Melodie Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Finally. Starting no contact with ex. I am finally putting the no contact rule into place. It is hard but because my ex and I lived together. He comes by and takes more of he's things every now and then. I made sure that I do not to beg and cry and look pathetic. Just held my head up high and showed that I accepted what was happening and let him do what he wanted. Know if I did do any of that he will just flip and it will make it harder for the both of us. Trying to show him that I am respecting he's needs and stuff. In him doing that as well I have been able to give him details about our rental property without having to phone or text him. Haven't done so for 4 days now. Although was very tempted to this morning. I managed to stopped myself to. Glad I did. Can the dumper really miss the dumpee with going no contact? I know it is a long shot. I am learning to let go. Everybody has been telling me to give him space. It is weird how this is motivating me to move on.
cerridwen Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 He comes by and takes more of he's things every now and then. I made sure that I do not to beg and cry and look pathetic. Just held my head up high and showed that I accepted what was happening and let him do what he wanted. I can't tell you what a lasting impression this makes. Stay on the high road melodie. Keep doing what you're doing. Don't give them anything to hate you for, no ugly comments, no petty arguing. Their last interactions with you will be what they remember most. Be mature, polite, as neutral as you can be. Though I can't say yours will return, I've had exes come back (after a year or more) and what I attribute it to was how I acted those last days/hours/moments (and staying out of contact). One ex was a total jerk and his last actions during the breakup were ugly. He tried to get me to fight with him but I just let his ugliness hang in the air, unanswered by me as I packed my things. After some time, he felt so guilty and regrets it still to this day. Stay classy Sydney.
Author Melodie Posted January 11, 2011 Author Posted January 11, 2011 (edited) No. Will not give him anything he can turn around and use against me. I want our last interactions to be on a positive note. He is angry and hurt and just wants out right now. I understand how and why it happened. What he is feeling about it. He says things won't change but if we really work hard at it. They can. Since he is in that frame of mine. Decided to back off (after caving and sending a few emails earlier) and let him work out in he's head if breaking up with me was really the right thing to do. Either that or start missing me. If not. Will just have to move on. Most of our relationship was good but and I treated him really well. Besides our little fall out. Hopefully he sees that and misses what we had... Time will tell. Right now but. Will just have to concentrate on bettering myself and doing my own thing. Edited January 11, 2011 by Melodie
Author Melodie Posted January 11, 2011 Author Posted January 11, 2011 Still so sad and hurt. After two weeks. I want him to know how broken up I am. Trying so hard not to text it to him! .
lee123 Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Still so sad and hurt. After two weeks. I want him to know how broken up I am. Trying so hard not to text it to him! . Keep it up (: Like you i went through i came on the forums for advice, i was broken down. It does get better. I thought no contact didn't work, it hurts for about a month and maybe more. I do still think about her, but i think i can do better now otherwise :/ Keep at it, no contact is the best you can do good luck
Colorless Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 It is such a difficult path, and I don't know the right words to guide people on the right path. I felt the pain you felt though, and I can only attribute it to feeling like I died inside. Yeah, things get easier in time, but that's little consolation for the isolation you feel right here right now. I hope you surround yourself by friends and stay out in public. But I know how bad the pain is. I wish no one had to feel it. I truly do. It's unfair and cruel.
Author Melodie Posted January 12, 2011 Author Posted January 12, 2011 (edited) I worked that out after sending emails. That pissed him off even more. He was like. Stop this. There is nothing more you can do. Still continued about 2 or 3 days later. Then decided to stop contact altogether. It was just like talking to a brick wall. Getting no response. That made me feel worse. Have gone 4 days without writing anything now. Trying to keep it together and not look so desperate to get him back now. Hoping by the way I acted the last two days he was here packing stuff up, he saw that. I feel cheated as well. After all I had done for him. Him being with me. Improved he's life immensely as well. Getting this kind of treatment in return is just so unfair. Colorless it does feel like that. Even my friend last weekend was like. I have never seen you so sad. It was good having her around a bit but. Agree with you there. I am spending time with family and friends but. Everyone is being really supportive and understanding which really helps. Edited January 12, 2011 by Melodie
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