xpaperxcutx Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 I have no idea what this guy wants from me. I assume he's trying to gauge a reaction out of me.Normal texts would usually involve a good morning or a good afternoon, but otherwise, they're always in boring mode- meaning he has nothing better to say than to text me stupid smileys and compliments. This guy also has a habit of texting me at 1-2 in the morning but I let this go because I know he works late. He's always one to initiate the texts, but I don't really know how to respond except to reply with stupid smileys of my own. He (in) consistently texts me out of the blue at weird hours of the day, and then go for hours without replying. I'm kind of annoyed. How should I respond?
january2011 Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 I'd probably text him back with, "hey, what's up with all the smiley texting?" In my experience, annoyance is definitely not a good sign especially during the early stages of dating/a relationship.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted January 10, 2011 Author Posted January 10, 2011 I'd probably text him back with, "hey, what's up with all the smiley texting?" In my experience, annoyance is definitely not a good sign especially during the early stages of dating/a relationship. I'd previously discouraged him from using nicknames to compliment me. I'm not used to flattery and it's cheap when you do it over the phone. I wasn't being mean I just don't like it when guys dish it out so easily after one date. Also, he decided to throw a silly text tantrum over the weekend because of a silly misunderstanding between us. He'd assumed we had made plans for Friday, but I never made any plans with him. I'm annoyed with him because I like him but his behaviour screams immaturity to me to make me actually want to get involve with him.
january2011 Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 Is there any sign that there's more to him that meets the eye? If not, perhaps it's time to let him go.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted January 11, 2011 Author Posted January 11, 2011 Is there any sign that there's more to him that meets the eye? If not, perhaps it's time to let him go. He tells me he's an open book and that he has nothing to hide. In my opinion, when it comes to dating me, he's overeager. I can tell he likes me but I'm really, really hesitant about his advances because one, we'd only went on one date ( or hanged out once) and two, we live too far away from each other to really spend time together. Another problem in this equation is me. I feel like I'm acting too aloof when it comes to communicating with him, even though it's not my intention to act disinterested. I like him, but something's holding me back in terms of wanting to get to know him or being that " available".
january2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 He tells me he's an open book and that he has nothing to hide. In my opinion, when it comes to dating me, he's overeager. I can tell he likes me but I'm really, really hesitant about his advances because one, we'd only went on one date ( or hanged out once) and two, we live too far away from each other to really spend time together. Another problem in this equation is me. I feel like I'm acting too aloof when it comes to communicating with him, even though it's not my intention to act disinterested. I like him, but something's holding me back in terms of wanting to get to know him or being that " available". Do you think his over-eagerness is turning you off? That is, he's too 'in your space'. Similar to when someone is talking to you face-to-face but they are standing too close. You take a step back but they take another step forward and you start to feel claustrophobic and uneasy. It does seem like a lot of pursuing behaviour from him after just one date.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted January 11, 2011 Author Posted January 11, 2011 Do you think his over-eagerness is turning you off? That is, he's too 'in your space'. Similar to when someone is talking to you face-to-face but they are standing too close. You take a step back but they take another step forward and you start to feel claustrophobic and uneasy. It does seem like a lot of pursuing behaviour from him after just one date. Unfortunately, the only word that I can think of right now is hot and cold. He's " in my space" but he also backs off and disappears for a day or two. I don't know if it's because of his job or not, but he'll ask me personal questions and then when I reply he goes silent. He actually asked me out for this Wednesday, unfortunately he works at 7 so he suggested meeting at 5. I asked him what it was he wanted to do, and he gave me a one word reply " museum".
january2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 I asked him what it was he wanted to do, and he gave me a one word reply " museum". That's helpful of him. Xpaperxcutx, it may be nothing more sinister than he is a slave to his schedule and now you're a slave to his schedule. Are you really happy to work with this and the distance issue despite it manifesting as flaky behaviour on his part? Liking him or not. Great guy or not. Sometimes life does get in the way.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted January 11, 2011 Author Posted January 11, 2011 That's helpful of him. Xpaperxcutx, it may be nothing more sinister than he is a slave to his schedule and now you're a slave to his schedule. Are you really happy to work with this and the distance issue despite it manifesting as flaky behaviour on his part? Liking him or not. Great guy or not. Sometimes life does get in the way. Actually what pisses me off isn't me being a " slave" to his schedule because I have no problem saying no. In fact, I decided to make the deate Wednesday because I couldn't do Tuesday. What's getting on my nerves right now is him telling me that we should meet at 5 and spend two hours together, and him expecting me to " dress up" when I just want to be casual. He's scrutinized me before about my looks- saying my hair would look better undyed, or that my nails look unkempt ( because the polish was chipping off). Forget it, I'm cancelling on him. I feel like this guy wants to change me to fit his mold. Not happening. Thanks, J, for your help.
january2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Actually what pisses me off isn't me being a " slave" to his schedule because I have no problem saying no. In fact, I decided to make the deate Wednesday because I couldn't do Tuesday. What's getting on my nerves right now is him telling me that we should meet at 5 and spend two hours together, and him expecting me to " dress up" when I just want to be casual. He's scrutinized me before about my looks- saying my hair would look better undyed, or that my nails look unkempt ( because the polish was chipping off). Forget it, I'm cancelling on him. I feel like this guy wants to change me to fit his mold. Not happening. Thanks, J, for your help. No worries. I'm sorry that it's not working out. I was with a guy like that and he was a nice guy underneath it all. But the nitpicking and flaky behaviour due to a tight schedule put a huge strain on the relationship. At that time in my life when I was looking for some stability, I didn't need the self-esteem erosion or the unreliability.
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