Aisha4457 Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Hello, I'm new here so I probably won't understand many abbreviations you use I broke up with my long term boyfriend nearly a month ago now, in the heat of an argument. We had a long distance relationship and It was the only chance I was going to get to see him before Christmas and also I hadn't seen him in two weeks as it was. So I travelled to the train station and when I got there, got a call from him saying "The snow down here has stopped buses running, I can't come to get you" So I went all the way back home again, upset that I wouldn't get to see him before Christmas. Anyway about an hour after I got home we checked buses again and they were running normally again. So I said shall I come later he said yes. Great! Then he suddenly said no, that he had made plans with friends and was going out with them now. I got upset at this and we argued, in the heat of the argument he split with me. Me and my boyfriend were very much in love. We spent nearly a year previous to getting together getting to know one another, talking until all hours in the morning, we clicked. I felt safe with him, I adored him and he adored me. Around 3 months - 4 months into our relationship we began to argue. Me and my ex are both stubborn, but he is a VERY moody person. The arguments were about petty things but because of these characteristics escalated. However we stuck together for another 6 months. We split in early September again in the heat or an argument. We were apart for a month and a half, on and off contact when we finally arranged to meet up. We met up spent all day together, discussed things, had a laugh like it was in the beginning. He went home and later that night asked if I wanted to give it another go. I said yes. The first 3 weeks back together were perfect, everything they used to be. Then he just went funny on me. Quiet, withdrawn, moody. When I asked what was wrong he immediately went in to defence mode, meaning, we argued. We continued to argue until about two weeks later, my hair began to fall out. I told him and immediately he snapped out of it. Was supportive, loving, caring, sweet. Then one argument changed all that. He didn't speak to me for 4 days and when we finally did just about reconcile it a girl stuck her oar in creating a rumour he had cheated on me. Obviously this has a massive effect on us and it couldn't have happened at a worst time. I accused him, he left me. Stating he couldn't believe I didn't trust him. After proving his innocence he asked for me back. He said and I quote "You are the most beautiful girl I have ever laid eyes on, I love you more than anyone and anything in my whole entire life, I would do anything for you" He also sent me a text the following morning saying "I can't wait for you to come cuddle up in bed at the weekend" The next day we argued. People had been blaming him and insulting him about the whole rumour and it got too much for him. Instead of going on the friday, I went to his on the saturday as he wanted "space". I never did get to see him. Since the break up there was immediately no contact. After about 5 days he got in contact to see how I was and to say I don't want to be with you ever again. Fine. No contact again. About a week later he comes online ranting and shouting about how my friends had been on and on at him for the past week. I had no idea of this and when I found out he was way into his mode of anger. As a result he said he wanted me out of his life for good. A week later he comes back. We argue again and again and again. Today we spoke again and we finally resolved the whole "friend issue". A boy wouldn't leave me alone and kept badgering me so my ex chased him off and well threatened him. But when the guy said Your obviously not over her and jelous, ex said your stupid now leave her alone before I .... I'm confused as he says he doesn't want to be with me again etc. But when I asked if he misses me he said yes. When asked if he had cried he said yes. When my friend said to him "You can't tell yet you haven't had the chance to miss her" He said yep thats true. When I said maybe in a few months time he said "yeah maybe" When I tell him to go away if I don't mean anything or if he doesn't care he refuses. When I said so have you fallen out of love with me in 3 weeks he said no I was just unhappy. When I said are you over me he said I don't want to answer. When I asked if there had been any other girls since he said No, but it wouldn't be your business anyway. I'm very confused. I love him to pieces and I want my boyfriend and my best friend back.
D-Lish Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 It doesn't sound like this guy treats you very well! Everytime you argue, he breaks things off with you. That's not indicative of a healthy relationship! Why is it that you don't think you deserve better???
aerogurl87 Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Coming from someone who was in an unhealthy relationship (and this does sound unhealthy) I can say your best bet is to move on at this point. If you do get back together, give everything time to heal and I don't mean a few days. I mean months and maybe even years for you both to grow up, mature, and learn to have a healthy relationship. My ex told me he never wanted to see me again when he broke up with me almost a year and a half ago. Now we're meeting up again, but only because we've both grown and matured alot over the course of not being together. You two need to go and live separate lives and if you want to reconcile later on in life, fine. But if you do it now I can guarantee you it will lead to disaster.
Author Aisha4457 Posted January 11, 2011 Author Posted January 11, 2011 Well we only broke up 3 times including this time and we argued for about 6 months, he used to cry for me. If i went to leave grab me and cuddle me so I guess I kind of worded it wrong. I don't want to let go of him because he is everything to me and aside from the arguing we are perfect. I know I can relax a little I just need him to make a bit more of an effort and everything would be fine. I know we can do it aswell, he is just so angry at the moment with me I'm scared there will never be a chance
Treasa Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 "Well we only broke up 3 times including this time" Are you KIDDING ME?? Over how many years? ONLY three? Girl, my narcissistic, momma's boy ex broke up with me SIX TIMES over the course of six years. Why the hell I kept going back for more is beyond me. Oh yeah, it was because I loved him sooooooo much and he was my best friend (gag). Do yourself a huge favor and move on from this a-hole, take several months minimum to heal, and then resolve to never let any guy pull this crap with you again. Trust me, even if you two do get back together again, he'll only break things off. Go no contact and move on, no matter how much it hurts right now. I've been NC for over six months now, I promise you that it does get better, and you CAN be happy again. I was actually completely over my ex after three months. But I had to let go and move forward without him, and without the hope of ever getting him back. Any guy who doesn't value you enough to hold on to you can go ahead and f himself.
Karma20 Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Best advice anyone can give you, is to cut ties with him. You and him both have to emotionally heal from the toll of constant fighting before anything could be good between you two again. However, if he said he doesn't want to be with you ever again then you should believe him and move on.
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