galateea Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 (edited) It's my first post here, so hello! I'm not sure how to start, but here we go: around 3 months ago I officially broke up with my partner. This happened almost out of the blue, after we've spent wonderful times together (I should add that I've never had a reason to complain about him - I was used with this sweet & caring guy, not with a jerk). Anyway, I don't wanna insist too much on why we broke up, because there are plenty of things I have no explanation for. His behavior during this break-up time was very confusing and STILL is. When we broke up he offered me no real reason(s), he just used a bunch of "excuses" - which left me very confused. For a while, I kept asking myself "why, oh why?", until I understood that no matter how much I'm questioning myself, that's useless and it won't help me. I've tried to initiate NC, but he seemed very disturbed about this. He said that I should know what are his feelings for me, after all the things we've been through and that he still wants to keep in touch with me . Ever since then, he contacts me whenever he's in the mood (I suppose). I'm doing my best not to contact him, and when he does it, I talk nicely. I think it's weird that sometimes he's suddenly interested in me, he's able to write full phrases instead of "one-syllable sentences", he's very affectionate VS. times when he won't ask how I'm doing for days, or when he seems too busy to talk with me. I'm not clingy and I always leave him alone. Currently, I'm trying to move on. I've accepted this break-up, though there are many times when I feel sad. I've been thinking and I don't want to be his back-up (if that's what I am), I'm too tired of the fact that he's changing so fast and I'd like to be with someone who likes me all the time, not only when he wants it. What makes it worse: I don't understand what made him change THAT much nor the way he acts now. I also feel hopeless because I've recently moved out in a new city I really dislike - it's all ruins & puddles, people are weird and extremely rude, I know only 2 people here and they live km away, I've been attacked twice since I'm here and last week I got harrased by a cab driver (who's now stalking me); I also had to quit school for one year, I got sick and I'm not the partying type either. It just seems like too much stuff on my head... and once in a while I break down and I feel sad for not having him anymore, and I'm thinking that I won't meet someone else like him I don't really have a question, but I'd like to hear some opinions, maybe even some advices about what I can do. Btw, I'm trying to keep myself busy - I'm exercising, cooking, investing time in my hobbies, looking for some jobs etc. Thank you for reading! Edited January 11, 2011 by galateea
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