This Hurts Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 A while ago someone I admire made a comment which, in short, implied that the only way to really cope and heal through something is by just sitting down and letting yourself feel what you feel. Of course, this doesn't mean to dwell, but to just allow yourself to feel whatever it is you're feeling. He says it's not good to go and try to suppress those feelings, or run way from them by drinking, smoking, having sex, emotional eating, etc, and he found that the best thing you can do is just sit there and allow yourself to feel what you're feeling and even though it'll be hard, the worst will come, and then one day you'll wake up and it won't be there anymore. What brought me to think about that was a little rejection from my ex. Now, my ex didn't actually reject me because I haven't spoken to her since last time we did, but I had a realization (an epiphany, if you will) that gave me that same, awful feeling of rejection (y'know, the feeling you got when he/she said "I don't want to be with you anymore"). I simply realized that I needed to move on and that I've been subconsciously waiting for her this whole time in some way (something I honestly had not noticed until this moment). When the breakup first happened, the first thing I looked for was any sort of relief from the pain and although people say to allow yourself that for a little while before picking yourself up, sadly, this habit carried on with me. As I realized this just now, I sat here with those familiar feelings from many, many months ago, and I had no idea what to do. Usually even if I'm confused by these feelings, I have a temptation to do SOMETHING, anything, to relieve those feelings and for once, I didn't. I didn't have the temptation to call up my dealer, or call a friend and run to their house in hopes of some distraction, I didn't have the temptation to drown myself in my video games, or go to sleep in hopes of fast forwarding time, or eat something that's terrible for me, nothing. And since I had no idea what to do, for once, I just sat there and allowed myself to feel. It hurts, my chest feels heavy, my eyes hurt (though I haven't cried), my head hurts, I feel tired, my eyes feel so much more sensitive to light right now, and overall I feel like sh*t, but for the first time, I feel like this isn't about her. And even though this is really scary, I finally feel like I'm standing up. I just hope this isn't temporary.
KYoung2200 Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Allowing yourself to feel your emotions is good. I have been doing that and I'm only on day 4 of the breakup. I'll sit down and think. And sometimes I'll cry. If I cry, I keep thinking of things that bother me about the relationship. After I'm done crying, I feel a LOT better. What Hurts is saying is true, and helps a lot.
WTRanger Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Resisting the downs will only prolong the up. If you are sad, feel sad. If you are happy, feel happy.
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