Angelwork Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 Hi, i am new to these forums. But in desperate need of help! I'm hurting.. - Long story short - I met her when i was ~15. It wasnt really love at first sight, but it was definatly something i saw in her, as she did in me. When High school began, we ended up in the same class (Note now that i am 20+). It was really inevitable, we started off in a childlike relationship, like most people do. With yelling, fighting for really stupid reasons. Anyways, we always managed to stick together no matter what. Her love was growing for me, as so i was for her. We got our first apartment together, and things was going really well. Sure we had a rough road sometimes, but who doesn't? Though.. She was always abit jealous, because of her selfconfidence, which i didnt fully understand since i always thought of her as the most perfect woman. And that was often the fights we had, about the same thing, jealousy.. Years went by and our relationship had hit new levels, and we both had definatly grown. Anyways, my family wanted to take a trip to asia to visit my relatives. Me and her had hit a snare in our relationship and i could actually feel her slipping away from me. I didn't want to leave for a 5 weeks in asia but the tickets were booked and there was nothing i could do. We said our goodbyes, and it was really different and hard. When i arrived, i was so depressed because i realized something was terribly wrong. I couldnt sleep, i could eat right, i couldnt focus. All i did was stare at nothing and cry at night. I had absolutley no one to talk to either, no one understood me at all. And so it happened, while i was what seemed a billion miles away, she decided to leave me.. and.. i was so empty inside, i was in so deep shock.. it felt like i was falling, over and over again and i would never be able to climb up. My visions of marriage for her, which i always told her about, and children we always had talked about just vanished into thin air.. When i got back from my trip, she called me the minute i got home and asked if i could come. I did - And when i was outside of her doorstep, she opened and gave me a really warm hug. We then talked about my trip, and strangly enough the breakup didnt seem to bother her at all. I told her i wanted distance because i was in so much pain, even though we were having a friendly conversation.. Anways, she didnt give me distance, she wanted me to be there with her, we cook together and watch movies etc, just like usual. Except we are friends according to her. One night, she invited me to a party at her place. Both me and her were really drunk, and she told me that she had slept with someone while we had broken up.. 6 years we had been together, and virginity lost to eachother, and ~4weeks apart, and she does this to me? I swallowed it and told her it was alright.. we ended up kissing alot and falling asleep. Next day, she kisses me in the morning and we are hugging. Just like we used to? A week later, we are lying in her bed. And i hugged her goodnight, and she gave me a kiss on the cheek. And i said something like: "Heey? Dont be cheap!" and she told me that she didnt want to get my hopes up of having a relationship again, because she like beeing alone and independent. And im getting all these wierd signals from her!!! IM CONFUSED HERE! She says to me she loves me, she doesnt want to kiss me and wants to be alone, but she wants me to be in her apartment and cook, and do things like gym and such? Please god, i really need advice her. Im falling into a deep depression, im continuosly hoping for her to take me back, i have my phone ready beside me and even though i had a bad cold for a long time i still walk the 30 minutes it takes to walk to her in icecold weather - whatever it takes to just see her. God.. if there is questions please, im writing this in desperation. So its probably alot that doesnt make sense.
Chi townD Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 Dude, she's stringing you along. You're filling the void until someone else comes along and she'll hook up with that guy and not feel guilty about it because "you're just friends". Cut her off, go NC now!!!! Start to heal, she cheated on you for the love of Pete and didn't seem remorseful about it at all! Dude, just cut her loose and move on.
Recommended Posts