? Yes, yup, uh huh, si, oui, ja, hai, na'am, da...aye!
Author jimbo Posted January 13, 2011 Author Posted January 13, 2011 What type of damage control were you talking about Star?
daphne Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 So Ladies if a guy askes a girl to come over his place or her place on the 2nd or 3rd date she automically thinks he is looking for sex??? Nooooo. We think you're looking for a challenging game of yahtzee.
GivenUp0083 Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 This language and your tone about the whole thing sounds disingenuous and manipulative. I would think it would be more sincere to say that you understand and would rather she be comfortable. It's ok to be disappointed. But you sound more than disappointed. I can tell you that she's setting her boundaries to go slowly, and despite what you're saying, I'm not sure you want to do that. Be honest with yourself and either move forward with her at her pace or find someone who's going yours. Daphne hit it spot on, listen to her. Wasn't trying to be disingenuous or manipulative. If I was on either, then I would be pushing for it. Again, I told her I was disappointed, but it is okay. I honestly wasn't planing on sex, just to welcome her over and cook a nice meal. That is all. There were no hidden intensions with my offer. It doesn't matter what your true intentions are at this stage, it's how you come across. It's how SHE percieves you at this point, not what you're truly thinking. What type of damage control were you talking about Star? I would call her up, tell her what you just said....You weren't trying to push for anything in a physical sense and that your intentions are true and you just want to go on another date with her. Tell her you understand her reason for not wanting to come over for dinner at this stage, then suggest something more fun. Dinner can be fun and all but it seems like dinner dates have a lot of pressure associated with them. Try going to a comedy show or doing something that is fun and isn't as focused on being entirely across-the-table one-on-one conversation. If she has fun spending time with you, she will keep seeing you. There's plenty of time later for serious dinner dates. Just my opinion, I've done a LOT of dating and I've found a great girl because I was flexible and I finally stopped over-analyzing everything.
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