knime32 Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 My ex and I have been off and on periodically over the last year. Before that our relationship was pretty solid for over 6 years. Recently, we broke up again, for reasons that are still unclear to me other than miscommunication. We hadn't talked for a few weeks and he called me back in the middle of December and we've started talking on and off again. He seemed very interested in working things out between us and getting back together. On Christmas he called again and we talked on the phone for over 2 hours about our relationship and I felt that it was necessary that I be upfront with him that I was talking to another guy, but not seeing him (prior to talking again and him apologizing, he had said it was over for good, so I was just trying to cope with breaking up.) He asked if we could go to dinner to talk more in person about us and I agreed that I'd go. The day we were supposed to meet, he texted and said that he was sick and asked if we could reschedule. We resecheduled for this past Friday but he backed out again. I was just wondering if any of you had any ideas about why there's a sudden change in his take on things and how he's acting. He's even come to the point of saying he never said any of the things that he did (I miss you, I think about you all the time, I messed up, I'm sorry for everything, I wish we could try again, etc.) which he and I both know he said and he even said some of it through text, so its in writing. I love this man with all my heart and really want to work things out between us, but I'm very confused by his behaviors. Anyone have anything similar or any advice on what to do? I've not tried to contact him again since him backing out of plans again. All of his friends say he's had conversations with them about how much he really does love me and he's not sure why he called it off in the first place except he was to afraid to admit he was upset.
D-Lish Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 The best way, and the only way to handle someone who is being wishy-washy and unreliable when it comes to their feelings is to let them go. You're not being fair to yourself if you accept bread crumbs from this guy. There is nothing more humiliating than accepting that you are an option to someone you love. If he's truly on the fence, the best way to make him come to a decision is to back off completely and cut him off. Right now, he knows he has control over you because you knows you'd take him back in a second. He's not forced to make any sort of decision right now because he knows he hasn't lost you. The only way he's going to realize what he's lost is if you take a stand and tell him "no".
Jake99 Posted January 10, 2011 Posted January 10, 2011 The best way, and the only way to handle someone who is being wishy-washy and unreliable when it comes to their feelings is to let them go. You're not being fair to yourself if you accept bread crumbs from this guy. There is nothing more humiliating than accepting that you are an option to someone you love. If he's truly on the fence, the best way to make him come to a decision is to back off completely and cut him off. Right now, he knows he has control over you because you knows you'd take him back in a second. He's not forced to make any sort of decision right now because he knows he hasn't lost you. The only way he's going to realize what he's lost is if you take a stand and tell him "no". Knime32, D-Lish is absolutely right!! Don't put yourself in a spot where you become a second rate person because the ex is riding a fence. I came here looking for answers as well. My ex gf left me all of a sudden "needing space" and after a month of sporadic text and emails, I went into NC (6 weeks now). She has sent two emails and I haven't responded, nor am I planning on. I know she went back to an old bf and I refuse to allow anyone to treat me as a plan B. Respect yourself Knime32 and move on. He isn't worth the pain for you!
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