valdeetz1 Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 So have any of you had/ known someone/ are the victim of the GIGS break up and the ex came back? How long did it take and where you able to work through it? I'm really interested in guys with GIGS- I am the female suffering from the GIGS break up due to him having it. I know I love him with all my heart, and I can't help but feel like in the end everything will be alright. There is a divine plan- and I know it will be alright in the end with or without him. See original post here: Broken Dreams (long) for back story. At the same token, I am just curious as to how long it takes men to go through GIGS- longer or shorter then women; or does each case vary. Of course I'm interested in guys suffering with me to hear about their ex's cases of GIGS.
poorguy Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 I really GIGS is much more of a female thing than a guy thing...This is a really good question but I've never had it. Most guys won't sacrifice a relationship because they usually don't have the number of people pulling them into soemthing new and more exciting. If I can come up with anything I will post it here
Leandro Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 I'm with Poorguy. I think it's more of a girl things than a guy thing.
ginastar Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 really? I think it would be more of a guy thing. More girls than guys want to settle down and have kids. Plus, Im a girl and I think my ex has it.
poorguy Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 Way more of a girld thing!!! Like as a rule. I've been thinking about this question since I posted a reply as still I can't even think of a guy who had it. I have known plenty of girls though. I can tell you that all 3 of my LTR'S ended because of it. One of whom I was engaged to. I will also say that by nature I'm a laid back really good guy wo just isn't into the whole party life anymore and really stopped all of that madness when I was 23 or so. Kinda burned out young on that one. What I will say is 2 of the 3 came back to me or wanted to. The first one was in a year and the second was about 1.5 years later. The 3rd has been gone now for I think 8 months. So if history repeats itself as we all know has a tendency to she'll come back around in another 7 or 8 months after her new guy goes down in flames or realizes what she lost...I will also add that all 3 had new guys within a very very very short amount of time after we split up-That's the key I think. I'd they been normal and waited out the pain, and healed, like they should have I don;t think they would have come back
Leandro Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 really? I think it would be more of a guy thing. More girls than guys want to settle down and have kids. Plus, Im a girl and I think my ex has it. Yes, really . My ex actually told me to go settle down. lol. I'm actually fine with settling down, and I'm 20. I do believe guys get it, but not as much as girls.
Karma20 Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 One of my exes had it. He came crying back after 6 months. We stayed together for a few years after that but I fell out of love with him. A lot of guys have GIS, they usually come back but they can also leave again quickly. Idk too many girls who have had it.
ginastar Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 wow i guess it depends on the person, cause actually I dont know anyone who wanted to settle down at 20!! thats too young. if you were in a relationship i think you may eventually get it yourself! go enjoy life and live it up!!! your 20!
Leandro Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 wow i guess it depends on the person, cause actually I dont know anyone who wanted to settle down at 20!! thats too young. if you were in a relationship i think you may eventually get it yourself! go enjoy life and live it up!!! your 20! LOL I know. But im not looking to settle. Just fine with it. A lot of people say I'm way more mature for my age. I don't about that. I was in a relationship but i never got it. I just think it's different for everyone. I might get it later in life. So in my eyes. Girls get it more.
Author valdeetz1 Posted January 11, 2011 Author Posted January 11, 2011 One of my exes had it. He came crying back after 6 months. Interesting. Did he have a relationship during this time? Way more of a girld thing!!! Like as a rule. I've been thinking about this question since I posted a reply as still I can't even think of a guy who had it. I have known plenty of girls though. I can tell you that all 3 of my LTR'S ended because of it. One of whom I was engaged to. I will also say that by nature I'm a laid back really good guy wo just isn't into the whole party life anymore and really stopped all of that madness when I was 23 or so. Kinda burned out young on that one. What I will say is 2 of the 3 came back to me or wanted to. The first one was in a year and the second was about 1.5 years later. The 3rd has been gone now for I think 8 months. So if history repeats itself as we all know has a tendency to she'll come back around in another 7 or 8 months after her new guy goes down in flames or realizes what she lost...I will also add that all 3 had new guys within a very very very short amount of time after we split up-That's the key I think. I'd they been normal and waited out the pain, and healed, like they should have I don;t think they would have come back I do think its more of a girl thing- judging by the amount of posters and victims- majority men. But it can happen to guys- my opinion is guys that havent done a lot of oat sowing or chick chasing. My ex had only ever been with me- so I'm living proof that men can suffer from GIGS as well. Classic head on GIGS and in a new relationship within 5 days after BU. Of course I think the cataclysm for his brought on GIGS was his accident. He's obviously super confused to anyone who knows him. But anyways... I do beleive its more common in girls. I myself had a possible mild case at a point when me and my ex were in a LDR ish setting-he was working away and was gone 3/4 weeks of the month. I think that having that space gave me time to work through it. At first I was glad, started partying more in hs absence- hanging out with guy friends. I had oppurtunities to be a horrible GF, but I had more respect for myself and my man. I never cheated but I have to sadly admit that I had thought about breaking it off. But I burnt out rather quickly and after about 5 months when he quit that job I was through it, and happy to have him home. (and very glad I hadnt left him) I'm planning on just giving him time and space. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best. I do know that I have the peace of mind knowing that no one will ever care for him the exact way that I do- and that I am a rare find. Not being concieted. But I do know that most women now a days would curse him and write him off as a loser for doing what he is. And I can honestly say I do hope this works out to bring him to realize what we share, and that he appreciates it more if he returns.
Leandro Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 I'm planning on just giving him time and space. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best. I do know that I have the peace of mind knowing that no one will ever care for him the exact way that I do- and that I am a rare find. Not being concieted. But I do know that most women now a days would curse him and write him off as a loser for doing what he is. And I can honestly say I do hope this works out to bring him to realize what we share, and that he appreciates it more if he returns. Sounds good. I still believe girls have it more than guys . Not saying guys don't have it at all, but not as much as girls.
AC06 Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Definitely a girl thing. Had first major girlfriend leave me, gave EVERYTHING to try to save our relationship when she ended it. Actually screw the story. Conclusion is, yes, she came back, and no, it didn't work, because she took so long to break off her new relationship that it was clearly not something I wanted any more.
I have no title Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 I would say it is equally the guy's and girl's thing. I know about 4 girl-friends who had their boyfriends leave them because of the GIGS and comming back within a period of 0.5 - 1 year. The worst is that my recent ex also broke up with me because of the GIGS after we've been living together for nearly 8 months, so I know what that is. Guys also have it, especially the players, or on the opposite- the ones who didn't manage to have enough of flirting, sex, and party. My bf is quite childish and he wasn't prepared for a serious and committed relationship, as I wanted it to be - so therefore he went on cheating and ended up with another girl, leaving me behind. So I ended up being NC for nearly a month already, and I haven't heard anything from him yet. We're in the same boat, but honestly, I am getting over it and I won't say Im suffering...I just sometimes think about him, and wonder if he will ever call and at least apologize,but my phone stays always bloody silent...
Karma20 Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Yes he did. He actually was talking to 2 girls
Author valdeetz1 Posted January 11, 2011 Author Posted January 11, 2011 I would say it is equally the guy's and girl's thing. I know about 4 girl-friends who had their boyfriends leave them because of the GIGS and comming back within a period of 0.5 - 1 year. The worst is that my recent ex also broke up with me because of the GIGS after we've been living together for nearly 8 months, so I know what that is. Guys also have it, especially the players, or on the opposite- the ones who didn't manage to have enough of flirting, sex, and party. My bf is quite childish and he wasn't prepared for a serious and committed relationship, as I wanted it to be - so therefore he went on cheating and ended up with another girl, leaving me behind. So I ended up being NC for nearly a month already, and I haven't heard anything from him yet. We're in the same boat, but honestly, I am getting over it and I won't say Im suffering...I just sometimes think about him, and wonder if he will ever call and at least apologize,but my phone stays always bloody silent... I hear you. Mine has been 6 years- most of that time living together. We were engaged, have the dress paid for. He had a cataclysm though- his near death experience sent him into a confusion spiral. He left me, hooked up with a girl he never would have thought twice over within 5 days, and is already talking about moving in with her. So I hear. She just turned 21, he's all the time heading out with her and her friends to clubs and drinking- he's never been big on that. Its something new. I feel he was getting depressed and here he was emotionally vulnerable and he clung to that attention. Not my fault I was working the hours that I was- but hey... One minute he's the happiest he's ever been, the next he wishes he had died. He is almost 26, never been with anyone else- and never went through that stage. He was/is shy and junk growing up. No one gets him or why he's doing this, and everyone pretty much thinks he's lost his mind. I'm NC 3 weeks now, its hard. AND I told him not to call me at all...But its for the best because the person he is right now would only end up hurting me more. Do I hope he snaps out of it and comes home? Yes I do. Do I expect it to happen soon? Not really. All I can do is work on me and try to put it behind me.
I have no title Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 I hear you. Mine has been 6 years- most of that time living together. We were engaged, have the dress paid for. He had a cataclysm though- his near death experience sent him into a confusion spiral. He left me, hooked up with a girl he never would have thought twice over within 5 days, and is already talking about moving in with her. So I hear. She just turned 21, he's all the time heading out with her and her friends to clubs and drinking- he's never been big on that. Its something new. I feel he was getting depressed and here he was emotionally vulnerable and he clung to that attention. Not my fault I was working the hours that I was- but hey... One minute he's the happiest he's ever been, the next he wishes he had died. He is almost 26, never been with anyone else- and never went through that stage. He was/is shy and junk growing up. No one gets him or why he's doing this, and everyone pretty much thinks he's lost his mind. I'm NC 3 weeks now, its hard. AND I told him not to call me at all...But its for the best because the person he is right now would only end up hurting me more. Do I hope he snaps out of it and comes home? Yes I do. Do I expect it to happen soon? Not really. All I can do is work on me and try to put it behind me. Oh I understand you so well at this point....Mine did almost the same...well with slight differences..Me and him were together for 1 year (and 8 months we lived together)....he was the sweetest guy I've ever met....then I had to go to university to another country, and we entered a long distance relationship....Has he started experiencing GIGS even before I went? Yes, I tihink so, cause as soon as I went for my uni, he stopped contacting me AT ALL.... I was young a blind, and thought he was just too occupied with his things...well guess what, i kept on calling him for 6 months, and he kept telling me he loves me and all that, before I got his password from his facebook and realized that he had been in a relationship with that girl from nearly 5 months..he had cheated on me with 2 other girls after I went as well.... We broke up, but he changed in the same way you described! He parties like an animal, gets hell drunk (that girl likes it a lot too), he started smoking (she smokes too), even the way he speaks changed!! He never did that before, and besides that he told me I was too innocent and sweet for him, and that he doesn't like those types of girl anymore... Yeah I was fKING surprised to hear that, and at the beginning I pleaded and cried for him back...he only said " I know its bad what I did, and I really hope I'll stop liking this girl at some point and come back to you, thats why I didnt tell you I was dating her"....yeah bla bla bla bull****...He was still calling and writing, but as soon as I deleted him from my skype list, he dissapeard and never made an attempt to contact me..it has been a month I havent talked to him....so there you go.... he is childish, and he hasnt had enough of this partying, sex or whatever he is missing...Im not hoping he would come back though, cause I think its just impossible.. But I understand all the girls and guys who have went through this, and the only thing I can say is - dont cry, be strong, work on yourself!
Author valdeetz1 Posted January 11, 2011 Author Posted January 11, 2011 I can understand where you're coming from. It's a bad hurt. As far as the coming back...for me it would only be alright if he came back better for all of it- more secure and strong in what he wants. He always was before- but ever since September he's been shook up- understandably. I still love him- and I always will. But he needs to go do this for him. He might regret it and realize what he have/had. He might something he thinks is better. But I can keep my head high and hope for the best for him. If in the end, we end up together- its great. and if not...its for the best. I fully hold to that old saying "If you love someone/thing set them free. If they come back it was meant to be..."
Leandro Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 If in the end, we end up together- its great. and if not...its for the best. I fully hold to that old saying "If you love someone/thing set them free. If they come back it was meant to be..." I stick with the "If you love someone/thing set them free"
I have no title Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 I stick with the "If you love someone/thing set them free" me too me too...we'll see where this brings us!
Leandro Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 me too me too...we'll see where this brings us! hehehe, oh yeaaaa. .
Ajax Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 I stick with the "If you love someone/thing set them free" If you love someone/thing... run!
Leandro Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 If you love someone/thing... run! LOL, I'll need to remember that. *Writing down*
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