Confused100 Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 I was interested in a friend a while back. The interest diminished as I got interested in someone new. But that didn't work out, and now I'm starting to get interested in my friend again. A few weeks back, during Winter vacation, she started chatting with me more. A bunch of us went up to a multi-day conference this weekend. We talked a lot, flirted some (some sexual jokes, tickled/touched her, teased), and danced a little bit at the club. All of us friends, though, are quite close, so it's hard to judge how much of that is just acceptable within the circle and genuinely seen as flirting. The thing is she texts this one coworker guy of hers a lot, and she seems to be pretty close with another mutual friend. He has a girlfriend, but just how he acts around her is a bit odd. Of course because we have a lot of mutual friends I don't want to take any drastic steps. We see each other 1-2 times a week. One of my friends suggested I just do more activities with her, doesn't matter if it's group or 1-1. Agree/Disagree? Any other ideas?
Keridan Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 I'm a fan of the direct approach. If you like her, ask her out to coffee or drinks. Be casual, but get it out there. If nothing else, your friend is right. You can always start by just being around her. I just think you will save time and confusion if you throw it out there. Don't worry about the guy she texts, btw. Unless you are exclusive with her, she can do whatever she wants and no harm to you. Just start easy and see how it goes. He's not your problem. Good luck!
Author Confused100 Posted January 10, 2011 Author Posted January 10, 2011 Thanks for the response! If it fails, do you think that the direct approach would not make anything awkward between either us or our mutual friends?
Keridan Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 I would be very surprised if it was a problem. People ask other people on dates all the time. The only thing that can make it too awkward is putting too much weight behind the response. Just have to bear in mind that no answer ends the world and one might be fun
Author Confused100 Posted January 11, 2011 Author Posted January 11, 2011 Great! Because we are already friends, would I have to make to be a little more explicit in my suggestion? Or would it be fine if I just suggested a one on one outing like getting coffee, or cooking dinner, or whatever.
Keridan Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Start small. Coffee one on one (or drinks if that is more yer style). Don't overthink it. Just get her one on one and see how the sparks go. You can let her know you like her, but it will be obvious anyway (which is totally what you want). I bet yer fine, but if you are worried about the friendship, just be ready to accept if she isn't down. I doubt that will come up, tho.
Author Confused100 Posted January 12, 2011 Author Posted January 12, 2011 Great, I think I have all the necessary ammunition to make the appropriate steps. I was talking to one of our mutual friends in class today and she had noticed me and her getting really close recently. So I guess it may be becoming obvious to others that I'm interested. Just have to hope she's actually interested in taking it further.
Keridan Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 You are probably gonna do just fine. If someone else brought it up making it sound like they thought it was mutual, that is just one more good sign. Either way, it's fun to be interested in a woman Go out, have some fun. Report back. Good luck again!
Author Confused100 Posted January 13, 2011 Author Posted January 13, 2011 Quick update: I talked to her about an hour ago. I told her that I liked her, and then she said she knew. She said she'd have to think about it. I asked when I would hear back. She said after the weekend. I left her, and then while I was walking, she called me and asked me to meet with her tomorrow after she gets off work. My guess is that it's about discussing this with her? No idea what any of this means.
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