angelj Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Hi Guys! Just a few questions... I just started dating someone I have known most of my life but have not always been in touch with. We are very excited and are very into one another but taking things day by day. We have spoke about the future but I currently live over an hour away and will not be in close proximity for a few more months, so we really only get to see each other once a week or so. (which is fine for now!) he has hinted in the past that he would like to live together when I move back into town and even my parents have said they think its a great idea. I guess I am wondering how to bring this up without making a stink over it? I haven't ever lived with anyone I have been dating before, as a matter of fact this is probably the most normal relationship I have been in for the last 10 years. Also, wondering if you have any thoughts on the fact that we communicate a few times a week. I am totally ok with it - but I am accustomed to other men who are in constant communication via text etc every single day (which usually led to them flaking out) Thoughts? Geeze, for a practically 30 year old, I am a total novice at dating! All thoughts from both genders are welcome. Thank guys!!
catgotyourtongue Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Hi Guys! Just a few questions... I just started dating someone I have known most of my life but have not always been in touch with. .. he has hinted in the past that he would like to live together when I move back into town and even my parents have said they think its a great idea. Also, wondering if you have any thoughts on the fact that we communicate a few times a week. I am totally ok with it - but I am accustomed to other men who are in constant communication via text etc every single day (which usually led to them flaking out) Thoughts? Geeze, for a practically 30 year old, I am a total novice at dating! All thoughts from both genders are welcome. Thank guys!! First of all, yahoo and I hope it works out for both of you. Secondly, I suggest you go slowly and not move to rush in. You can know someone your whole life as a friend, and dating them is a whole different animal, just is. I don't know the dynamics, how close you are, were, or much but I would caution you to be careful with the whole "moving in" thing, as you are just now getting to know eachother in a "dating" situation. If he is for you, and for him, give it time, get to know him, and maybe there is not a need to rush. You waited this long to "find" eachother in this way, why rush something so huge? SO more importantly, how DO you feel about all this? The pace, the situation, your gut? Do you believe it's love and just know this is the man you want to be with? Do you know him well enough as a boyfriend to make a good call as to how this would work? If it were me, and it's not, lol, I would date him longer before I moved in with him. You may want to decide if you want to move in based on "honeymoon stage" feelings, or give it more time. But, it sounds like you are happy and eager, and it's what YOU want that matters, truly, not what we think. Good luck
Author angelj Posted January 11, 2011 Author Posted January 11, 2011 Thank you for that great response. We had not been in touch in 10 years! It was such a random thing that we reconnected and we have just hit it off once again since it happened. Well to be honest, I was very weary in the beginning and nervous that we didn't talk every day and I was so scared. But, I had to relax and realize that it is ok to take things slowly. I trust that he is very sincere in what he says and I have met all of his friends and family so far. We have a great time together and I like our bond. You have a very good point however, I really do need to get to know him a bit better. That is what scares me about co habitation. I always hear the horror stories if you jump the gun. I am ok with the light contact and communication. Of course, it would be great to talk every single day (I wouldn't tire of him) but also, once again - those types of relationships that happen and start off so fast and overwhelming have always ended. I am trying REALLY hard to take it day by day. I tend to rush into things... I guess every relationship is different. I truly am happy where we are at, there is no pressure and no major issues. From what I feel, we have a strong understanding of our wants and that we do want to spend our futures together. But for now, we both have things to work out so slow is good. I think it is love I have never felt this way before. It is exciting...
catgotyourtongue Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Thank you for that great response. We had not been in touch in 10 years! It was such a random thing that we reconnected and we have just hit it off once again since it happened. Well to be honest, I was very weary in the beginning and nervous that we didn't talk every day and I was so scared. But, I had to relax and realize that it is ok to take things slowly. I trust that he is very sincere in what he says and I have met all of his friends and family so far. We have a great time together and I like our bond. You have a very good point however, I really do need to get to know him a bit better. That is what scares me about co habitation. I always hear the horror stories if you jump the gun. I am ok with the light contact and communication. Of course, it would be great to talk every single day (I wouldn't tire of him) but also, once again - those types of relationships that happen and start off so fast and overwhelming have always ended. I am trying REALLY hard to take it day by day. I tend to rush into things... I guess every relationship is different. I truly am happy where we are at, there is no pressure and no major issues. From what I feel, we have a strong understanding of our wants and that we do want to spend our futures together. But for now, we both have things to work out so slow is good. I think it is love I have never felt this way before. It is exciting... I am so excited for you, it's nice to hear the thrill in your tone! If you know you have a tendency to move fast and rush, then perhaps chill a little with this. Since you have met the family, and you do know him, you don't need to worry about his history as if it is a blank slate. You can skip some steps perhaps because of that, and that's awesome. Well skip is not the right word, you know what I mean, yes? But, it is new, you hardly know how you operate as a longer term couple, and once you move in, you move in, you are there. It's such a bigger step than just getting along great and even perhaps being in love. But i am so glad you feel tingles and love feelings, that's huge. Enjoy it at a safe distance, and learn more about him over time. He could be the best guy on this planet, but relationships still take time and work and you just are so newly into it, time could be a great thing to have on your side. No rushing, just relax, and enjoy and enjoy and enjoy. You only get to do this beginning stage once in a relationship, right? Be in in this stage!!! Have fun
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