Vickstar Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 I found out yesterday that my ex bf (goin out for a year, dumped 3 months ago) is going out with a girl he works with (my friend found out on facebook from pics the girl had posted and they were holding hands, hand on leg etc) I thought i was moving on ok until i heard about this, i now feel like i did in the begginning of the break, really really low and i have no idea how long this has been goin on for. I have only attempted contact with him once when he removed me from facebook a few weeks ago, and he told me that "we dont speak anymore and dont have the same group of friends, sorry" When we broke up it wasnt a messy breakup, obviously i cried alot in front of him but we never screamed at each other, he almost cried too and said that his head was fried when it came to deciding to dump me or not. He emailed me the day after the split saying "im not going to look for another girl in case you were worrying, i dont want us to split up but im sick of the situation of us not going out and you not earning enough money etc etc i just need some space blah blah" This girl he is seeing is really unnattractive and its not cos im jealous (i know that sounds really mean) ive known of this girl for a while and ive always thought she was ugly and i was completely shocked when i heard about him being with her. Im quite an attractive girl, i dont mean to sound big headed at all but alot of people say im too good for him, and i treated him amazingly, i was never jealous of him or needy. Ive been really good with the NC apart from that one time and the week after we split he contacted me twice to see how i am etc I know i sound really obsessive but after all ive done for him he does this. This girl is planning on travelling this year so im guessing this could be a rebound relationship. because they work together (which i know is not a good thing) could anyone see if this relationship will last? will he regret? anyone with similar stories? ps i am trying to focus on myself by losing weight, hobbies, friends etc
Karma20 Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 No one here will no if it will last or not. I know it's hard but you can't worry about that. Keep your focus on yourself. There are a lot of people who got dumped and their ex got with someone else, me included and yes my ex came back and sure others had them come back too but that doesn't mean it will happen to you. If you've broken up more than once the chances of him coming back are slim. Tell your friends to not tell you anything, I mean anything about him. What he does know is not your business. You should ask your friend to delete him from FB.
gizbug Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 No one here will no if it will last or not. I know it's hard but you can't worry about that. Keep your focus on yourself. There are a lot of people who got dumped and their ex got with someone else, me included and yes my ex came back and sure others had them come back too but that doesn't mean it will happen to you. If you've broken up more than once the chances of him coming back are slim. Tell your friends to not tell you anything, I mean anything about him. What he does know is not your business. You should ask your friend to delete him from FB. Great advice here. When I ended a 5 yr relationship, I told my friends and sister to remove my ex from their facebook. They had no problem doing this. What as my reason? I was moving on. I did not want a friendship with my ex, I just wanted to move on, and move forward. By keeping her out of the loop on my personal life, it helped a lot. I would not be too upset. This is just a sign that your ex has moved on (either a rebound or not) and he is moving forward in life. You need to do the same, and not worry about this. Again, by having my ex's off facebook, I have no knowledge on what activities my exs are doing, who they are dating, etc. Why do I do this? Because I just don't care, and really don't care to know.
aerogurl87 Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 1) Looks don't always matter when it comes to dating. Sometimes people date people whom most would deem unattractive for other qualities they may possess. 2) It may or may not last, but that doesn't matter. Also if it's been 3 months since the break up and he's dating someone new, it sounds to me like he hadn't planned this all out. It could be that he wasn't looking for someone and found he really liked her. It could be a rebound relationship or it could be he's really falling for her. Who am I to say. All that matters is that you continue to be strong and move on, if that's what you really want. And even if you want him back you need to get to a place where you can be happy and strong on your own. No one wants someone who needs them, people want someone who wants them but can be happy by themselves at the same time.
ASIANRAINFOREST Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 good point. but i also understand how she feels. sad and low...hard to move on..but we have to move on at certian point, right?
Rose T Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Do you think you might have possibly (unknowingly) made him feel like you were too good for him? It does sound like you have a high opinion of yourself. Also, 3 times you mention looks. I'm only being honest but you come across as rather shallow and looks based. I would be completely put off by someone who bases everything on looks. In defence of the OP, I think when you've just been dumped you quite rightly try and focus on your good qualities. In this case, she feels confident in her looks which is important. I totally know where she's at, as I've just been dumped for someone else and it's hard not to let your imagination go wild and expect that the OW is going to be a super-duper amazing looking man eater... when they're (usually) quite plain and normal... and that's almost even more confusing! I don't think the OP is saying that looks are key, she's just trying to understand what's happened to her... and I hear ya, sister!!
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