Cassandra92 Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 Hey, new member here. I thought I would share my situation and see if anybody has been through something similar. Long story short, my boyfriend of over a year and a half and I broke up a month ago because in a few weeks I'm going to university in another city. It's something we have always known is coming, pretty much from the day we met I had told him my plans to go and study at this university because it had the best things to offer me. I delayed going for a year pretty much so that we could be together, I even tried going to the same university as him to try and find something I liked, but I wasn't happy and decided I needed to do the best thing for my future, even though I love him so much. We tried to hold it together and I was prepared to do a long distance relationship, but it was too hard for him to deal with the thought of me leaving and everything fell apart. The thing is, we haven't stopped seeing each other since we broke up. We promised to be friends, and because I was so devestated about the end of our romantic relationship, even though in recent weeks things had been less than perfect, I was eager to start our 'friendship'. Every time we would see each other though, we would just end up talking about how sad we were and trying to figure something out. We haven't been able to decide on anything, but I know we still want to be together. He wants me to stay, but I can't. He said his New Years resolution was for us to stay close, and he still wants to be able to hold my hand/hug me/kiss me when we see each other. I would love that, but at the same time I want some sort of commitment from him, that even though we aren't technically 'together' in the way that we used to be, that he will still be there for me and won't resent me for going and will take an interest in what I'm doing. I know it sounds like even though we said we have broken up, we are still acting like we are together in some way. It's just that finding the middle ground is hard, a relationship we can both be happy with. I really do not want to lose him, and I know he doesn't want to lose me. I want to cut out all the drama and make the most of the few weeks I have left, and the way I see it either way we are going to be sad when I actually get on the plane. I have booked flights to come back home for the university holidays, so we would know we are going to see each other again. Has anybody been in a situation like this before?
Buzzkillington Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 Are his main problems with transport? How far away are you at university and is he being fair (Hasn't got a car, etc) by not wanting to commit because of the distance? Sorry that's not very helpful but just to get an idea of why he can't do the long distance thing.
Author Cassandra92 Posted January 11, 2011 Author Posted January 11, 2011 The university I'm going to is a 9 hour drive away by car, which equates to a one hour plane ride. So one hour isn't long, but flights can be expensive and we'd only be able to see each other every 2 months or so. He does have a car, but he could not easily take time off from his own studies and work to drive down and see me very often. So yeah, I think the distance is probably a main issue.
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