He had sex with one of my best friends

[kwist]

I know. It's all at once, so it's hard to believe that it happen. Like it's a dream and you're just waiting to wake up.

 

I understand that your in love with him, but is he in love with you? If he was, would he have cheated on you?

 

It does feel like a dream. To answer your question, I am not sure. I think he is a good person and I think he loves me, but I think he is weak. He gave into temptation. But he is young, too (20 years old) so maybe in 3-4 years things could be different.

 

 

well you should be calling your ex the monster. Yea, she did wrong by going after him and all, but he chose to do it. So he's just as wrong.

 

They are both monsters in my eyes. When I call her a monster she just pouts and pretends like she didn't do anything wrong. When I call him a monster he agrees with me.

 

He just feels bad now. Does he ever say that he regrets it?

 

Yes, all the time. He says it is the biggest mistake he's ever made in his entire life and what he regrets the most is hurting me so badly.

 

Exactly!! You're trust in him is gone. He'll be at a Uni and he will go to parties and probably think the same way he did before he cheated on you.

 

It's to much stress on you. You don't need that while at college.

 

That's what I'm saying, and especially why I wouldn't get back with him before or while in college. But I know staying out of a relationship for 3-4 years is something that would be very, very difficult for him. He has always been a committed relationship guy with all his girlfriends. So if he does stay out of one for that long, maybe I will give him another chance. Problem is it seems like one of those things where you just say that, and as soon as the moment comes you change your mind. But at least it makes me feel better. And you have people on these forums saying they're not over their exes of 30+ years!

 

It's up to you if you want to be in his life or not.

 

I think it is easier for me to have him there. I don't know if this is just hurting me more in the long run or what.

 

I really don't think he has changed over night. An why wasn't he thinking that when he cheated?

 

You are very right. It just makes me wonder though, if he didn't fully regret what he did why is he trying so hard to fix things? That girl has been trying to get with him again and he has flat out rejected her, telling her to never talk to him again.

 

Yes, you knew him, but this is someone new. Would the ex you KNEW cheat on you? NO! So who is this new guy? just some guy.

 

The guy you loved died and this new person took over.

 

It makes me sad to read this because I know it's so true. It's so easy to know that I deserve better, I should just move on, etc. But whenever I see him I feel happy again. I truly believed that this man was my soul mate. People have asked me if I am going to hook up with the boyfriend of the girl he cheated on me with. We have been hanging out, and this situation has definitely brought us closer. But I still can't get this out of my mind. It would feel like cheating to me, for some reason. Every time I am put in a situation where we might hook up I quickly lean away. It all feels so wrong. And I would never want to hurt my ex.

 

No one deserves to feel this way, whether you are in the wrong or not. I just want him to be happy, and I just want to be happy. And I thought we were happy.

[Leandro]

It does feel like a dream. To answer your question, I am not sure. I think he is a good person and I think he loves me, but I think he is weak. He gave into temptation. But he is young, too (20 years old) so maybe in 3-4 years things could be different.

Maybe in 3-4 year, but do you want to wait that long? Do you want to be with him and worry all the time that he could be cheating on you?

 

I'm 20 too and I've never cheated, but I guess some people are just weak like that. Don't use his age as a excuse for him.

 

 

 

They are both monsters in my eyes. When I call her a monster she just pouts and pretends like she didn't do anything wrong. When I call him a monster he agrees with me.

She's just being immature about it. He's just kissing your ass and saying anything he thinks will make you happy.

 

 

Yes, all the time. He says it is the biggest mistake he's ever made in his entire life and what he regrets the most is hurting me so badly.

hmmmm, but remember that actions speak louder than words.

 

 

That's what I'm saying, and especially why I wouldn't get back with him before or while in college. But I know staying out of a relationship for 3-4 years is something that would be very, very difficult for him. He has always been a committed relationship guy with all his girlfriends. So if he does stay out of one for that long, maybe I will give him another chance. Problem is it seems like one of those things where you just say that, and as soon as the moment comes you change your mind. But at least it makes me feel better. And you have people on these forums saying they're not over their exes of 30+ years!

Yea, at this age it will be hard to stay single for 3-4 years with a bunch of single college girls around you. I go to a community college and it's crazy enough there. I've been to some Uni parties and there usually are single girls. I could have gotten with one or two of them but I was messed up from the break up.

 

I've only seen what thread about the 30+ years, but remember that they all said they moved on. Yes, they do miss them still, but they didn't set at home all depressed for 30+ years. Don't worry about that part.

 

 

I think it is easier for me to have him there. I don't know if this is just hurting me more in the long run or what.

It might hurt you in the long run. You won't like it when you hear he's dating again, but it's all up to you.

 

 

You are very right. It just makes me wonder though, if he didn't fully regret what he did why is he trying so hard to fix things? That girl has been trying to get with him again and he has flat out rejected her, telling her to never talk to him again.

I'm not sure. Maybe he just wanted to get with her but doesn't want a relationship.

 

 

 

It makes me sad to read this because I know it's so true. It's so easy to know that I deserve better, I should just move on, etc. But whenever I see him I feel happy again. I truly believed that this man was my soul mate. People have asked me if I am going to hook up with the boyfriend of the girl he cheated on me with. We have been hanging out, and this situation has definitely brought us closer. But I still can't get this out of my mind. It would feel like cheating to me, for some reason. Every time I am put in a situation where we might hook up I quickly lean away. It all feels so wrong. And I would never want to hurt my ex.

Well your not ready to get in to another relationship. You need time to heal. I can understand how you feel happy seeing him, but you don't see the monster he is?

 

No one deserves to feel this way, whether you are in the wrong or not. I just want him to be happy, and I just want to be happy. And I thought we were happy.

Well, what would make you happy?

 

 

What does your gut say?