irc333 Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Okay, I have a great example here on WHY online dating is probably MORE challenging than meeting people out and about in public. After all the emails I'd sent I FINALLY get a response from a rather intellectual woman. She mentioned she's been on the dating site for 6 months, but has only been out on one coffee date. Her writing is impeccable, very articulate, great grammar, esp. in THESE neck of the woods. So that being said, lengthy emails are going back and forth between us, and going well. I get to the point to ask about talking on the phone and getting her #. She said, "Well, I don't like to give out my #, I had a bad experience" Apparently someone "found her" by looking her up, typical stalker case. So I respected that and said, "Oh okay, I can respect that." And she said, "Well, how about I get YOUR number, that way I can call you" I was thinking, if she calls me, I would see that come up, right? Wierd. But I give her my number,and she says, "Thanks, when would be a good time to get a hold of you?" And I go, "Well, probably tonight after 8" Well, she didn't get home until around midnight, but she saw y "...probably after 8 tonight" email...but she responded, and said it was midnight and too late to call I concured, and said "Well, I should be around tomorrow night then, how about that?" After that, 2 days go by, and no response....so, with this feature on the dating site, you can see "X hours since the person last signed in" I saw she signed in and read my email, but didn't respond to that one. I let it go, and waited a 3rd day....I keep seeing her sign in the past few days. I sent her an "So, this dating site has been known to loose "eat" emails, I was wondering if you had gotten it?" Still no response, but I see she's signed online recently. So obviously, OUT of the blue, she decides to ignore me. I really feel like saying, "Um....so what's the deal? Why are you leaving me hanging like this?" That being said, in a case like this, should you state " Hey, what's your problem?"
oaks Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 And she said, "Well, how about I get YOUR number, that way I can call you" I don't think it's just 'online' people who don't call when you give them your number, but if you feel you were getting on well with exchanging emails then I agree that it's frustrating. I've come across similar - people who seemed happy chatting via email but didn't want to talk or meet, so either I misjudged how well the email conversation was going or they just wanted a pen pal! (Or there could be a dozen other reasons, all perfectly reasonable I'm sure.)
Author irc333 Posted January 11, 2011 Author Posted January 11, 2011 The "Thrill of the chase" was probably over for her, she lost interest when it got to the point where could actually MEET in person (or on the phone) ALL the fun is in the online DATING part of it, it gets boring beyond that, right? LOL I don't think it's just 'online' people who don't call when you give them your number, but if you feel you were getting on well with exchanging emails then I agree that it's frustrating. I've come across similar - people who seemed happy chatting via email but didn't want to talk or meet, so either I misjudged how well the email conversation was going or they just wanted a pen pal! (Or there could be a dozen other reasons, all perfectly reasonable I'm sure.)
oaks Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 The "Thrill of the chase" was probably over for her, she lost interest when it got to the point where could actually MEET in person (or on the phone) ALL the fun is in the online DATING part of it, it gets boring beyond that, right? LOL For some of them, yes, although I've had this happen on subscription dating sites, too, so they're paying just to send and receive emails. I guess she had better options.
alexlakeman Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Cliiff's notes? Dude give it up. All u do is complain about online dating! Have you tried another site? Have you tried a PAID site? How old are you?
daphne Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Starting from the paragraph where you said 'I let it go.." you should have let it go. No email asking about eaten emails. That's too pushy. Women are overwhelmed on line. If she likes you, she'll contact you when she has time. In this case, however, I think she may have lost interest because it comes across a little pushy when a guy keeps emailing to check the temperature. If she doesn't respond, move forward. If she gets back in touch that's great. The only time you email again is if you had a date set up and you haven't heard from her. Phone calls don't count.
Author irc333 Posted January 11, 2011 Author Posted January 11, 2011 (edited) Actually, she lost interest after she flaked on me and didn't call when she said she would. I actually waited 3 days before contacting her with a follow-up. As soon as she didn't answer at the 2nd follow-up, I moved on. (Yes, I typically try more than one time, depending on the person/situation) She lost interest before I even followed-up You call when you SAY you're going to call, but don't leave a guy hanging, that's just rude. Just curious, how come "phone calls don't count"? What diff. does it make? Starting from the paragraph where you said 'I let it go.." you should have let it go. No email asking about eaten emails. That's too pushy. Women are overwhelmed on line. If she likes you, she'll contact you when she has time. In this case, however, I think she may have lost interest because it comes across a little pushy when a guy keeps emailing to check the temperature. If she doesn't respond, move forward. If she gets back in touch that's great. The only time you email again is if you had a date set up and you haven't heard from her. Phone calls don't count. Edited January 11, 2011 by irc333
Author irc333 Posted January 11, 2011 Author Posted January 11, 2011 Nah, too much money, not worth it, hearda lot of complaints about Match.com and other paid dating, a lot of inactive profiles. Cliiff's notes? Dude give it up. All u do is complain about online dating! Have you tried another site? Have you tried a PAID site? How old are you?
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