nowwhatnow Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 our relationship was perfect. we did everything together. but he was having a really hard time at school, not that many friends etc. he broke up with me out of the blue. i f***ing miss him and love him to death. ive heard that hes still kinda depressed but has made new friends and doing a better in school. when things get better will he realize that he is still missing something in his life, and that something is me? or is he just going to replace me? i have tried replacing him with activities to busy my mind but i still can not get over him, i still feel horrible everyday
SDA Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Hey may or may not. You are gonna have these days just gotta take it day by day. Focus on yourself. He is doing well I guess its what he thought was best for him and there is nothing you can do. Hang out with your friends
Mrlonelyone Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 As hard as it is to believe when we are young and the wounds are fresh it will get better with time. It always does. I take it you are in school. Throw yourself into your favorite subject, or your most difficult subject. Focus on making those good grades. Use your anguish to motivate you. That's what works for me. A little heartache has helped me make progress on my thesis.
cerridwen Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Journal, journal, journal. Write down everything you're feeling, good and bad. It helps a lot. Not only will you feel better, down the road, when you're over it, you'll read how you felt and think "Oh my god." As hard as that may be to imagine now, you'll be surprised how differently you feel. Recently, I tried to re-read some pages I wrote after a breakup and couldn't. It was too embarrassing! I just tore them out and threw them away.
radrluv72 Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 Oof, I feel ya. I'm on day 12 of NC...it is very much a day by day thing in the beginning. My days off from work are extemely difficult for me, namely because I find myself with too much time on my hands and nothing left to do but think about the night of the breakup in question and how traumatic to was to me, and everything else that followed. Next thing I know, I'm a mess, not eating & popping Advil PM just so I can sleep. Well, that's obviously a not-very-nice thing to do to myself. Throw yourself into your favorite things. Talk to friends, journal as much as you can, and say whatever you're feeiling in those pages...that journal belongs to you, and more than likely once you get it down on paper, you'll never look at it again (at least I know I don't). Most importantly, get out of the house. When you're broken hearted, sometimes being alone with your own thoughts can only make things worse. Go hang with the girls, go shopping, go for a run or a walk...just get out of those 4 walls. I just started watching True Blood Series 1 & 2 on DVD this weekend to take my mind off things...frankly, Alexander Skaarsgard (sp?) is quite the nice distraction, because he doesn't look a thing like my ex. Keep your chin up, girlie. Everything gets better with time. Promise.
BlindRage Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 (edited) As hard as it is to believe when we are young and the wounds are fresh it will get better with time. It always does. I take it you are in school. Throw yourself into your favorite subject, or your most difficult subject. Focus on making those good grades. Use your anguish to motivate you. That's what works for me. A little heartache has helped me make progress on my thesis. I'm doing just that. I'm literally throwing myself into the books and want A+s in school. It is hard though, this girl in my class reminds me of her, just something about her does and It makes me sad. I have since the break-up become the biggest loner in the world. The way I'm seeing it is I'm going to school to learn and not make friends. If I talk to someone it is either because: I have to (as a requirement), I need some sort information from them, or just keep it on "hi" and limited small talk NOTHING more. I think that right now I am good being alone because I have to become emotionally stabled to function well in any relationship which includes friendship. I'm also talking to a therapist/counselor to help. I feel a little awkward and rude that I don't show any interest in anyone around me but I have to deal with this on my own (with the help of my counselor, family, and of course LS). NC I take it on a day to day level, some days are good and I'm happy, others I can't get her out of my head and break down. Take it day by day and if you can seek help from friends. Edited January 12, 2011 by BlindRage
Author nowwhatnow Posted January 13, 2011 Author Posted January 13, 2011 ya I have been taking it one day at a time, throwing myself into school and busying myself. It has been 3 months. Yet, I still do not feel happy. Happier, perhaps, but not happy. yes i did extremely well in school this semester. but did it make me happy? no. Although i want to mentally move on, i am still waiting for the day when he wakes up and realizes he made a mistake. i have experiences life without him, and it sucks. i just wish he would hurry up :/
BlindRage Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Don't torture yourself waiting for that day. If they broke up with you they had thought it out before hand and thus were able to emotionally detach themselves from the relationship. If they already went through that then the chances of them coming back are slim to non. I know what I'm talking about believe me. I waited for around 5-6 months for that and guess what? She is happy with someone else now. I'm learning to accept that, it is hard, in the end I hope I can come out a better person from this. Well we always hear the saying "what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger." lets hope that applies to our situation, ey?
Author nowwhatnow Posted January 13, 2011 Author Posted January 13, 2011 I understand what you are saying but at the same time i still have faith that once he realizes how much life sucks without me (as I have with him), then he will want to get back together. I know it sounds stupid, but I cant help feeling this way. Since he had already emotionally detached maybe the couple months that have been h*ll for me have been a relief for him. Once it sets in, I am hoping he will realize his mistake. I know some (all) of you will say I am just setting myself up for more hurt but if this is what I need to get through each day than it is what i have to do. even if i pretend to be over him and try going out with other guys, in my heart i am still in love with him.
BlindRage Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 Don't base your life upon his decision. I wish you well and just as I have said before "don't torture yourself waiting for that day".
stopthemadness Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 Journal, journal, journal. Write down everything you're feeling, good and bad. It helps a lot. Not only will you feel better, down the road, when you're over it, you'll read how you felt and think "Oh my god." As hard as that may be to imagine now, you'll be surprised how differently you feel. Recently, I tried to re-read some pages I wrote after a breakup and couldn't. It was too embarrassing! I just tore them out and threw them away. I agree with cerridwen. I too keep a journal and went back and tryed to read some pages from like day 5 of the break up. Wow it was soo sad. When am past all this, am gona burn it My therapist says that might be a way of me letting it all go, and putting it in my past. When am ready..
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