Dorian85 Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 hey everyone. So I know this situation that I'm in has probably been talked abut to DEATH on these forums. but I'd like to get some perspective on this. In a nutshell: Ex wen't away in November by herself.. I was eventually meeting up with her in early December, so we would only be apart for 2 1/2 weeks. 2 weeks into her trip, she has a "change of heart" and thinks that while she is away, we should "both be single". Now to me when i heard that, RED FLAGS started coming up like crazy lol. It became pretty obvious to me that she either A) met another guy when she was there. Or B) WANTED to be single so she could mess around while she was there (of course she didn't admit to either scenario). In either case, both scenarios seemed ****ed up to me. Considering we were together for a year before she wen't away...it didn't feel so good knowing that she could throw all that away in a matter of 2 weeks. Long story short...I agreed to the "break", knowing that situation A or B was probably the REAL reason why she wanted a break. anyways, Have been in N.C since December. But all of a sudden a week before she is returning home...GUESS WHAT? The inevitable "hows it going" Email from her. So, how would you guys handle this. Stick with N.C? Or agree to meet up and have that messy closure talk???
soleharmony1123 Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 ...So I know this situation that I'm in has probably been talked abut to DEATH on these forums. but I'd like to get some perspective on this. ... Now to me when i heard that, RED FLAGS started coming up like crazy lol. It became pretty obvious to me that she either A) met another guy when she was there. Or B) WANTED to be single so she could mess around while she was there (of course she didn't admit to either scenario). In either case, both scenarios seemed ****ed up to me. Considering we were together for a year before she wen't away...it didn't feel so good knowing that she could throw all that away in a matter of 2 weeks. Long story short...I agreed to the "break", knowing that situation A or B was probably the REAL reason why she wanted a break. anyways, Have been in N.C since December. But all of a sudden a week before she is returning home...GUESS WHAT? The inevitable "hows it going" Email from her. So, how would you guys handle this. Stick with N.C? Or agree to meet up and have that messy closure talk??? STICK TO NC with a vengeance. You don't need to meet up with her for closure. More than likely that's not her intent anyway. Instead, she's testing the waters by tossing out crumbs to you so she can see if you're still there waiting around for her...one of the many cruel games exes play. YOU give CLOSURE to the relationship and to yourself by sticking with NC.
Leandro Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 well, y'all are broken up now, right? I would just stick to NC. Don't need girls like her.
I have no title Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 How long did you stay NC? I would not take this email as an attempt to reconcile or as anything good at all. People that dump their parnters all of a sudden like that, just contact them with this standard "How are you?" either cause: 1. they are bored or feeling sad at some point, and they know that if they contact you, they would most probably receive a warm and sweet answer. 2. they are testing the waters and want to see if you're still dying after them, which will feed their ego. I would even add that women dumpers are more likely to contact their EXs for the above reasons, than men dumpers. Women need attention and caress, much more often than men do. Especially if there is nobody around to give them that attention, they resort to their EX's. However, I would not generalize this. My advice: Don't take this email as something serious, and be sceptical to it. I would refuse to see her as well - you are not over her, and I can give you a 99% guarantee that this date will most likely dissapoint you and not meet your expectations. It might only make you suffer and think about her more than she deserves. If she would really want to talk to you - she would call you. If she would really want to see you - she would stand at your door begging for you to go for a lunch with her. Unless she does it, do not take her "heart teasers" serious. You might start thinking "oh she probably wants me back,she's missing me" and become emotional about it, and then imagine she will find someone else who would give her the necessary attention, and she will forget about you within a second. Stay NC, if she will REALLY want you back, or want to see you or talk to you, she will do what I said above. P.S: if somebody dumped you, it is their job to make you want to give your attention to them. And if they are doing everything besides "trying hard to make you want them", you shouldn't even bother about those small signs of attention they sometimes send. Hope I have helped
poorguy Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 STICK TO NC with a vengeance. You don't need to meet up with her for closure. More than likely that's not her intent anyway. Instead, she's testing the waters by tossing out crumbs to you so she can see if you're still there waiting around for her...one of the many cruel games exes play. YOU give CLOSURE to the relationship and to yourself by sticking with NC. I agree with this. It hasn't been nearly long enough for you to have contact yet. If she wanted to see you or more she would have said that
timchambo Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 (edited) sorry wrong thread Edited January 17, 2011 by timchambo
Recommended Posts