musemaj11 Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 I doubt the guy actually gawked. The OP is probably just exaggerating it.
welikeincrowds Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 It's definitely reflexive. You have to notice that you're doing it and then stop yourself if you're interested in being modest. Some people's reflexes are slower than others'.
Ruby Slippers Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 I've only been with one guy who was obvious about it. And I guess I'm the only female on here who's going to admit it, but I hate when they do it. Yes, yes, I understand human nature blah blah blah. Doesn't mean I have to like it.
counterman Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 When I had a girlfriend, I did check other girls out. When I was with her, I occasionally noticed hot girls around but never stared at her or anything, though, I must admit it took a bit of control. Most guys I know do check girls out even if they're in a relationship. Those that don't have to really force themselves not to.
ConflictedGuy27 Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 OP, I honestly don't think some of the men on this forum are a good representation of the real world. I hang out with men and their gfs, a lot. I have almost never seen a man gawk at another woman in the way you describe (turning his head and following her for 10 seconds?!), while with his gf. It just doesn't happen. It's rude and classless IMO, and I personally think less of even single men if they do that. Noticing is normal. The key is noticing with class and subtlety, taking a glance instead of gawking like a prepubescent boy who'd never seen a woman before. you're assuming this was some average chick with an average ass. what if, my friend... what if this wasn't just an ass, what if, instead it was DAT ASS... the one that no man couldn't gawk at for any less than 10 whole seconds... I'm just saying it's possible. who knows, maybe you wouldn't have had the self control to last only 10 seconds. what if...
Els Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 I've only been with one guy who was obvious about it. And I guess I'm the only female on here who's going to admit it, but I hate when they do it. Yes, yes, I understand human nature blah blah blah. Doesn't mean I have to like it. That's what I don't understand. It is human nature to do a great many other things, most of which are frowned upon by society in general. Why is this so different? Why is it that not only is it acceptable to give in without restraint to one's 'nature' in this ONE aspect, but whomever dislikes it is 'wrong' for doing so?
carhill Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 So as not to appear as a liar and/or a eunuch, I just today ogled a few women, one walking the crosswalk while I waited for the light to turn. Tight jeans, boots and a wonderful walk she had My post prior was within the narrow context of the OP, when I'm out with the woman I'm in love with/married to, I do not look at, ogle, make crude comments about or otherwise engage other women. I respect my wife/GF too much to do that. Now, some might think that to be doormat behavior and not very dramatic, and I would agree with that to a point. However, a compatible woman would see that as gentlemanly behavior from someone who respects and desires *her* and would hopefully value it greatly. I used to walk behind my exW when shopping for that very reason, just to gaze at her wonderful figure. Who else would I possibly be interested in? She was who I was going home with.
daphne Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 Do all men check women out? Even if they're married or taken?[/b] Is this a serious question? Of course they do. You hope to get one that's discreet enough not to do it while you're around but they all do it. What's insulting is when they're checking out women that aren't as attractive and you don't get why. Personally, I can't be in a relationship with someone who does it. Cos I don't out of respect but I can start if a guy does it. And they tend to get more jealous over it. A clear no win situation.
Els Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 you're assuming this was some average chick with an average ass. what if, my friend... what if this wasn't just an ass, what if, instead it was DAT ASS... the one that no man couldn't gawk at for any less than 10 whole seconds... I'm just saying it's possible. who knows, maybe you wouldn't have had the self control to last only 10 seconds. what if... Then every other man (and half of the women) in the area would have been doing that, and I'm sure the OP would have noticed that.
Feelin Frisky Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 I know damn well I've never done this. Yet, I had to suffer the slings and arrows of being accused of it anyway.
refurb Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 Noticing is normal. The key is noticing with class and subtlety, taking a glance instead of gawking like a prepubescent boy who'd never seen a woman before. I agree. I think it's pretty disrespectful to fawn over another woman while in the company of a significant other. RF
Titania22 Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 Then every other man (and half of the women) in the area would have been doing that, and I'm sure the OP would have noticed that. That's making the assumption that the OP is observant of what is going on in her surroundings. Not everyone is observant like that. For example, when I was with my last boyfriend a few years back, we once had a threeway kiss with my girlfriend in the middle of a club. He was very aware of the stares of all the other men there, while I was completely oblivious to it.
Author Rinah Posted January 12, 2011 Author Posted January 12, 2011 Since everyone is assuming, I didn't say he was gawking. He was already looking in the store when he saw the woman walk by so he did a quick glance at her behind as she walked away. (He didn't turn his head just to look at the woman walk into the store, he was already there when he saw her walk in) There was no creepy look or anything, just a normal one. I suppose I didn't describe it well. I didn't really count the seconds, I just was trying to make the best example I could. Sorry for not being clear. Anyway, I let it go the day I noticed, I just posted to see if anyone else had input on the subject and how many other women's men did the same. I suppose I just wanted to see it from a male perspective and I do now, thanks so much everyone for replying, negative or positive.
tigressA Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 What you just described, Rinah, seems fine to me. What would be distressing is if he had gawked and/or stared for too long a time. I know "everyone does it" but I also hate when my BF checks out other women when I'm around. My last ex did that all the time--he would literally gawk and also have comments. It pissed me off to no end and made me feel tremendously insecure. He'd always say "At least I'm being honest". UGH. He even did it when we were out on a double date with his married friends and they both looked at me like they were really sorry for me.
Author Rinah Posted January 12, 2011 Author Posted January 12, 2011 I also agree, I think that gawking and staring is just disrespectful. He basically just had his little head glance, then looked back at me, who was looking at him. He was embarassed Haha. He apologized for looking, and told me that it was just a glance, and that he wouldn't have stopped & stared. I don't appreaciate the looks while were out together either,but I suppose im guilty too on rare occasion. Tigress, that sounds like a terrible situation! but he's a ex for a reason, so joy to that What really creeps me out is when the male gender looks at you with a inappropiate look or bends over to get a better view of things. I've had men look at me that way before.
shadowofman Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 There was a study I read a while back, and you can experiment yourself. Men have a natural tendency to seek out women visually, much higher then women tend to seek out men. The next time your riding down the interstate highway, look at the people in the other cars as they pass. A huge percentage of the men will meet your gaze. If you are a female, men will hold the gaze longer than if you are a man. Women tend not to look at others at all. As a man, I can honestly say that I look at most people I pass. And to a minor degree, I am looking for pretty women.
ConflictedGuy27 Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 all jokes aside, men appreciate the female form. ladies, the guy you're with (were with in the past) sized up what you were packing in the same manner. yes, it's innate. guys love T&A, period. with regard to conduct, I've seen this slip both ways. I'm among the camp that can shift their head (ever so slightly) and turn the hell out of my eyes in order to see what should be admired without getting busted (more often than not). then there's the other camp that can only look straight, apparently... T&A's gotta be front & center under any given circumstance. okay, to each their own. ladies, we look; we admire; we fantisize; we watch porn; & we talk about all of the above to our buddies. this is how guys operate. do we love the girls who put up with our bs & opt to choose us over all the others, of course we do. that's why we look so hard. we'd love to smack the ass of the chick walking down the street; fact is, we can't. cause those of us that are taken (and true to our word) said we wouldn't. we got some ass to smack already is the bottom line. be happy about that ladies; & just let us fantasize if we truly agree not to touch. [stepping off my soap box]
fishtaco Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 This is like the porn issue. Men watch porn, usually because they like it. Some women would interpret it as an insult because to her, it means she's not good enough. Is it really because she's not good enough? Not necessarily, but if she feels that way, then she needs to find a guy that doesn't watch porn. Same thing can be said of sex toys. The dildo is bigger than the boyfriend's penis. So does it mean he's not good enough for her? Not necessarily, but some guys think so. So those guys should find a woman that don't use sex toys. It's not who's right and who's wrong, it's not even about the truth. Perception is the only thing that counts. I happen to think these things are no big deal. Big dildos, porn, checking out other people, whatever. If she wants me and we go home together, then I'm the winner. So I would prefer someone that think the same way as me. But that's just me.
phineas Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 My friends & I are like secret service when checking other women out when we are with our women. Not only do we rarely get caught we are able to subtly hint to each other with a finger wave, head nod, or eye sweep that there is eye candy. However, sometimes we did it on purpose to be funny if a woman had gigantic breasts for instance. Guy 1. "hey, what time do you want to do that thing" Guy 2. "I don't know, what time is good for you" Guy 3. "oh about 3 o'clock" (indicating where to look) The funny thing is my ex-wife never got mad if she caught me looking. Until she herself was cheating. Then she'd harp on it for days. But I now know she was just looking for a way to justify HER cheating to herself.
Sunkissedkate Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 When I was with my ex he use to do that all the time, we were together for 4 years, and after about 2 months of dating i couldnt take it anymore and so we talked about it, and it all came down to we can look at the menu we just cant order. and after about 6 months we use to walk through the mall together and i would lean over to him and say holy lick shes hawt! look at her ass! omg i would tap that. and it turned into a game for us, the jealousy faded quickly, but yes at first it bugged me very much and he would tell me he wasnt looking at her. But after a while the insecurity fades and you can sit back and laugh about it. We are still best friends and even tho we are both somewhat single we can gauck at who we want, and he usually askes me do u think i can get with her.. and i do the same. its actually quite funny. but once your comfortable with a person everything can turn into fun.
sumdude Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 My dad was 79 and in a wheelchair. Up until almost the end of his life he was still checking women out. He couldn't do anything but we're just made that way. We had some fun enjoying the nurses during our regular visits to the doctors and hospital for tests etc. Of course he and I weren't gawking or ogling. There's a way to be discreet and a gentleman while still enjoying the view. He was like this up until almost the end. So I figure as a straight man the day I stop looking at and appreciating attractive women is the day I start dying. Back when I was married I would notice other women for sure. But it would be discreet and I only really wanted my wife at the time anyhow.
Love Letter Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 Everyone does it sometimes. I'm quite good at avoiding it, especially if I'm with female company.
soserious1 Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 I remember those great nights out with my ex-husband, him being in mid sentence when suddenly some pretty woman would appear, he would stop speaking and do the head swivel thing.I'd lower my eyes to my plate while he gawked, feeling like a bit of crap that he'd scraped from the bottom of his shoe. When he'd turn back to me and ask "what was that you were saying?" I'd reply "nothing, nothing at all" I'd continue to play with my food till I could summon a waiter to bring me the bill so I could get the hell out of there. Some places had so many pretty women that any sort of conversation with the man was impossible. Our evenings out went this way a lot, I stopped wanting to go out anyplace with him.
alphamale Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 Do all men check women out? Even if they're married or taken? yea pretty much, if she's attractive
soserious1 Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 yea pretty much, if she's attractive so then why bother going anyplace with a wife or girlfriend? I would much rather have stayed home alone than to have to sit though multiple 10-30 second awkward silences while the man drooled over other women. Why not go out alone to gawk?
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