Butterflying Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 Let's say you are fortunate enough to meet more than one person with whom you share chemistry on a variety of levels. What do you tell each person about your whereabouts if they so happen to ask cassually, "So what are you doing this Friday night?" Do you tell them you have a date with someone else you met on the online dating site? Do you tell them that you've met someone else on the site you really, really like and have no idea which you like more? And if things continue to go well with each person for a long period of time, lets say a month or two, at what point do you make a decison to choose only one of them? It can be difficult to manage multiple relationships at once. And how do you know which is the best choice?
worlybear Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 Let's say you are fortunate enough to meet more than one person with whom you share chemistry on a variety of levels. What do you tell each person about your whereabouts if they so happen to ask cassually, "So what are you doing this Friday night?" Do you tell them you have a date with someone else you met on the online dating site? Do you tell them that you've met someone else on the site you really, really like and have no idea which you like more? And if things continue to go well with each person for a long period of time, lets say a month or two, at what point do you make a decison to choose only one of them? It can be difficult to manage multiple relationships at once. And how do you know which is the best choice? You deal with it by being HONEST with everybody. It's called integrity.
Lemontang Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 You deal with it by being HONEST with everybody. It's called integrity. So true. I did this. I've dated multiple people at the same time via online dating. The number one thing I told them though was I was openly dating and wasn't prepared to settle until I found one that I could see real potential with. I'm more of a lets be friends first before we take this any further kind of guy. On a more shallow note I think telling them that made the dating more interesting, as it's almost like they wanted to compete to get me.
zengirl Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Let's say you are fortunate enough to meet more than one person with whom you share chemistry on a variety of levels. What do you tell each person about your whereabouts if they so happen to ask cassually, "So what are you doing this Friday night?" Do you tell them you have a date with someone else you met on the online dating site? Do you tell them that you've met someone else on the site you really, really like and have no idea which you like more? And if things continue to go well with each person for a long period of time, lets say a month or two, at what point do you make a decison to choose only one of them? It can be difficult to manage multiple relationships at once. And how do you know which is the best choice? I would be honest, but discrete. If I had a 1st/2nd/3rd/whatever date on Friday, and my Wednesday date asked me what my plans for the weekend were, I'd begin by saying when I was free (assuming that's his main interest) and if he asked about nights when I was not free, I'd say, "I have plans with a friend. I have a dinner. etc" whatever the truth was, without saying "I have a date." Not because I'm trying to be sneaky, but because I don't want to be rude.
Jazzari Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 I don't see why you have to offer an excuse at all. Simply say that you're sorry you can't make it that night and ask for an alternate date if you are interested.
oaks Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Let's say you are fortunate enough to meet more than one person with whom you share chemistry on a variety of levels. What do you tell each person about your whereabouts if they so happen to ask cassually, "So what are you doing this Friday night?" If you already have plans that you don't want to talk about then tell him that you already have plans. If you thought he was asking because he would then follow up with "so can we meet?" then you could suggest another time when you are free if you want to. In the very early stages of dating (assuming there's no expectation of exclusivity) I don't think you have any obligation to share what your plans are all the time, whether it's just meeting friends or going on another date or having an early night because you have an important meeting at work the next day or whatever. (Of course if you never tell them what you're doing you'll run out of stuff to talk about, so don't go overboard on the secrecy.) Do you tell them you have a date with someone else you met on the online dating site? I'm never quite sure about this. If they share your views on multi-dating then it shouldn't be a problem, if they don't then it could be. And how do you know which is the best choice? Are they both equally ready for an exclusive relationship with you? (ask them how they would feel about that, or about being your boyfriend)
Jazzari Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 <snip> And if things continue to go well with each person for a long period of time, lets say a month or two, at what point do you make a decison to choose only one of them? It can be difficult to manage multiple relationships at once. And how do you know which is the best choice? If you have trouble making a choice then maybe neither one is right. I would think that the right guy would knock you off your feet. You'd know it.
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