Taeyang Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Hiii, I've had this dilemma in my head for a while, please help! I dated this guy for a bit over a month, he's a good friend of one of my best guy friends. We met through him, and we hit it off immediately! it was funny, because before i knew he was my friend's friend, i bumped into him and we just had this chemistry! we stared at eachother and pretended no to haha, and then we met through my friend! We hung out mostly with a bunch of friends at first, and he would always pay so much attention to me, he was really sweet. But there are some things that i still dont understand. When we started dating he told me he'd only had one girlfriend before, and it had been over a year since they broke up, and then he said "but you look a lot like my second girlfriend".. so i guess it was implied, but i really dont know if i could say i was his girlfriend or not, since he didnt directly ask. Eitherway, after that we started hanging out a lot, he would text me pretty much every day, and he was always pretty direct about wanting to see me. I really liked him, and everything was great. But i had just come out of a really bad break up in which i never knew exactly what happened, but i think my ex left me for another girl and he lied a lot to me, and i was devastated for a long time. It had been about 6 months, and i felt i might be ready to date again, but i was wrong. After that i had so much trouble trusting a guy :\ So we went out alone, sometimes with a bunch of friends, and he really seemed into me! I mean, one time we were at this karaoke with some friends, and some girls from his work went too, and they would be flirty with him and he told them directly to stop and like show them that he was with me. Sometimes i would leave the room just to get some air, and he would always check on me, or accompany me. So after about a month he tried to make a move, you know, for us to have sex, and i told him i wasnt ready. And he was good about it, he said he didnt want it to be any pressure and he didnt insist anymore, so this one time we went out with some friends and drank a bit too much, and we ended up leaving together, and well i acceded, and even then he asked if i was sure, and that he didnt want me to feel pressured into it. But well it happened, and we spent the next day together and it was all good, except that then i started freaking out about it because of little things, and i started thinking that it was a mistake, that it had been too little time, and that maybe he just wanted me for sex, and a bunch of stupid things and i dont know what took over me! i started crying, and i couldnt stop! and he was all worried, and he asked me a bunch of times to please tell him what was wrong. And finally it just slipped and i said that i didnt think i was ready for a new relationship, and i told him how i had had a horrible break up, and that i thought maybe he would end up being one of those guys who leave when they get what they want. It slipped, i was upset and i didnt even know what or how i was saying it. And he was supportive, he held my hands and tried to calm me, and said not to worry, that i should take my time, and he had plenty of it for me. But after that things were a bit weird, i knew i had said things wrong, and after a week finally i mustered up the courage to fix the misunderstanding, but before i could he told me that in about a month he had to leave because he started classes in a University in Kentucky (pretty far from where we were), and that all week he had been thinking and that he didnt think it would work if we were in a long distance relationship. So of course i got upset, and i told him why didnt he think about that before we started dating, and he said he was sorry, that he really just hadnt thought about it cuz he liked me so much and he really just wanted to go for it. So after that we still hung out a few times, i still saw him with friends and he would still pay a lot of attention to me, and sit with me to talk for a long time. Until this one day we all went out to a karaoke again, but this time only he and my friend went, no one else i knew well, and he spent a lot of time with me, but then he would go and talk to his other friends a lot, so then i was really bored, and i saw this girl being flirty with him and i just got so jealous and started thinking of how we werent together anymore so i just left, and he immediately noticed and chased after me. He kept asking what was wrong, and he hugged me real hard, and again i just babbled and said that maybe going with them was a mistake, and that the whole thing was a mistake, and he got weird and he said oh so you probably wish we would have never met huh, you hate me dont you, and well i tried to fix it and i was like nooo, of course i dont hate you, and i dont regret that we met because we had a great time together while it lasted, and he said thank you and hugged me, and we went inside and he stayed with me the rest of the night. But after that we never hung out again, we spoke sometimes, and the day before he was leaving i called him, and he said he was thinking of calling me to say goodbye before he left, and we talked for a while, just normally, and then the next day he didnt call and that was the last i heard of him. But there was this thing that bothered me, he had a facebook, and we would both post on my friends wall but we never added eachother, i was waiting for him to add me but he didnt so i didnt. And even this one time we were hanging out, and i checked my facebook and he asked me if he could see my pictures, and i let him, but even after that he didnt add me :\ I feel so bad because i never fixed the misunderstandings we had, and i just feel i treated him so bad! but i still have the insecurity of if he really was honest to me, or if he was really in it for the sex, and what was up with the facebook thing, and i just dont know what to think anymore. So its been like 4 months, he came back for Christmas but he didnt contact me at all. And i wanted to add him to facebook and apologize for being so crazy, and for all the missunderstandings, and see if we can be friends. But i dont know, should i? or should i just leave things as they are? Did i really eff up that bad? Sorry if this was too long, i hope you guys can help me! any opinions are very appreciated! thanks!
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