Owz600 Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 (edited) We broke up over 2 weeks ago and it's day 13 of NC, I haven't messaged her but she has messaged me on my facebook status, it was nothing serious just a friendly 'that made me laugh x' comment. I saw on facebook last night in my news feed her saying to her friend 'I got a cute dress for when we go out', I know my ex and she hates going out clubbing as it is not her thing. Well anyway that comment sparked a memory in my mind which happened a month before we broke up, we was talking about our relationship and I remember she mentioned having a break but the reason she wanted one was because she felt she had not experienced enough relationships (she had only been in 2 short relationships before me and we went out for 3 years during the ages of 16 - 19) She said she loved me but wanted the date other guys, I there and then said ok lets have a break but she started crying and said she didn't want to lose me, anyway we got back together minutes later. There was no effort made for the next month by her and she seemed distant, she was even meeting up with an 'old friend' who has a job in cabin crew like she does, she insisted they used to just talk but when they are gone for a 3 hour car ride you start to wonder. Anyway thats the background info, when you get told ' I want to date other people' which is basically what she said but by hinting it makes you feel terrible, I am now starting to question what was wrong with me? I treated her like a queen, I loved this girl with all my heart and made so much effort for her. What was so bad about staying with me? I don't even know if I could get back with her now if the opportunity happened as I could be getting used as the 'door mat', a few days ago I would have jumped at that chance. Whats happening is this usual to go from praying for them back to starting to see their bad faults and actually beginning to dislike them? Edited January 11, 2011 by Owz600
AC06 Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Highly, highly common situation. a) Girls getting into going out with their friends is a major death knell for most relationships. I don't know, I really don't. b) One of the reasons I took it slow with my ex at the start was because I knew how much we clicked, and given the last long term relationship I'd had and how it ended, my major fear was that I never EVER wanted to hate her or have my opinion of her lowered. Sadly, a happened and I feel like b is happening to me right now. The worst stage is when you still love them and you realise you're starting to feel the other side, too, which is what you seem to be going through. Honestly, it really sucks, and I feel for you because it sounds very, very similar to my situation (alot do, sadly), but the fact is they've changed and they aren't the girl you loved any more. There's usually a good chance they'll come back, but by the time they do, in my experience, you've crossed that love/hate line. That's all I got right now.
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