LoveBug1989 Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 I finally looked at his facebook for the first time in about a week and a half today, I was glad I did because I realized he really doesn't care about me anymore, and he is clearly interested in meeting "hawt young women" judging from his new profile information, and getting set up with them. I had last hopes that perhaps he was hurting too and would some time contact me again to try to get back together, but after seeing plain as day how much fun he is having without me and how many new friends he is making, those last hopes are gone. Obviously my heart is still crushed. I can't believe I had my first kiss and lost my virginity with this uncaring selfish boy. He has no idea how hard it was for me to overcome my shyness and fear and give myself to him like that. I believed all the lies that he was in this for the long run, that I was the one he'd been looking for, that he'd support me in my career even if it meant me moving. I was so estatic to be in my first "serious" relationship, I put all my effort into making him happy while he began to neglect my happiness. My ex always told me that I am "too nice"; he told me this when I told him about 3 separate sexual harrassment from men (1 at work, 2 online) and I guess I am too nice, and too trusting. How am I supposed to love or trust anyone, or offer my heart to them again, when you can't trust anyone on this planet.
Leandro Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 I know what you mean about the trust thing. You will be able to trust again. It's just a risk we take in life. Not all guys are like that. My ex cheated on me, but that doesn't mean all girls do or that I can't trust them. Don't check him FB anymore because you just broke contact I believe. So now you have to start all over.
Author LoveBug1989 Posted January 10, 2011 Author Posted January 10, 2011 Yeah, I know I broke NC technically. But I am glad I did, because now I'm not sitting here wondering anymore. I think it's giving me a step up to helping me move on. I guess time will tell with healing, I hope.
Leandro Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 Time will heal. Just takes time. You'll be just fine .
HeavenOrHell Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 Aw honey, don't let one person put you off men or make you feel no-one is trustworthy, your ex is just one person out of millions in the world who ARE trustworthy and much more deserving of your love. I think it will help you move on after seeing his fb, although don't assume he's not hurting at all, people have different ways of coping and moving on, but it could also be true that he doesn't care at all now, you don't want to be with someone selfish and uncaring, in which case you're way better off without him, you're free to meet someone who will make you happier when you are ready. My ex left me after 18 years, but I'm lucky that he was very sensitive about it and we remain friends, but I am finding it hard to not be insecure about my current partner, I worry he'll get bored with me and leave, not that that is why my ex left, but it's hard to get rid of that feeling, I am trying to learn to trust and to realise that my partner isn't my ex, I've got to treat it as totally different. There is someone out there who is much more compatible for you that your ex was, trust me Try to focus on other things and build your self esteem up, I am working on this too, you'll get there I finally looked at his facebook for the first time in about a week and a half today, I was glad I did because I realized he really doesn't care about me anymore, and he is clearly interested in meeting "hawt young women" judging from his new profile information, and getting set up with them. I had last hopes that perhaps he was hurting too and would some time contact me again to try to get back together, but after seeing plain as day how much fun he is having without me and how many new friends he is making, those last hopes are gone. Obviously my heart is still crushed. I can't believe I had my first kiss and lost my virginity with this uncaring selfish boy. He has no idea how hard it was for me to overcome my shyness and fear and give myself to him like that. I believed all the lies that he was in this for the long run, that I was the one he'd been looking for, that he'd support me in my career even if it meant me moving. I was so estatic to be in my first "serious" relationship, I put all my effort into making him happy while he began to neglect my happiness. My ex always told me that I am "too nice"; he told me this when I told him about 3 separate sexual harrassment from men (1 at work, 2 online) and I guess I am too nice, and too trusting. How am I supposed to love or trust anyone, or offer my heart to them again, when you can't trust anyone on this planet.
J Wool Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 I would say stay off FB...he knows u will be checking therefore it might be in his will to post things that are not real. Increasing friends on FB does not mean he is actually interacting with them. The more u post and increase ur friends' list is the more it shows how much bored or idle time u have.
HeavenOrHell Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 Very true! I would say stay off FB...he knows u will be checking therefore it might be in his will to post things that are not real. Increasing friends on FB does not mean he is actually interacting with them. The more u post and increase ur friends' list is the more it shows how much bored or idle time u have.
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