Spices Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 (edited) So... today he showed me signed divorce papers. I didn't even ask to see them, he just showed them to me & seemed pretty enthusiastic about it. Tomorrow they go to court, apparently. I know this doesn't really mean anything yet, and so I continue to remain skeptical, but at least I now know he hasn't been lying to me about the divorce. We've been seeing each other every evening, (trying to keep things pretty innocent) just enjoying each others compony. He's been helping me a lot with a few things as well, and I love how supportive he is of me. For now I'm trying to take things slow. I don't want to put too much weight on this or add a title to anything, but according to him we're already in a relationship. Whatever we are, it is what it is & I've decided to just enjoy the moment. I'm trying to pin point red flags, but he's been pretty honest to his words as of late. Edited January 12, 2011 by Spices
KickinCowgirl Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 Well he has the papers thats a pretty clear sign... I mean even if they delay things its in motion... and he does sound to be taking the relationship seriously. I understand why you are guarded tho but it does sound like he is serious.
blinded_27 Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 Good for you for not getting too caught up and excited in all of this.... definitely keep things innocent and take it slow, go back to the dating stage and do it all over again the right way (if this is what you really want).
carhill Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 Sounds great OP. I assume you saw the settlement agreement, which both petitioner and respondent sign, that the court will enter into the judgment tomorrow. We did ours through self-help (no court hearing) and requested judgment by mail and got the final divorce papers with seal within a week. Good luck
JsSweetPea Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 So... today he showed me signed divorce papers. I didn't even ask to see them, he just showed them to me & seemed pretty enthusiastic about it. Tomorrow they go to court, apparently. I know this doesn't really mean anything yet, and so I continue to remain skeptical, but at least I now know he hasn't been lying to me about the divorce. We've been seeing each other every evening, (trying to keep things pretty innocent) just enjoying each others compony. He's been helping me a lot with a few things as well, and I love how supportive he is of me. For now I'm trying to take things slow. I don't want to put too much weight on this or add a title to anything, but according to him we're already in a relationship. Whatever we are, it is what it is & I've decided to just enjoy the moment. I'm trying to pin point red flags, but he's been pretty honest to his words as of late. I think that's a great way to look at things. How exciting, though!
Author Spices Posted February 13, 2011 Author Posted February 13, 2011 (edited) Update: He's officially divorced. His ex has moved out already. She now has her own place and even has a new boyfriend. Right now I'm helping him decorate & fix things up. I guess he wasn't messing around when he said all those things. His actions ended up being very true to his words, which doesn't surprise me; he's a very blunt & honest person. Edited February 13, 2011 by Spices
OWoman Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Update: He's officially divorced. His ex has moved out already. She now has her own place and even has a new boyfriend. Right now I'm helping him decorate & fix things up. I guess he wasn't messing around when he said all those things. His actions ended up being very true to his words. :bunny: This is good news! I hope things develop in a way that meets your expectations.
East7 Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Update: He's officially divorced. His ex has moved out already. She now has her own place and even has a new boyfriend. Right now I'm helping him decorate & fix things up. I guess he wasn't messing around when he said all those things. His actions ended up being very true to his words, which doesn't surprise me; he's a very blunt & honest person. Maybe you want to move to another house, would you feel comfortable to live in the same house as his xW, sleep in the same bedroom ?
whichwayisup Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 Take it slow. Don't be so quick to move in with him.. Get out of the affair dynamic. Date and enjoy that phase, get to know eachother in a new and healthier light, rather than just move right in and start a new life with him. Plus, it'll be good for him to be on his own and have some time to just adjust to all the changes.
fooled once Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Good for you for not getting too caught up and excited in all of this.... definitely keep things innocent and take it slow, go back to the dating stage and do it all over again the right way (if this is what you really want). Ditto Update: He's officially divorced. His ex has moved out already. She now has her own place and even has a new boyfriend. Right now I'm helping him decorate & fix things up. I guess he wasn't messing around when he said all those things. His actions ended up being very true to his words, which doesn't surprise me; he's a very blunt & honest person. Take it slow. Don't be so quick to move in with him.. Get out of the affair dynamic. Date and enjoy that phase, get to know eachother in a new and healthier light, rather than just move right in and start a new life with him. Plus, it'll be good for him to be on his own and have some time to just adjust to all the changes. Ditto Get out of the affair relationship. Start slow, date, ensure your needs are being met and that you are getting what YOU want out of all this. GOOD LUCK!
Author Spices Posted February 14, 2011 Author Posted February 14, 2011 (edited) Thank you for all the well wishes. ] Get out of the affair relationship. Start slow, date, ensure your needs are being met and that you are getting what YOU want out of all this. GOOD LUCK! We're doing exactly this. I couldn't possibly move in with him now, it's way too soon for both of us. We've only known each other for 6 months for goodness sake, haha. I also feel like it would be a bit disrespectful to his previous relationship. We both agreed that no matter what happens, I will not move in with him for at least a year and a half, if not more. Right now we're just having fun & enjoying each others company. We also both agree that whatever we have must be something notably significant. He gave up a lot for us, both emotionally & financially. Edited February 14, 2011 by Spices
East7 Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Thank you for all the well wishes. We're doing exactly this. I couldn't possibly move in with him now, it's way too soon for both of us. We've only known each other for 6 months for goodness sake, haha. I also feel like it would be a bit disrespectful to his previous relationship. . This is another example that when they move out they (statistically) do it in the first 6 months of the A (I have read it somewhere here on LS but don't remember where). Good luck Spices!
OWoman Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 This is another example that when they move out they (statistically) do it in the first 6 months of the A (I have read it somewhere here on LS but don't remember where). It's a claim commonly used to beat LTA OPs over the head with - "if he was going to leave, he'd have done so within 6 months". It also flies in the face of all the stories here where the MP leaves after three, four, or six YEARS. MPs leave when they are ready to leave. There is no gold standard on that.
TigerCub Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Thank you for all the well wishes. We're doing exactly this. I couldn't possibly move in with him now, it's way too soon for both of us. We've only known each other for 6 months for goodness sake, haha. I also feel like it would be a bit disrespectful to his previous relationship. We both agreed that no matter what happens, I will not move in with him for at least a year and a half, if not more. Right now we're just having fun & enjoying each others company. We also both agree that whatever we have must be something notably significant. He gave up a lot for us, both emotionally & financially. That's fantastic news!! I'm happy that he didn't drag things out and that you both have an idea of not wanting to move too fast. Good luck Spices
Confused4Now Posted February 14, 2011 Posted February 14, 2011 Thank you for all the well wishes. We're doing exactly this. I couldn't possibly move in with him now, it's way too soon for both of us. We've only known each other for 6 months for goodness sake, haha. I also feel like it would be a bit disrespectful to his previous relationship. We both agreed that no matter what happens, I will not move in with him for at least a year and a half, if not more. Right now we're just having fun & enjoying each others company. We also both agree that whatever we have must be something notably significant. He gave up a lot for us, both emotionally & financially.I'm happy to see another man who finally COWBOY'D UP!!! Take things slow hopefully you will get to know each other out of the affair mode dynamics. I wish you all the best.
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