RunDMCruz Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 I'm David. I'm 27 years old i've been with the same woman for the last 12 years. We got married at 18 (I know young). We have been best friends up untill the last few years. On saturday she told me she's not in love with me, and I should move out. We have a son age 6. Everything happend infront of him. It broke his heart when he saw me packing up. I know I'm a great father. I give my family all of me. I try to spend all my time with them. I'm a family man and I love having a family. I know I'm not the best husband. I do have some issues with loosing my temper I've punched a few holes in the wall knocked some things off the table in the past. I'm know I'm in the wrong for it and I wish I could change. She's left me before cause of this issuse. I've calm down alot since I was younger. But I still need to work on myself. I love my wife and I want to win her back. She said it's to late and I'll never change. As she telling me all this she's craying I still see there some love in her left for me. I'm lost and don't know what to do I'm sleeping on my moms couch I miss my family I miss my home and my son. I'm gonna change this time I know I am. Can a woman fall back in love after she's been let down so many times? I love her, I'm fathful, I've never cheated, I don't go out to bars or clubs or hang around single guys who do that.
hopesndreams Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 I do have some issues with loosing my temper I've punched a few holes in the wall knocked some things off the table in the past. Have you ever physically struck her?
Author RunDMCruz Posted January 11, 2011 Author Posted January 11, 2011 Yes I have hit her. We were at a party and I drank way to much this was before our son. I don't remember much cause I was drunk but I guess she got mad at me on the drive home and started yelling at me and I snapped and hit her on the top of her head while she was driving. I don't remember doing that but when she told me what happend I hated myself for it. I don't think she's ever forgiven me for it I haven't forgiven myself for it. I don't even like to think about it cause it just hurts to know I would do that. That was the only time i've ever hit her. I know I made a mistake I'm man enough to admit what I did wrong and face it head on. I am seeking help for my temper and how I can change. I'm gonna meet a counsler this week. I know it's to late to be doing this and I should of done it a long time ago.
sirweasles Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Until the devorce papers are signed you still have a chance You need to prove yourself now. dont throw your counseling in her face let her notice the changes in you. I have found the best way to vent anger is to write it down or type it up then go back and read it when youve calmed down. you would be amazed at how stupid it all was and will hopfully learn from it no more yelling and absolutly no more tantrums find a hobbie that takes your mind off of your anger do what ever you have too and I would suggest no more drinking that brings on alot of anger in people
Author RunDMCruz Posted January 11, 2011 Author Posted January 11, 2011 Oh I haven't been Drunk in a long time I have a beer now and then but the way I'm feeling I won't even put a sip to my lips. She's been my first girlfriend my first real love. She's my first for everything. I don't even know how to date, how to pick up girls, she's all I've ever known. I know she deserves better. She's an awesome person. I wanna be that better man for her I wanna give her what she needs. After she told me she wants a divorce and she's not in love with me it's broke me as a man. I know I can change and I will but i'm scared it might be to late and by the time I do change she'll be completly over me. She said it's better for our son that we are not together but his heart was broken when she told him we won't live together. I don't know what else to do. I'm lost. I'm scared I'm hurt i'm sad I miss my son I'm alot of things.
hopesndreams Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 I'm sleeping on my moms couch I miss my family I miss my home and my son. Move back into the family home. She wants out of the M? She's the one that leaves.
Author RunDMCruz Posted January 11, 2011 Author Posted January 11, 2011 I don't wanna get in anymore fights with her. It's okay that I leave.
You Go Girl Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 After meeting with your counselor a few times, ask her to go with you. She needs to see that you are working on your anger issue. If she refuses to go, then she is at least temporarily done with the relationship. The thing about people though, is that they do vascillate between ending something and keeping it going. So there is still a chance, but she might not be open to that chance at this time. Sometimes you have to be patient. I think you have realized though that there will be no more chances for your temper to get out of control. Those days are over.
JustJoe Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 OP, the most important thing is for her to be a part of your counseling. She must see progress and be a part of that progress. That you are seeking help is good, but in order for it to have any meaning for her, she needs to feel that you both are on the same page. If she doesn't want to be involved, your chances are slim, of reconciling.
2.50 a gallon Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Yes you can win her back. Get your hide signed up for anger managment classes before the sun sets. Are you aware that by moving out, she can claim in court that you have abandoned her. Move back in and take it like a man
Chi townD Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 I don't wanna get in anymore fights with her. It's okay that I leave. And if she does go for a divorce, this could be viewed as abandonment by the courts!!!!!
Chi townD Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Translation? She gets the house, full custody of the kid/ kids and paying allomony and child support. Let the courts tell you to go. I know you want to save the marriage, but you need to start protecting yourself and your rights. Talk to a lawyer.
You Go Girl Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 She doesn't get the house if you get a separation agreement with a lawyer. It's only abandonment if you don't get a separation agreement. However, you move back in, lose your temper, she can call the cops and have you removed. I wouldn't move back in if I couldn't control my temper 100%. I'd get the separation agreement instead. Disclaimer: I'm no lawyer. Talk to one.
Sunkissedkate Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 When was the last time you lost your temper enough to punch a wall... ya u might have smacked the back of her head while you were drunk, did you right out punch her no, and you said that was before you son was born... that would have made you what 21........... lets be real here.... most males dont mature past the completely loosing their temper until they are 25.. but i would go back to your home, even if you sleep on the couch at home, but i wouldnt leave your home, or your son. and while there show her that you are controlling your anger and that you are willing to get help for it, bc her and your son are very important to you .
Author RunDMCruz Posted January 13, 2011 Author Posted January 13, 2011 I'm sure it's over I went to a counsling session for myself then we had a couples counseling and she's pretty much over me. She said she doesn't know if she could ever feel anything for me again. Even if I do change. she so angery and hurt by me I don't think she could ever forgive me. GOD it hurts to know I was the one who f-ed all this up. To know I could of changed things had I acted sooner. She told me I should of never let her fall out of love with her to begin with. My heart is broken but I understand were she's coming from all I can do is better myself. We grew up taking care of each other. I'm gonna be 28 next week and I'm scared of what's in store for me.
rugbyplayer1990 Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 Hey Run - I read your profile and it must be so tough, I'm going through the same thing.. Do you have any updates since last you posted..thanks
Author RunDMCruz Posted January 19, 2011 Author Posted January 19, 2011 Hey Run - I read your profile and it must be so tough, I'm going through the same thing.. Do you have any updates since last you posted..thanks It's still the same. I just don't understand her though she hasn't put in any effort to try to get the divorce going I asked her and she seemed shocked that I asked her. Evertime she sees me she still get's teared up. It is still tuff I love her but if it's over it's over and I need to work on moving on. In my heart I feel like later on we might get back together. I have to pick up my kid from school every once in a while and she offered for me to sleep on the couch so I don't have to drive back and forth from one town to the next. I'm trying not to push her away and give her space. I'm still lost on what to do.
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